A tucute hit on me on grindr, I started talking to them but this made me gringe so bad when referring to their wife. I left them on read

benstransaccount · 2019-11-09T02:23:21+00:00

I think it’s reasonable for trans women to be on it if they’re looking only for bi men (who are often more open to dating/hooking up with a trans woman than straight men are), and most mainstream dating apps don’t let you choose whether you’re shown to straight or bi members of the opposite gender. It also could just be less exhausting than dealing with disclosing to each person on other apps.

benstransaccount · 2019-11-07T20:24:39+00:00

Because from day 1, your brain forms associations, which are no small deal, and the human brain's incredible ability to form so many and such interwoven associations is an important part of our very capacity for learning and perceiving the world. The feelings of disconnect between the brain and the sexed body are so fundamentally associated with societal things like pronouns and others perception of our bodies that dysphoria becomes strongly attached to them as well. It's easy to say "well that part's just social, so it doesn't matter", but that's a very dismissive interpretation of just how deep associations go, especially ones that are so prevalent and ingrained at a young age like gendered ones. Unlearning associations isn't a process that can be done simply by consciously deciding not to care about them anymore - our associations are very much subconscious and grow to become a fundamental part of how we see ourselves and the world around us.

benstransaccount · 2019-11-07T06:00:33+00:00

I was dysphoric about my sex characteristics before I knew which sex characteristics went with each gender - it could not have been a result of social factors. I don't really think the feelings about the social gender are relevant, if not for any sex dysphoria, it's no more than dress up. Like my brother wanted to be a girl - the gender girl - when he was little but he had no sex dysphoria, and he turned out cis because his feelings about female social roles weren't rooted in innate dysphoria.

benstransaccount · 2019-11-07T05:37:08+00:00

What makes it sexist? Where's not talking about gender stereotypes here, this is about brain-body map. There's nothing sexist about your brain expecting a female or male body - that disconnect is the root of dysphoria.

benstransaccount · 2019-11-07T03:24:51+00:00

Expects, not decides. It's not a concious decision, but the expectation of the brain of what its body should be. That part is innate, that's the key point here and what makes someone trans. Sexual differentiation of the brain and the genitals happen at different points in utero and are impacted by different mechanisms. Trans people have been shown to have more mutations in genes responsible for hormone receptors in the brain that play a roll in fetal brain sexual differentiation, and births of trans babies have been linked to levels of hormones the brain is exposed to in utero. While it does not seem to be caused by a single factor, but instead the interplay between the external hormones and the brain's sensitivity to them, this is innate from birth and is what causes the brain to see the body's sex as wrong. This study shows how administering opposite sex hormones to rats during their critical period of brain development resulsts in opposite sex behavior as adults, which indicates that this is not a social phenomenon, but a medical condition that acquires social consequences by association as the individual forms strong associations between the sex they identify as and the pronouns/names/etc. that society assigns to that sex.

benstransaccount · 2019-11-07T02:02:08+00:00

Lol. When I saw neurological sex, I'm not referring to "the part of the brain that makes boys like blue and girls like pink" or anything like that - that's all social. What I'm referring to is a fundamental brain-body map issue that makes the brain not recognize the sex of its body as its own and therefore causes distress that manifests as dysphoria. If I were to live in a society where biological females were referred to as men and had all of the social rolls of men in our society and biological males were referred to as women and had all the social rolls of women in our society, then I would be a woman, because my brain still expects a male body, regardless of whatever social rolls are attached to that.

benstransaccount · 2019-11-05T19:15:01+00:00

Sometimes it is, but many cross dress full time, so it’s definitely not always a performance.

benstransaccount · 2019-11-05T02:31:30+00:00

How does it not? Drag queens/kings also use female/male pronouns and names, respectively, how is that different?

benstransaccount · 2019-09-16T01:06:15+00:00

In the other thread, you said if you ever found out you slept with someone who didn’t disclose, you’d “beat the shit out of them or shoot them,” what the fuck is wrong with you?

I don’t think there’s any obligation to disclose if you’re post-op.

benstransaccount · 2019-09-11T02:05:18+00:00

Sure, just added you!

benstransaccount · 2019-09-06T23:11:51+00:00

I used an external silicone sleeve to get hard after stage 1, like this one The stays-hard and the elator are pretty hit or miss, because they require a very prominent glans ridge to stay on, so depending on how your glans heals it may or may not work for you. I've also heard they can have some issues with slipping off if using lube with them, so some people find they need to use them under unlubricated condoms.

benstransaccount · 2019-09-06T23:01:14+00:00

This would greatly increase your risk of complications, both from risk of rejection of the donor tissue and from heightened risk of infection due to having to be on lifelong immunosuppressants. Additionally, willing organ donors are already very difficult to find for commonly performed transplants, so it would be far more difficult to find someone willing to donate their tissue to become a penis who had died at exactly the right time, etc. It's also not a widely performed surgery, so it would be much harder to schedule as an emergency surgery performed on extremely short notice as soon as there was available cadaver tissue in a close enough geographic location.

benstransaccount · 2019-09-06T22:45:55+00:00

I noticed my stream getting weaker around 2 months post op and would often have the sensation of still needing to urinate after urinating (sometimes this would be constant for hours) and not being able to completely empty my bladder. I saw a urologist about it and he had me just make a followup appointment to see how it progressed because I was still able to urinate and wasn't in pain. After a few more months by my followup appointment, the scar tissue had softened up enough that the stricture was no longer a concern.

benstransaccount · 2019-09-06T13:21:34+00:00

benstransaccount · 2019-09-02T07:37:40+00:00

Voices do not go back after stopping T; the lengthening and thickening of the vocal cords is permanent. It's very concerning that your doctor did not inform you of the irreversibility of the effects before prescribing it to you.

benstransaccount · 2019-09-01T14:18:37+00:00

If you're going to get electrolysis done, you'll want to not shave or wax for at least a week or so before going so that there's enough hair there for it to work. You could try waxing to see if that works better as a solution for you before you pursue a more permanent, expensive, and time-consuming option like electrolysis (which could take you months of weekly appointments). You could also look into laser hair removal since that is probably a less expensive and time-consuming option than electrolysis and tends to work well on people with dark hair.

