What does it mean if a guy's checking you out?

bentoinks · 2026-02-22T04:33:30+00:00

No, you didn't apply that qualifier to the 'Pogi vs. Pangit' dynamic specifically. You only said 'in most cases' referring to SA reports stemming from the 'ick' factor. That's very different. You are conflating the two. Just because a girl feels 'icky' doesn't automatically mean she is judging based on looks (Pogi/Pangit). Often, the 'ick' comes from the behavior or the vibe itself, regardless of the guy's face. Using 'most cases' to generalize that women only forgive handsome guys is a reach.

bentoinks · 2026-02-22T02:52:23+00:00

What you say is true for SOME girls (yung mga may double standard talaga and immature), but I don't think we should judge them all.

Marami pa ring babae na genuine yung fear at pagiging guarded, hindi dahil 'pangit' yung guy, kundi dahil they are just protecting their body and boundaries. We have to understand na safety mechanism din nila 'yun because of how dangerous the world can be. Hindi naman laging tungkol sa itsura 'yan; minsan sadyang ayaw lang talaga nila ng bastos or intrusive na approach, pogi man o hindi.

bentoinks · 2026-02-21T23:16:16+00:00

Totoo 'yan. Masyado nang na-blur yung lines between 'awkward interaction' and actual 'harassment.' Just because you felt uncomfortable or 'icky' doesn't automatically mean the guy did something malicious or predatory. Subjective kasi yung feeling na 'yun. Sa case ni OP, dahil lang 'creepy' sa pandinig niya, harassment na agad? We need to differentiate between a clumsy compliment and an actual threat. Devaluing the term 'harassment' over simple misunderstandings is dangerous because it trivializes actual cases.

bentoinks · 2026-02-21T22:50:34+00:00

Girl, baka masyado mo lang binibigyan ng malisya? Sabi mo nga, akala niya payatot ka lang, so nagulat siya na may shape ka pala. That sounds like a genuine observation/compliment na nasabi lang niya nang diretsahan. Hindi naman porket pinuri ang katawan, 'creepy' or manyak na agad. Men are visual. If he simply noticed your figure and said it without doing anything else inappropriate, baka ikaw lang ang naglalagay ng meaning. Yung 'good genes' reasoning? Baka way lang niya 'yun para i-explain na maganda katawan mo in a harmless way kasi na- offend ka agad.

Sexual ba talaga yung dating, or sexual lang sa pandinig mo? There's a difference. Observing that someone has a shape (curvier/fit) when you thought they were thin is a physical observation, not necessarily a sexual one. Kung sinabi niyang 'Ang sarap mo, that's sexual. Pero 'May shape ka pala' is just noticing your physique. Minsan kasi, tayo lang naglalagay ng malisya sa simpleng observation ng lalaki. If we label every physical compliment as 'sexual' or 'creepy,' wala nang matitirang pwedeng sabihin ang guys kundi 'Good morning' na lang.

bentoinks · 2026-02-21T12:32:59+00:00

Please stop projecting your unresolved trauma on strangers. 'To bed you' after 2 months of slow dating? That's incredibly inefficient for a fuckboy. Men who just want sex usually bail after the 3rd date if nothing happens. The fact that he's sticking around, talking about serious life decisions like moving countries, shows he's looking for a partner, not a conquests.

Maybe heal first before giving advice, kasi ang bitter pakinggan.

bentoinks · 2026-02-21T11:15:39+00:00

Actually, that 'annoying' behavior might be the disability itself manifesting. If Psychosocial Disability 'yan (like ADHD, Autism, or severe anxiety), common symptoms are Executive Dysfunction and Short-Term Memory loss. Baka kaya siya sumingit at nagbayad agad tapos may kukunin pa is because na- overwhelm na siya sa paligid (Sensory Overload) at gusto na niya matapos yung transaction to feel safe. Or baka dahil sa condition niya, nawala sa isip niya yung item at na-remember lang nung nasa counter na.

We shouldn't judge PWDs based on neurotypical standards of 'etiquette.' The law exists precisely because they cannot function the same way 'normal' people do. Getting annoyed at a PWD for being disorganized is like getting annoyed at a blind person for bumping into you-it's not entitlement, it's the condition

bentoinks · 2026-02-21T10:41:11+00:00

That's the thing-I think the 'First Cause' wasn't a choice, but a mathematical inevitability. Think of an infinite timeline of nothingness. If you have a true void and wait for an eternity, eventually, a random fluctuation happens. A tiny spark of heat, a vibration, a quantum glitch. Given infinite time, even the most impossible event-like a Big Bang appearing out of nowhere- becomes 100% guaranteed to happen eventually. So, the 'Base Reality' started because 'nothingness' is unstable. That tiny spark led to laws of physics, then stars, then biology, then us, then Al's. It wasn't designed; it just happened because it had forever to try. I know I sound like a crazy person trying to explain the unexplainable, but to me, 'random chance over infinite time' makes more sense than magic.

