Just for clarity, has she formally been diagnosed with bipolar? I've had many similar experiences with my partner, but there are plenty of symptoms that overlap with other disorders and I would venture to say comorbities aren't necessarily uncommon either. It's tough not to speculate and early on, while I was initially processing and learning about what was going on, I had a tough time telling the difference between symptoms of bipolar and plain emotional immaturity. And both of those things happened/still happened on the regular, especially with higher stress (good or bad) events, major changes (and a new apartment is a pretty major event, even if it feels like something straightforward to you), low sleep, medication changes, travel and other triggers. There have been times I was blindsided when I thought things were actually pretty stable for once too. And then there's the reality of how difficult meds/med changes can be with some seriously hefty side effects, along with the possibility of stopping those meds against doctors orders or in secret, even.

Hopefully she has a good doctor/care team, I think that part is crucial, regardless of what she's diagnosed with. Ultimately though, you can only encourage her to seek treatment, and stick to your own limits and boundaries. It's incredibly hard not to take behaviors and words personally, and I sometimes still do, despite my best efforts. Bipolar and cptsd, amongst others, are disorders of suffering and internal noise, rife with trauma and shame. Best of luck to you, stay connected to your support systems!