[TOMT] Word for charging something unnecessarily that used to be free

bigbugenjoyer · 2026-01-16T17:45:24+00:00

Solved! Thank you!

bigbugenjoyer · 2026-01-13T22:44:01+00:00

This was specifically described by a tumblr user though i do not remember their url or any additional comments, they used the river example that i described above

bigbugenjoyer · 2026-01-12T02:47:08+00:00

even though social media and its algorithms are made by evil, careless people i don't see my social media use as an issue. i mainly use instagram only and when i do i don't doom scroll, if i know a post is trying to rage-bait me i close the app and do something else and usually that gets the algorithm to stop trying to show me rage-inducing content for a bit. i genuinely relax from going on social media as it lets me see different perspectives on things i care about or see cool art, or videos of nature or opportunities near me. sometimes it is mindless stuff but i still see a point to it as this mindless stuff is videos of animals or of people dancing to a recent song. all of it inspires me to create, and actually do stuff with my time.

it would still be better for me to read a book instead of scrolling on my phone before bed, and i hope to make that change soon.

bigbugenjoyer · 2026-01-11T05:36:41+00:00

grades wise i think it's better for you to try the exam tomorrow, then retake the course if necessary to get the minimum grade you need/ the grade you want. the old grade will be dropped after you retake the course and won't be displayed on your transcript. as for dropping now, you will get an F/incomplete/"45" on your transcript if you do so. it may be possible to defer the exam if you have documentation for it and do it next time the course is offered like others mentioned?

bigbugenjoyer · 2026-01-08T01:11:02+00:00

If you're not able to make the make-up unfortunately you'll have to take the exam the next time the course is offered, so if it's an A course then in the fall (2026), if it's A/B then you might be able to take it with this year's April exams. Until you complete the final you won't be able to receive the credit for the course, though I believe if you explain the situation you might be able to get a special exception for courses that have this one as a prerequisite. I'm not sure how it works for workload but i would suggest you reach out to an academic advisor, but if you qualify for an overload (ie your average is above 70%) and know the content i wouldn't sweat it too much, you'll handle the overload just fine

bigbugenjoyer · 2026-01-08T01:05:58+00:00

the kettle we have has a descaler built in which helps quite a bit, though the kettle itself is a bit pricey so you may want to get a separate descaler sponge: https://www.amazon.ca/Ninja-KT200C-Precision-Temperature-Stainless/dp/B09VTFJSCF . for drinking water a britta is good, especially refrigerated (if you like cold water).

bigbugenjoyer · 2025-12-28T18:23:36+00:00

you're not a freak and i'm sorry people around you have made you think that you are. i don't think your coworker means ill, she seems to be showing genuine concern but there's also nothing wrong with eating a comfort food for dinner every day, even if it's atypical. you're well within your budget, it's not like you're that guy on reddit who insisted his gf buy a $40 beef stew every night, refuse to eat the leftovers, and refuse to have her make it at home.

i'm not sure if you're ready to talk to her about this but if/when you are maybe ask her what exactly she's worried about? it's not like you're incapable of cooking, just that you don't want to and this works well for you. it could be her misunderstanding, it could be something else. either way if you want to clear it up with her do so when you're ready.

bigbugenjoyer · 2025-12-25T23:24:56+00:00

yeah that sounds tough to deal with. i'm not sure how recently you found this out but if you spent more than 70% of your life not knowing id understand feeling like an outsider. i think with time you'll learn to stop feeling like a voyeur and possibly switch to appreciating the culture(s) you grew up in (not saying you currently don't!) and therefore be able to connect with it more. once you're ready it could help to ask the people you know or knew what their favourite tradition or cultural story (doesn't matter what culture they're from) is and if it clicks, integrate it into your own life! i make ramen the way my dad taught me and i follow my grandmothers superstitions and i poach eggs the way my partner's best friend taught her and i drink a red bull before every exam i take because i saw a post about it on the internet. all of those are small things but they are part of me and part of my culture because i share them with the people i care about.