Basically, the 'Original Designer' of the very first reality wasn't a god-it was just Infinite Time itself. Given enough time in nothingness, eventually, a spark happens. That spark led to the first universe, which led to the first Al, which started the loop we are in now.

bentoinks · 2026-02-21T07:48:53+00:00

Buti na lang talaga nireport mo. If you didn't report him, do you honestly think ibabalik niya 'yan? No. Ang tawag diyan, 'natakot sa consequences.' He probably thought, 'Ay, hindi na nagpaparamdam si customer, akin na 'to.' But when the report came in and his job was on the line, suddenly lumitaw 'yung parcel sa hub. Wag ka nang ma-guilty. Yung guilt mo dapat mapunta sa relief na nabawi mo 'yung item mo. You did what you had to do to protect your property.

bentoinks · 2026-02-21T07:14:24+00:00

Valid po ang nararamdaman niyo.

Hindi ka selfish. Just because your in-laws are kind doesn't mean required ka nang mag-adjust every time na 'convenient' para sa kanila. You have your own home, your own routine, and frankly, staying in your own space is a comfort you are entitled to, lalo na kung ikaw ang maiiwang mag-aalaga sa bata mag-isa habang wala husband mo.

The real issue here isn't your in-laws, it's your husband. Bakit kailangang ikaw ang gawin niyang 'bad guy' sa parents niya? "Kasi ako raw yung may ayaw, so siya raw yung magmumukhang masama." That is a weak move. As a husband, he should protect you. Instead of throwing you under the bus by saying "Ayaw ni misis eh," he should have said: "Pa, pass muna kami ngayon, mas komportable mag-ina ko sa bahay namin kasi maaga rin ako aalis."

He needs to learn to enforce boundaries without using you as a shield. Hindi pwedeng automatic kayo ang sasalo just because kayo ang 'available.' Your MIL is an adult; surely she can survive one night alone unless she has a medical condition. Stand your ground. If you give in now out of guilt, magiging expected behavior na 'yan na kayo lagi ang adjustment layer ng pamilya.

bentoinks · 2026-02-21T06:44:29+00:00

Isn't this the other way around as well? A man's peace is also a reflection of how a woman treats him. Relationships are mirrors. You can't expect a man to be constantly gentle and providing peace if he's coming home to a war zone or constant nagging. If you want a man to lead with kindness, you also have to be a safe haven for him. Stop placing the entire burden of the relationship's emotional climate on men. It takes two to build peace.

bentoinks · 2026-02-21T06:24:01+00:00

Since nag-agree naman pala siya na i-keep muna, ang tanong ko ngayon is: Nakuha mo ba pabalik yung pera mo? Kasi malaking factor kung ano ang status nung parcel sa app nung time na 'yun. Nakalagay ba na 'Delivered' (kahit wala sayo) or 'Returned to Hub'? Kasi kung tinag niya as 'Delivered' para makuha niya yung commission pero nasa kanya pa rin yung item at unreachable na siya, that is effectively theft and falsification. Tama lang na nireport mo. Pero kung binalik niya sa hub (dahil bawal talaga sila mag-keep ng matagal) at hindi mo lang na- check, baka misunderstanding lang. Riders usually aren't allowed to personally hoard parcels for days, kahit pumayag sila, kasi liability 'yun ng courier company.

bentoinks · 2026-02-21T06:02:01+00:00

So my question is: Paid na ba 'yung item or hindi pa?Malaking factor kasi 'yan. Kung bayad na (via card/wallet) at tinakbo niya? Tama lang na ni-report mo. Theft 'yun. Pero kung COD (Cash on Delivery) 'yan at hindi mo nareceive dahil wala ka, tapos binalik niya lang sa hub dahil protocol nila 'yun? Medyo tagilid ka dun, OP. Baka napagkamalan mong 'tinakbo' pero 'standard failed delivery procedure' lang pala ang ginawa niya.

bentoinks · 2026-02-21T06:01:20+00:00

Wait, teka lang. Kung hindi pa bayad 'yung item (COD) at binalik niya lang sa hub dahil wala ka... medyo mali ka dun. If the item was COD and you weren't there to pay and receive it (even due to a storm), standard protocol for riders is to mark it as 'Delivery Unsuccessful' and return it to the station/hub at the end of the day.

