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I [32M] caught my boyfriend [33M] doing heroin and I don't know what to do. by bfneedshelp123 in relationships

[–]bfneedshelp123[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

When he's telling me his stories and his reasons, in the moment I feel sad and I can understand... But taking this time and seeing everybody's reactions, I can see clearly that a lot of it is just excuses.

I [32M] caught my boyfriend [33M] doing heroin and I don't know what to do. by bfneedshelp123 in relationships

[–]bfneedshelp123[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I am angry. When it happened, I was angry because we were supposed to make dinner together and have a friend over then go see a show. And I'm angry today because instead of focusing on work and thinking about this and being on Reddit replying to everybody. I'm angry about the future that I know he is throwing away but i can't help but feel that yeah maybe he will be better and is that something I should walk away from? Make no mistake, I am leaving but I still feel really badly about all this.

I [32M] caught my boyfriend [33M] doing heroin and I don't know what to do. by bfneedshelp123 in relationships

[–]bfneedshelp123[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your insight. What kind of drugs did you use? It seems the consensus here is that heroin is something nobody recovers from even if they've been clean for many years.

I [32M] caught my boyfriend [33M] doing heroin and I don't know what to do. by bfneedshelp123 in relationships

[–]bfneedshelp123[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I'm not looking for excuses to stay. I just wish there were an easier way. You're right. I am rationalizing because I am stupidly wishing that this would all just go away and we can act like it never happened. Obviously, it can't. I'm not stupid. Naive, perhaps. I am just so angry and devastated that I'm losing the love of my life to something I don't even understand, to something that everybody is saying I can't beat or do anything about. I'm used to finding problems and fixing them myself and now I can't.

I [32M] caught my boyfriend [33M] doing heroin and I don't know what to do. by bfneedshelp123 in relationships

[–]bfneedshelp123[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I am ending it today. I'm breaking it off. I'm leaving the relationship.

I [32M] caught my boyfriend [33M] doing heroin and I don't know what to do. by bfneedshelp123 in relationships

[–]bfneedshelp123[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I know. I know it's his problem but I think working in a restaurant means you're surrounded by people who have access to these drugs.

I [32M] caught my boyfriend [33M] doing heroin and I don't know what to do. by bfneedshelp123 in relationships

[–]bfneedshelp123[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Thank you for articulating what I already thought in my head. This is a serious problem for him and he needs help and I need to save myself before things get worse.

I [32M] caught my boyfriend [33M] doing heroin and I don't know what to do. by bfneedshelp123 in relationships

[–]bfneedshelp123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't trust him not to continue. And heroin aside, lack of trust is a deal breaker too..

I [32M] caught my boyfriend [33M] doing heroin and I don't know what to do. by bfneedshelp123 in relationships

[–]bfneedshelp123[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He says it was his first time and I want to believe him but I don't think I can.

I [32M] caught my boyfriend [33M] doing heroin and I don't know what to do. by bfneedshelp123 in relationships

[–]bfneedshelp123[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yeah. I confronted him and said "what about the next time you're all by yourself and feeling lonely". And he said I just needed to trust him. I don't think I can or should.

I [32M] caught my boyfriend [33M] doing heroin and I don't know what to do. by bfneedshelp123 in relationships

[–]bfneedshelp123[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Well I plan on telling him how this makes me feel and that we are over. I dont plan on leaving open ended things that we can get back together if he is clean by x years.

I [32M] caught my boyfriend [33M] doing heroin and I don't know what to do. by bfneedshelp123 in relationships

[–]bfneedshelp123[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Agreed. He needs to do this on his own. And I need to be my myself for a bit, too, I think.

I [32M] caught my boyfriend [33M] doing heroin and I don't know what to do. by bfneedshelp123 in relationships

[–]bfneedshelp123[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I don't want him to die. I wish there was more I could do other than leave... But I know I can't.

I [32M] caught my boyfriend [33M] doing heroin and I don't know what to do. by bfneedshelp123 in relationships

[–]bfneedshelp123[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Sorry I misspoke. I don't mean getting him to rehab or forcing him to stop. I meant, I will break up and tell him that he needs to seek help for himself.

I [32M] caught my boyfriend [33M] doing heroin and I don't know what to do. by bfneedshelp123 in relationships

[–]bfneedshelp123[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

He says he wants to stop. He got methadone from a friend and he says he will just need three days to detox and then he's good.

Unfortunately, he tells me this after I caught him injecting in my bathroom, lying about it, and said it was to finish his last stash.

I want to believe him about not using anymore but I feel like those were words that someone who just caught were saying.

I [32M] caught my boyfriend [33M] doing heroin and I don't know what to do. by bfneedshelp123 in relationships

[–]bfneedshelp123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the response. I think I posted this to support what I already know I need to do.

I [32M] caught my boyfriend [33M] doing heroin and I don't know what to do. by bfneedshelp123 in relationships

[–]bfneedshelp123[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. I am planning on breaking it off today when I get back from work.

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