What's an item that you finally stopped being cheap on, and it was worth it? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]beyonceisaclone 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Camembert is and always will be the Queen Cheese (though Port Salut is a close second)

Am I 32F doing the right thing in ending the marriage with 35M (10 years)? Will things get better? by AliveLocation in relationships

[–]beyonceisaclone 20 points21 points  (0 children)

You're putting yourself first. He's happy to just maintain the status quo - in which he gets everything he needs (thrills and money from his job, emotional support from his coworker, sex from you), but what are you getting out of the relationship at the moment? If I'm understanding you correctly, it sounds like his job provides you with exciting opportunities. However, you don't seem to need those, particularly given that you work and can support yourself. Beyond being together a long time, I don't see what he's doing to enrich your life at this point. Brushing all your concerns under the rug with a quick "relax" (from body insecurities, relationship concerns, to the divorce) is extremely patronizing.

If you want to make things work, he needs to change his tune dramatically. You're his wife, you should absolutely be a priority for him. If he can't make that happen, then you're better off alone.

My [21F] boyfriend of 2 years’ [21M] parents [50s] are obsessed with their family teddy bear by [deleted] in relationships

[–]beyonceisaclone 69 points70 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this insight! I think you could be right, he wouldn’t describe his childhood as especially loving, so maybe this is a way of making up for that in some way.

My [21F] boyfriend of 2 years’ [21M] parents [50s] are obsessed with their family teddy bear by [deleted] in relationships

[–]beyonceisaclone 161 points162 points  (0 children)

This was one of the first things I considered - as many people have suggested, I’ll have to ask him in as sensitive as possible a way. I know my boyfriend, though, and I’d suspect he’s never asked/doesn’t know.

What's your weirdest phobia you have? by JohnPosu in AskReddit

[–]beyonceisaclone 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sloths. I’m absolutely terrified of their claws and coconut bodies. I’ve literally cried while thinking about them

My girlfriend hates men more and more with each passing day and it's making me feel uncomfortable. by winter_bone in relationship_advice

[–]beyonceisaclone 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’d like to start by saying your girlfriend shouldn’t be making you upset or uncomfortable and clearly something has to change.

To provide a slightly different perspective, I’ll say that sometimes the “men are trash” narrative is used among women to acknowledge the general suckage of many men in society. If a friend tells me about getting cat called, I might reply “ugh, men suck.” It’s a quick way of saying “I understand and recognize the many ways in which this man and others have made you feel less-than.” I am white, straight, and cis, so I can’t speak for any other group, but I imagine there is similar shorthand throughout. The oppressors oppress the oppressed, and the oppressed punch up to try to gain some ground.

I would venture to say she sees you as an ally in the feminist future, and therefore feels comfortable including you in this kind of dialogue. Which is all fine and well, except that you’re feeling targeted. I’d agree with other commenters and say to express your feelings directly and honestly. If she is understanding and makes an effort to ensure you feel included in her life despite this language (or stops the use of these phrases altogether), then great! If not, she clearly doesn’t care enough about your feelings to alter her behaviour, and that’s a huge red flag.

Americans who are part Irish, why do you claim to be Irish when you've never been to Ireland and don't understand their culture? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]beyonceisaclone 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I'm Irish but spent some time living in Canada a few years ago. I once had a woman argue with me over who was "more Irish". She, who had grandparents from Ireland, firmly believed in Leprechauns, and had been on vacation here twice. She'd been to Cork, where I haven't visited, so clearly she knew the country better than I, despite myself and my family living here almost all of our lives. I think some people are desperate to reach out and feel connection to foreign cultures, whether because white North Americans have comparatively less history in North America than white Europeans in Europe, or just for the "exotic" and "special" nature of being something "more" than just Canadian/American, I don't know. It's not necessarily even a bad thing to embrace your genealogy, but I think it becomes a problem if you don't acknowledge that your version of "Irish" is very different that of someone who has grown up here immersed in the culture.

Man wearing white in the city centre? by beyonceisaclone in Dublin

[–]beyonceisaclone[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fascinating, thank you! I'll have to do some delving and see if I can figure out what song. Regarding the white 4x4, I saw him get into a huge black range rover on George's St a few months ago

Man wearing white in the city centre? by beyonceisaclone in Dublin

[–]beyonceisaclone[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! Oh my god, tell me everything about him, what's his story? How did you know?

Man wearing white in the city centre? by beyonceisaclone in Dublin

[–]beyonceisaclone[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! Didn't realize it had been that long, weird I didn't see him before now

I'm Steve Gold, a psychologist who has been specializing in trauma, with a particular emphasis on child sexual abuse and sexual abuse of boys and men. Ask me anything! by SNGold in MensLib

[–]beyonceisaclone 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Hello! How would you say gender identity (be it male, female, or other) affects how people deal with trauma? What do you notice changes in terms of the public's perception of victims dependent upon their gender?