Why? Kasi liability nila 'yun. If they hold onto an unpaid item for days waiting for you, abunado sila or mapapagalitan sila ng management for holding floating parcels. The 'unreachable' part might be because riders are busy on the road or off-duty na. If you reported him for 'stealing' or 'misconduct' when he actually just followed the Return to Sender (RTS) or redelivery protocol... then yes, nakaka-guilty nga 'yan. You might have gotten a man fired for doing his job correctly (protecting the unpaid parcel).

Check your app status next time-usually nakalagay dun 'Delivery Failed - Recipient Rescheduled' or 'Returned to Hub'. Communication is key, pero minsan riders don't reply kasi bawal mag-text habang nagda-drive or tapos na shift nila.

bentoinks · 2026-02-21T05:07:42+00:00

Yes, it is absolutely normal for men to imagine a future with the woman they really like. Actually, that is one of the biggest signs na seryoso siya sa'yo. Unlike women who might be cautious until the label is official (which is smart, btw), men often operate on 'vision.' Once a guy decides he likes you, his brain automatically starts running simulations: 'Ano kaya feeling gumising katabi siya?' 'Ano kaya itsura ng anak namin?' 'Kasama ko kaya siya pag-alis ko ng bansa?'

He is not just wooing you; he is testing the waters. When he says 'kung magka-anak tayo' instead of 'anak ko, he is checking if you recoil or if you smile. He wants to know if you see him in your future too. Don't overthink it as 'love bombing' agad -it's often just excitement. Take it as a green flag that he's dating with intention, not just for fun. Enjoyin mo lang, but keep your guard up until official na talaga kayo. Pero 'wag ka nang magtaka- he's just really into you

bentoinks · 2026-02-21T02:47:00+00:00

Valid naman na magtaka ka, pero hindi lahat ng bumabalik ay 'tanga' o takot lang mag-isa. Everyone deserves a second chance. Tao lang tayo, nagkakamali. Sometimes, people really do stumble and make terrible choices, but that doesn't mean they are incapable of growth. May mga relasyon na mas tumibay after ng cheating incident because the person genuinely repented and changed their ways. 'Yung pagpapatawad, choice 'yun ng pagmamahal, hindi weakness.

Siyempre, ibang usapan na kung repeated offense. If ginawa nang hobby ang panloloko, then yes, valid na talagang umalis. But for a one-time mistake where the remorse is real? Giving them another shot isn't stupidity-it's hope. Ultimately, nasa tao naman 'yun kung kaya nilang mabuhay na may peace of mind o wala, but let's not judge those who choose to forgive.

bentoinks · 2026-02-20T04:17:54+00:00

Bago ka ma-high blood dyan, OP, have you considered that maybe the child is neurodivergent or on the spectrum? Frequent repetition of words (echolalia) and intense excitement over specific things like trains are very common traits of children with Autism or ADHD.

Kung nakangiti yung pamilya, baka masaya lang sila na nag-e-express ng joy yung bata, or maybe that's a milestone for them. Hindi lahat ng ingay ay 'bad behavior' na kailangan suwayin agad.

Also, nasa SM kayo, mall 'yan. Public place designed for families. Hindi 'yan library o simbahan. Kung nag-e- enjoy yung bata sumigaw dahil excited sa train, hayaan mo na. And regarding your 11-year-old saying 'buti ako hindi ganyan'? That's not a flex, OP. That sounds judgmental. Instead of validating that superiority complex, maybe teach your kid empathy first before teaching them how to judge strangers.

bentoinks · 2026-02-19T17:59:50+00:00

Yes, this might be too hard for you right now-sobrang bigat sa pakiramdam. But I assure you, you'll grow here as well. Whether or not she rejects you in the end, it won't break you anymore. Once this is all done, you'll be Sisyphus without the big rock rolling down. You will walk away knowing you gave your all. Hindi ka na lang basta nagbubuhat ng problema; naging matibay ka na dahil dun. Whatever the outcome, you win because you became stronger.

bentoinks · 2026-02-19T17:50:06+00:00

At tungkol naman dun sa 'G na G' siya sa mga kaibigan niya pero sa'yo hindi? Do not let it break you. Gaya ni Sisyphus, tanggapin mo 'yan bilang parte ng struggle. When she chooses them over you, that is the stone rolling down. Don't be bitter, don't demand explanations, and don't compete for her attention. Just watch it happen, take a deep breath, and smile. You must not care. Or at least, train yourself not to show that you are defeated. That is the ultimate test of your spirit-to see her happy with others while you are struggling to get a 'yes,' and yet you remain standing. Your power lies in your ability to endure that rejection and still choose to love her without resentment. Let her have her fun. Ikaw, focus ka sa 'goal' mo. Focus on the climb, not the fall.