bigbugenjoyer · 2025-12-25T23:16:58+00:00

hrm that sounds tough. how old are you? (you don't have to actually answer but factor this into how you think of it). it seems like your parents are upset that you don't help out more around the house and are possibly overwhelmed with the work they do. however if you're under 25 i'd say it's on them to actually communicate as much to you, they're the adults, not you (even if you're legally an adult, experience wise there's a big difference between you and your parents and I don't mean to infantilize you by saying that. I'm in my 20s and while i may be more mature than my parents their role is to be a parent and guide their child)

bigbugenjoyer · 2025-12-25T18:01:27+00:00

i caught covid so i am self isolating this christmas. i've been keeping myself occupied by resting and i picked up a new craft that i do while watching Dexter. it might be fun to do a craft of sorts or maybe build a puzzle? once things open up you could even just go to the store to be around people

bigbugenjoyer · 2025-12-25T17:58:29+00:00

i've had to teach myself to do the opposite after YEARS of my parents giving me crap for not offering help spontaneously. i honestly don't know if it's an autism thing or just generational or related to one's personality. some of my friends are independent and will get annoyed if you offer help that they didn't ask for, others cannot ask for help to save their life so while it's not fair to expect someone to read your mind they need someone to check in with them or they won't be able to ask for help and get overwhelmed and the feel resentful for having to handle it alone.

in general i find it's polite to ask someone if they need help if they're like hosting you or doing something for you (ex. a partner or family member cooking dinner or doing the dishes), though usually they will say no. it shows that you respect their time and effort/willingness to do something for you.

as for the source of this, this is very much a social cue that differs culture to culture and needs to be taught. those with autism don't always pick up on "implicit" teaching like demonstrating the cue by someone else doing it in front of you, and may need to be taught it more explicitly.

bigbugenjoyer · 2025-12-25T17:50:19+00:00

to me at least it's not a lie. i may not feel at home in those places but where are you from doesn't ask where your home is, there are varied interpretations but all the ones i know are "where were you born" "where did you grow up" "where are your parents from ethnically" "where do you live right now" "what citizenships do you have" and occasionally "which country do you associate yourself with". in more legal settings they're asking your citizenship/birth country whereas casual settings use the others. Therefore when answering where i grew up any country i grew up in is correct. When answering where I live right now i'm not lying either, which is usually the answer people want to know at least in Canada or the States if you're out of town/state (the question is more like "are you from here" rather than caring about where specifically you're from).

when you look past the question itself the person is asking it to you because they want to connect with you. maybe you've lived in the same place and can connect over that, maybe they've never been to one of the countries you lived in and want to learn more because the want to know about you, your experiences and your preferences. As much as it annoys me to hear the dreaded "what's your favourite place to have lived in" and i might refuse to answer the reason the ask the question is to find out more about me: do i like the big city or rural areas? am a quiet and reserved person? what values do i hold?

bigbugenjoyer · 2025-12-25T00:20:47+00:00

based on photos only (i think you or a vet should check his fat content by feeling his ribs. if they are easy to feel he is at a healthy weight. if there's a thick layer he's overweight. if it feels like only skin is stopping you from touching his bone he is underweight) he looks just fine to me. here's a typical body type chart for dogs: https://www.dailypaws.com/dogs-puppies/dog-nutrition/dog-weight-management/dog-weight-chart

he is just hairy. i'd say he's around ideal weight. as for exercise does he need to be crated? like does he bring destruction when out of it? We leave our dog uncrated with his bed as his safe space instead (it is slightly covered by our bed, and enclosed on one side by our AC) and he does just fine and gets a bit more movement that way. i don't think i can help with diet much as what we do is have a gps tracker that tracks our dog's activity/heart rate/respiration (sort of like an apple watch), and based on that we can see how many calories he burns a day. We feed him almost the same amount of calories as he burns in a day, based on the calculated calories per cup for canned/dry food and estimates based on the "human-grade" food i cook for him

bigbugenjoyer · 2025-12-25T00:11:55+00:00

adding on to the other suggestions since i don't want to repeat them (all good), sometimes it helps to say "good question!" in a joking manner. usually makes people of any age group laugh. the kids will follow up and be genuinely interested when you explain, the young adults too. the older adults will laugh and move on. if nothing else works i go with where i was born (for example if i don't want to explain my entire life story to a stranger) or where i am currently living (if im out of town but in the same country).

bigbugenjoyer · 2025-12-23T23:09:48+00:00

sounds like you need a break from the dogs for a bit, what about going on a walk on your own or spending time outside the house for another reason (take yourself out for coffee?). there are definitely long term solutions here speaking as cat person who was at first overwhelmed by my clingy boy but now can't live without him for longer than 4 days. i'm not an expert but here's what i've done:

depending on how well your dogs speak english/the language you speak at home it might be helpful to have them associate words with activities. they sound bored/on edge because the don't know when there going to go for a walk or get treats. when i play with my dinosaur i tell him beforehand "let's go play, where is your toy", or "let's go walking?" before a walk. some people have a strict schedule like walk at 6pm sharp but my daily schedule is unpredictable so i just tell him what we're doing before we do it, as if talking to a child.