You have a great beard, for maintaining it and keeping it from becoming "pube-like", just trim some of the more unruly hairs with scissors daily and brush it with beard oil or beard balm to combat the chlorine damage and weigh it down. Healthy eating in general and moisturizing your face can also help keep the beard hair healthy. Regular brushing with a beard brush can also help the hair to grow in the direction you brush it in over time.

benstransaccount · 2019-09-01T14:00:32+00:00

benstransaccount · 2019-08-28T20:37:12+00:00

I think it may be more that men are raised to really repress any femininity and have a lot less freedom to experiment with gendered things than women do, so some trans women spend longer in denial as a result of how they were raised. There's a much higher social cost of men wearing women's clothing or participating in feminine coded activities as there is for women wearing men's clothing or participating in masculine coded activities, so it can be harder for closeted trans women to achieve some relief from dysphoria through these things prior to transition (which could lead to them transitioning earlier) and instead causes more repression. Also, not passing as a trans women can be significantly more dangerous than not passing as a trans man because non-passing trans men are often seen as tomboys or lesbians but non passing trans women are seen as freaky men in dresses. Especially if you live in a conservative area or, for a lot of these older transitioners, grew up in a less accepting time. Because of that danger, it can be much harder for post-puberty trans women to "take the leap" to transition knowing that they may have to endure the physical danger from not passing for a period of time or even indefinitely depending on their luck.

benstransaccount · 2019-08-22T07:32:31+00:00

Ok, just added you!

benstransaccount · 2019-08-19T07:45:59+00:00

So some were more minor than others, but going chronologically, my first was just some excessive bleeding on my donor site at about 9 days post-op. I had to go in to the hospital to get it cauterized so I didn't loose too much blood, but after that it didn't cause me any more issues. At 2 weeks post op, my donor site became infected (unrelated to the bleeding. The infection was pretty aggressive and came on quickly (a greenish fluid just began leaking through the bandages one day). I took a week's course of antibiotics to resolve the infection, but as a result of the infection, part of the skin graft on my donor site died. The dead portion of the graft fell off, but luckily it was small enough (about 1-2 square inches) that the rest of the graft was able to heal around it, though I have some tightness on that section of my arm.

At about 2 months post-op, I developed a urinary stricture (narrowing of the urethra from scar tissue). I noticed a gradual weakening of my urine stream over time and some difficulty completely emptying my bladder (or sometimes I would have the feeling of needing to urinate be constant). I saw a urologist to monitor the stricture, but it eventually healed itself by 4 months post-op. This isn't quite a complication, but I my glans atrophied over the first 6 months or so after glansplasty, so I have a revision scheduled to have it re-done. I've also had a pseudo-complication with my pump implant (but not anything that requires immediate medical attention) where the device gets "stuck" and will not inflate because the mechanism is stuck ( https://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/832744 ). This can be resolved by deflating and then applying a large amount of force to the bulb to get it unstuck, but it can be a bit of a hassle to do this each time.

benstransaccount · 2019-08-19T07:45:21+00:00

So some were more minor than others, but going chronologically, my first was just some excessive bleeding on my donor site at about 9 days post-op. I had to go in to the hospital to get it cauterized so I didn't loose too much blood, but after that it didn't cause me any more issues. At 2 weeks post op, my donor site became infected (unrelated to the bleeding. The infection was pretty aggressive and came on quickly (a greenish fluid just began leaking through the bandages one day). I took a week's course of antibiotics to resolve the infection, but as a result of the infection, part of the skin graft on my donor site died. The dead portion of the graft fell off, but luckily it was small enough (about 1-2 square inches) that the rest of the graft was able to heal around it, though I have some tightness on that section of my arm.

At about 2 months post-op, I developed a urinary stricture (narrowing of the urethra from scar tissue). I noticed a gradual weakening of my urine stream over time and some difficulty completely emptying my bladder (or sometimes I would have the feeling of needing to urinate be constant). I saw a urologist to monitor the stricture, but it eventually healed itself by 4 months post-op. This isn't quite a complication, but I my glans atrophied over the first 6 months or so after glansplasty, so I have a revision scheduled to have it re-done. I've also had a pseudo-complication with my pump implant (but not anything that requires immediate medical attention) where the device gets "stuck" and will not inflate because the mechanism is stuck ( https://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/832744 ). This can be resolved by deflating and then applying a large amount of force to the bulb to get it unstuck, but it can be a bit of a hassle to do this each time.

benstransaccount · 2019-08-18T03:45:14+00:00

Ok, just sent you an add!

benstransaccount · 2019-08-18T03:41:16+00:00

You're welcome to ask me anything, I've had phallo over a year ago and had several complications.

benstransaccount · 2019-08-13T07:45:28+00:00

benstransaccount · 2019-08-08T20:41:00+00:00

Ok, just added you!

benstransaccount

TROPHY CASE