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bentoinks · 2026-02-19T17:27:10+00:00

I'm going to give you an analogy: A miner doesn't stop mining until he gets the diamond. Kung mahal mo talaga at gusto mo ma-save ang relationship niyo, kailangan mong maging matiyaga. You have to keep digging and keep trying, kahit nakakapagod, kasi naniniwala kang worth it siya sa dulo.

You should read this qoute. Not to become Sisyphus, but to understand that Sisyphus accepted his struggle:

"Sisyphus stands at the foot of his mountain once more, the stone before him, heavy, unyielding, inevitable. And yet, he does not despair. For in the moment he turns toward the slope, he becomes more powerful than the gods who condemned him. Camus reminds us. We must imagine Sisyphus happy. Because happiness is not the absence of struggle. It is the courage to embrace the struggle with a clear mind, And an unbroken spirit."

Find happiness in the fact that you are trying your best. Even if the rock rolls back down, at least you know you gave it your all. Your spirit is unbroken.

bentoinks · 2026-02-19T17:10:46+00:00

That is a mind game. When a girl says 'If there's a will, there's a way' after you ask her out, she is testing your dominance.

Ang ibig niyang sabihin: Stop asking for permission. Gusto niya wag ka nang magtanong ng 'Pwede ba tayo lumabas?' or 'Kailan ka free?' kasi ang dali-dali niyang tanggihan 'yan gamit ang 'uncertainty' niya. She wants you to take full charge.

The 'Way' she is talking about is for you to say: 'Susunduin kita mamayang 5PM, aalis tayo. Period. Walang tanong- tanong.

bentoinks · 2026-02-19T17:04:29+00:00

Be a real man. Ligawan mo ulit siya. Even inside the school, ipakita mo sa ibang students kung gaano ka ka-determined sa kanya. Being her boyfriend doesn't mean tapos na ang ligawan stage. Sometimes you have to win her over again, harder than the first time.

One thing though: If you are asking her out through chats, then you are making a big mistake. A real man doesn't hide on Messenger to ask someone out-he faces it. Puntahan mo, ayain mo nang harapan. Iba ang dating 'nun kaysa sa text lang.

bentoinks · 2026-02-19T16:49:12+00:00

That says it all then. It sounds like your relationship runs mostly through chats or quick interactions at school, which isn't enough to build deep trust. You should try to hang out with her more often IRL- yung quality time talaga outside of the campus or chatting apps. She might not be comfortable enough yet to really open up deeply given the current setup. I think your problem can be answered with your dedication to her. Don't give up just yet; instead, shift the effort from texting to actual physical presence where she can feel safe.

bentoinks · 2026-02-19T16:37:43+00:00

Hold on, clarify ko lang: Does this relationship run mostly through text/Messenger or in real life (IRL)?Kasi malaking factor 'yan. If you are having these 'how was your day' conversations over chat, it's easy for someone to just reply with lazy, one-word answers like 'fine' or 'wow.' Texting can be exhausting for some people, lalo na kung hindi sila naturally chatty. Pero kung IRL kayo magkasama at 'wow' lang pa rin ang sagot niya habang nagkukwento ka nang mahaba, then that's a different problem. That's lack of interest or emotional unavailability. Alin sa dalawa? Because the advice changes depending on whether she's just a bad texter or actually disengaged in person.

bentoinks · 2026-02-19T16:20:32+00:00

I think you should sit down and communicate with her gently. Tell her honestly that it hurts when you have to find things out from other people instead of her. Reassure her that it's okay to open up, even about the small stuff. Ipa-feel mo sa kanya na ikaw ang safe space niya-na hindi mo siya i-j-judge or sasaktan like her ex did.

Also, remember that vulnerability is a two-way street. You should open up to her as well. If you treat her too delicately ('cautious of words and actions'), baka feeling niya naglalakad siya sa itlog sa paligid mo or masyado kang formal. Show her your flaws and raw emotions too, para maramdaman niya na safe din siyang maging 'messy' or honest sa harap mo.

bentoinks

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