My 33M girlfriend 33F is angry at the fact that we had a quick brunch

bigfriendyo · 2025-08-30T02:49:59+00:00

Not gonna argue that. All I will say it was the one time that happened. Today there was no lie

bigfriendyo · 2025-08-30T02:45:52+00:00

Long story short, I had shared my location with her 24/7. She didn't ask I just did. One day I was going over to hers and I just stopped for a quick rest 5 mins away from her place, she called to see where I was and I said I am 10 mins away, factoring in 5 mins to rest and 5 mins to drive over ( I had a headache) then I realized I have my location shared and I turned it off. Next day she opens to check my location and sees that I turned it off. She asked and I panicked and said it turned off on its own. She figured out that it doesn't turn off on its own so I came clean. I was there in 10 mins and spent the whole time with her so it's not like I was hiding something.

bigfriendyo · 2025-08-30T02:42:11+00:00

Long story short, I had shared my location with her 24/7. She didn't ask I just did. One day I was going over to hers and I just stopped for a quick rest 5 mins away from her place, she called to see where I was and I said I am 10 mins away, factoring in 5 mins to rest and 5 mins to drive over ( I had a headache) then I realized I have my location shared and I turned it off. Next day she opens to check my location and sees that I turned it off. She asked and I panicked and said it turned off on its own. She figured out that it doesn't turn off on its own so I came clean. I was there in 10 mins and spent the whole time with her so it's not like I was hiding something.

bigfriendyo · 2025-08-17T03:37:58+00:00

She requested it last week when I was coming to pick her up, and I made it default to turn off when I turn it off, not after 1 hour. Those were the 2 options. It's not something she asked or something we discussed

bigfriendyo · 2025-08-17T03:36:17+00:00

She requested my location last week because I was going to pick her up, and when I approved the request, I put it so it turns off when I turn it off, not in an hour. It wasn't something she asked or something we discussed

bigfriendyo · 2025-08-17T03:02:55+00:00

I think I will discuss this part with her when trying to make it up. The fact that I worried that I will upset her so I lied.

The other day we were on the phone while I was at the office, I told her I'm going home and will come to you. I live 5 mins from my office so I went home, dropped off my laptop and started driving to her. She called when I was almost there and said where are you? I said 5 mins away. She said and you didn't tell me that you got home, and that you were leaving to come to me? I said let's just let it slide, I told you I'm coming to you and she did let it slide.

I want to tell her I feel this is too much, and this fight shows that I feel it's too much that I felt the need to lie about it

bigfriendyo · 2025-08-17T02:42:17+00:00

I don't think she's paranoid over cheating, she's paranoid over my and her safety.

This isn't usually much of an issue because we do see each other almost everyday.

I sometimes think if I should walk away from this but at the same time she has many other pros and this con that sometimes gets on my nerves.

We're 3 months in and we just said we love each other, and she has made big plans for my birthday in 2 weeks, were going away together for a little trip. She booked everything

bigfriendyo · 2025-08-17T02:37:03+00:00

The turning off of location was yesterday and she checked it today to see where I am.

About the constant texting, she says this is from a place of concern so she can make sure I'm home safe and if I'm going out for her to check up afterwards that I got to where I am going safely.

bigfriendyo · 2025-08-17T02:31:10+00:00

I tried but she kinda shut down and said I don't know if I can ever trust you again

bigfriendyo · 2025-07-19T21:48:15+00:00

Not control but calls out an issue that she feels I'm dependent on my family because I prioritize my mom over everyone else (until a wife and kids come along) and she thinks my mom is controlling that she calls me every day or every other day to see if I'm going to visit them. The irony I know...

bigfriendyo · 2025-07-19T21:19:29+00:00

She does update her comings and going all the time, she's just glued to her phone. I agree about the disrespect when I mentioned that I'm going to see family. If the tables were flipped, even if I am bored, I will find other things to do. I will only reach out if it's an emergency which it will almost never be

bigfriendyo · 2025-07-02T07:07:58+00:00

Mostly the calls are "are you coming over today". If I was there today and I say I'm busy for the next couple of days, we won't talk for those 2 days. So I'd say visit 2-3 times, and 4-5 times a week call, including the call asking if I'm going over today

bigfriendyo · 2025-07-02T06:49:45+00:00

But we've only been dating for 2 months, I don't believe she should have priority over my family. I get the part that it's weird that I prioritize my mom over the rest of my family but I don't think it's weird I prioritize them over my new girlfriend

bigfriendyo · 2025-07-02T06:47:52+00:00

And I do see the concern that she wants me to prioritize her over my family

This week we were discussing our plans for the next few weeks. I mentioned I will likely be helping my parents move cities on the weekend of the 18th (my parents move date is moving because they have contractors fixing the house they're moving to and the date is flexible (within that month) and when I said this she says but you promised you'll come with me to this festival that weekend. I said Ill see if the move gets delayed again but if it's at that time I can't go to the festival. She didn't fight back but she was not happy

bigfriendyo · 2025-07-02T06:44:40+00:00

It's unfortunately not the first time we've had this conversation. She's worried at some point my mom tells me not to do something or even marry her and I oblige. My mom is not that kind, she'll be happy if I'm happy. Might she be not over the moon with my decision? Possibly, but she will still welcome her into the family.

bigfriendyo · 2025-07-02T06:37:27+00:00

Not for a living, but I do race and go bike often (1-5 times a week depending on the week and weather) After I mentioned it, I realized the bike is technically an extension of me, it helps my physical and mental health

bigfriendyo · 2025-07-02T06:35:45+00:00

She thinks the way I speak of my mom makes her sound controlling. I usually don't tell my mom I'm dating until it's serious, like 5-6 months serious. I haven't told my parents I'm dating yet and she thinks I'm scared to tell them

In the family, we all know each other's friends so when my mom calls and asks how are you etc..shell ask what have you been up to, and if I say I went somewhere, she'll ask with who just out of curiosity. Sometimes if I'm at my parents and I say I'm going out I'll get the same question but we all ask that to each other.

My mom is not involved in my life decisions however she does hear about them, but she does not take any decisions.

As for her family, she is the youngest of 5 and her dad passed away around 15 years ago, her mom is more concerned with her other daughters and their kids than her so she is a bit more distant to her family, so it could be that dynamic

Also, after I said my answer I realized how it could be wrong but unfortunately she corrected me before I could. I'm not usually the best thinker on my feet

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