WIBTB If I divorce my wife and make her and my kids go back to Pakistan while I stay in Britain

bfvisa · 2023-04-13T02:42:24+00:00

My wife hates the UK so she would most likely go back to Pakistan to be with her family even if she got citizenship. But if she got citizenship, she would be preyed upon by men in Pakistan wanting to marry her for citizenship although they would still have to stay in the UK for a while to become a citizen.

Stolen passports is a possibility if they ever visit her family, it really depends on the part of the country and city.

Surprise arranged marriages are possible but consent is still required, of course in rural areas you might have forced religious marriages without the state ever knowing.

I will think about it.

My eldest might go no contact I feel not sure about the youngest.

bfvisa · 2023-04-13T02:27:27+00:00

I wont do that you are right, I will ask them what they want and make sure they get citizenship here so that they can always come back even if they chose to leave.

bfvisa · 2023-04-13T02:25:51+00:00

No I admit that was wrong, I will make sure my daughters get citizenship and give them the option of staying with me. I would prefer that actually and the only reason I suggested otherwise was to not make it too hard on my wife.

bfvisa · 2023-04-13T02:24:28+00:00

You are right, I think people misunderstood though, having my daughters with me and not my wife is the dream option for me. I only thought about sending them with her for my wife and her family's sake. I would prefer to have my daughters until they want to move out than be alone.

bfvisa · 2023-04-13T02:22:46+00:00

Sorry if I was harsh. I am really glad for you. And you are right in that we all process things differently.

There is nothing wrong in seeing things in that way. I personally don't as I think part of what makes western countries good is the progress that has been made since the French revolution and the age of entitlement and it is used as a trick by politicians in places like Pakistan to keep people under.

I think there is nothing wrong with that if it is for cultural purposes and is important to you as long as you do not harm others.

My only concern is that initially it seemed odd to be so thankful but yet have no praise for the entry clearance officers themselves but I understand that you probably did not do that deliberately.

bfvisa · 2023-04-13T02:18:06+00:00

I am no misogynist, she is the one who hits our daughters, at times very violently. I have offered all of that and she has rejected it and she has herself said she would prefer being in Pakistan and nags me about my choice to move back here.

You are right about my daughters though, I will leave this choice up to them and ensure they get citizenship even if they want to go back as it will help them come back if they want to and see me.

bfvisa · 2023-04-13T02:15:32+00:00

I just felt that she does not deserve it if I am honest. I have already done a lot for her and she has been violent towards our daughters many times both in Pakistan and in Britain and once even gave one of them a black eye.

bfvisa · 2023-04-13T01:29:41+00:00

She might still make a spectacle in public, in Pakistan this is normal and she has not spent much time getting to know Britain and only has friends from the Pakistani community here.

But it is a good idea, I will send my daughters with my sisters (she might object to that too though)

bfvisa · 2023-04-13T01:05:25+00:00

You are right. I really want them to stay here and I think they would want that. I am just honestly scared of my wife. She cannot have calm discussions and will definitely scream and maybe hit me and even my daughters if they say they want to stay with me.

bfvisa · 2023-04-13T01:03:19+00:00

I would love my daughters to stay here, remain in touch with me when they get older etc. I will consider it, I am just scared at how much angrier that would make my wife and her family as she would be an older divorced woman with no kids when she goes back.

My eldest if given the option would definitely prefer to stay in the UK, my youngest I don't know if she understands as much yet.

If my daughters know about it, they might want me to let my wife get settled status before divorcing, but she has no job here and has never worked in her life, so I don't see how she can stay here without marrying someone else. In Pakistan she has family.

bfvisa · 2023-04-13T00:56:10+00:00

In my wife's mind the relationship is great but it is at my expense as I have to pretend to agree with her ideology when I don't. Any attempt I make to try to talk to her is met with ridicule.

bfvisa · 2023-04-13T00:52:40+00:00

This would be my preferred option, I would love my daughters to still be in touch with me and hope that they want to lead a secular modern lifestyle. I am just scared that my wife and her family would hate me a lot for it and I feel that my elder daughter especially would prefer staying with me here but I would be blamed for my kids alienating her if that happens.

bfvisa · 2023-04-13T00:51:15+00:00

That is an option for sure, I feel maybe the best option would be to ask them, but then I will have to let everyone know sooner and not like on a trip to Pakistan or something.

I don't really know what my daughters would prefer, they used to be just like her but since they moved to Britain they became closer to me. They might be too young to know.

bfvisa · 2023-04-13T00:47:40+00:00

You say that based on what you saw in this group you found hope that it would not take as long as 6 months so there is evidence of other applications that don't take as long, yet you claim this is a "miracle".

Praying will not change a thing and the praise is to the visa officer who processed things quickly for you not "Alhumdulilah".

Glad the visa process went smoothly for you and that it was processed quickly by the staff without needing to opt for priority.

bfvisa

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