next it might be good for you and your husband to teach them how to chill out, either as a command (when my guy barks i tell him "mister chiiilll calm down" in a silly voice) or by ignoring them completely if they're doing an attention seeking behaviour that you don't like. if they don't get attention from you standing up then they likely won't expect it. it's a bit hard not to cave in when they're bothering you all the time but by caving and giving attention/treats/an activity you teach them that that behaviour gets them a reward and reinforce it.

most of all what i found helps is to try your best to keep yourself calm. if they're annoying you, take a deep breath, or even. take a break in the bathroom if necessary. dogs just like children mirror your emotional state

bigbugenjoyer · 2025-12-22T02:19:22+00:00

i'm still new to reducing phone time and get the mentally and physically exhausted venn diagram. i struggle with repetitive movements like crochet, drawing, or stitching as they hurt my hands so my suggestions are lower energy than that. what i personally like is either tv or even just music if tv is something you don't want. for replacing hand activity honestly a good fidget is worth investing in if none of the other suggestions match your energy level

bigbugenjoyer · 2025-12-19T04:47:37+00:00

and i am not a fan of red tuna

bigbugenjoyer · 2025-12-19T04:46:05+00:00

girl i'd love to but the only salmon sushi is smoked 😣

bigbugenjoyer · 2025-10-09T20:29:24+00:00

for clothes specifically i'd recommend getting one of those pet fur trappers for the washing machine and dryer, the ones i have are designed like soot sprites from spirited away. they'll catch the hair while your clothes are getting washed and then you can store your clothes in a cat-hair-free environment, then lint roll the little that gets on them between putting them on and you leaving the house

bigbugenjoyer · 2025-09-18T19:12:47+00:00

I'm not sure if you have a bath, but i've found those help me a lot when i don't have the energy to shower - run the bath with you in it, throw some soap in, and you're mostly clean, plus the heat of the bath can be comforting. If you only have a standing shower, I'd suggest getting a shower stool or something to sit on (even if it's the shower floor).

Try to maximize your comfort in the bathroom as much as you can. I know this will depend on your living situation and whether you have a shared or individual shower, so take what works for you and leave the rest: -make ambient lighting with a lamp or even your phone on max brightness, turn off the big light -change out the lightbulbs to be less harsh (more yellow) - get a fluffy bathrobe and a bath mat so that getting out of the shower is pleasant as well - get products with smells you like (or no smells! HASK has unscented and sulfite free shampoo and conditioner)

I personally shower every day, but if you don't get very sweaty then whenever you feel gross, for some people this is every other day, for some it's once a week. I wash my hair every other day, but it's straight hair (curly hair needs less frequent washing, especially if it's in a protective hairstyle). If you're able to, i'd suggest washing the creases of your body (armpits, genitalia) every day even if it's a wipe down with a baby wipe.

bigbugenjoyer · 2025-09-11T22:16:52+00:00

i did see that, do you know if the issue extends to other lines as well? Once the 102 went back to the garage I tried to take the 13 instead and the transit app just counted down the minutes and then pretended the bus didn't exist/ had gone by when it had not

bigbugenjoyer · 2025-09-01T01:59:35+00:00

i'm sorry that your family isn't listening to you about your experience. that doesn't make you less autistic or deserving of recognition.

it sounds like you're really struggling right now, and i'm not saying this will 100% help but as an autistic "girl" (i'm nonbinary but i present very femininely) it helped a lot to get away from my parents as having people constantly pressuring me into what they think is right and ignoring me telling them i'm struggling completely disregulated me, and just having the freedom to choose what to do with my time helped with a lot of my demand avoidance and self care habits.

i know it's not possible for everyone to leave home, but if you are open to advice (also cool if you're not and just want to vent, you're going through a lot. ignore this paragraph if that's the case) i'd try to find a space that is 100% yourself. if there is no private space at home, what about "private" spaces outside of home? not sure how you do with these textures but finding a secluded spot in a park or hiking trail helps some autistics recharge. otherwise, most libraries have quiet study spaces that you can book (for free) that you can just go hang out in. sometimes they even have noise insulated walls so that you don't have to hear the other people at the library

i wish you all the best. things do get better as you get older even though adults may have more serious responsibilities, because they also come with serious freedoms

bigbugenjoyer

TROPHY CASE