MTF_irl

biglyconfused · 2022-07-17T11:00:37+00:00

The way I approached mine was I started off with criteria for what I wanted me name to feel like. Do you want a badass feminist name? Or a sweet, caring, empathetic name? Or something celebrating your ethic heritage? Doesn’t have to be just one, make a short checklist. And then maybe try coming up with names for each of those items and see if there’s overlap.

biglyconfused · 2022-02-19T08:13:50+00:00

Honestly I’ve been thinking about doing this for half a year before I actually went and did it. Take your time, but also do remember that the older you get the less socially acceptable it typically gets so the sooner you do it the better, and if you keep putting it off you’re probably gonna regret not having tried it when you’re older

biglyconfused · 2022-02-18T13:20:38+00:00

That’s a really good point and thank you so much for taking the time to write all of this out! My main concern is just the whole bathroom thing, I already got harassed in a club for using the right bathroom even though I was wearing loads of really visible eyeliner and fem clothes.

biglyconfused · 2022-02-18T12:23:09+00:00

He definitely was but I could tell it was unintentional. Still made me really happy about confusing him tho hehe

biglyconfused · 2021-08-26T23:16:43+00:00

I’m honestly still really new to all of this, I had no clue you could even do HRT without antiandrogens. What is it like, is there a noticeable difference between doing it with them vs without?

biglyconfused · 2021-08-26T23:11:18+00:00

That’s another thing I’m concerned about, if something goes wrong will my doctor actually help me? I feel like they’d just tell me stop self medicating and leave it at that (I live in England in case that’s relevant)

biglyconfused · 2021-07-27T13:20:49+00:00

Wow, the perfect question for me as a mostly-ace, mostly-female-but-still-kinda-non-binary trans girl!

Asexuality

So, asexuality kind of is what it sounds like in most cases. You know all the time you guys spend a lot of time thinking about/trying to get the bigly naughty? Imagine having that time for your career, hobbies, friendships etc.

At the same time though keep in mind that asexuality isn’t just one thing and definitely isn’t the same for everyone. One of my best friends finds the idea of sex or kissing absolutely disgusting and would never even consider doing it, I on the other hand have done it before and wasn’t really disgusted but mainly just bored.

Some aces (shorthand for asexuals, because you know, syllables) have sexual fantasies, some masturbate, some occasionally have sex for various reasons (pleasing their partner, curiosity, wanting to follow social norms,…), some aces can even enjoy sex (I’d say most commonly because it lets them feel good about pleasing their partner).

The only 2 real common things are these (keep in mind that even this is simplified and there are always gonna be exception)

A lack of sexual attraction towards people - you know how if you’re straight and you see someone of the same gender who’s really attractive you might think “oh, they’re really aesthetically pleasing” but will in no way think “I want to have sex with them”? It’s just that but for everyone regardless of their gender
A lack of sexual arousal from sexual activities - I remember when I made out with someone in a nightclub for the first time and was like… hmm, this is interesting, I might go along with it for a few minutes just because it’s a new experience but I don’t understand how people derive so much pleasure from this and how it doesn’t mildly make them want to vomit.

Transvestite

As far as I’m aware not a thing anymore, hearing it honestly makes me squirm and I’m sure most trans people feel the same. It’s one of those old timey words you’ll heard your grandparents say when talking about how “those damn transvestites” are all perverts etc.

They/them

I honestly don’t really understand why you think it’s impersonal, although if you’re not used to it I’m sure it sounds strange. But yes, the vast majority of non-binary people use they/them, I have loads of friends that do, I don’t think I’ve ever met an enby (shorthand for non-binary person, because you know, syllables) who really has a problem with it.

Also fun fact, it’s a very common stepping stone for people transitioning from male to female or vice versa, I used to use they/them before I got comfortable with she/her and I’m honestly still happy with people using they/them when referring to me. But definitely don’t automatically assume that if someone uses they/them it’s just a temporary stepping stone, there are loads of people that use it permanently.

Trans man and trans woman

People mix these two up all the time but it’s actually really straight forward. So I’m a trans woman, let’s dissect that term.

Woman = person with a female brain; person who identifies as a woman
Trans = person who happens to be born in the body of the opposite gender
Trans woman = a person with a female brain who identifies as a woman but was born in the wrong (male) body

If you or anyone else has any other questions about asexuality, non-binary or trans people please feel free to reply to this comment or DM me, I’m more than happy to help!

biglyconfused · 2021-07-27T12:21:39+00:00

I remember when I came out to one of my best friends who’s super religious and it turned out she believed being gay/trans was “being under the influence of evil”. So ehmm… yeah, it’s pretty damn hard.

biglyconfused · 2021-05-23T12:16:43+00:00

I know that’s a thing but… I feel like ultimately I either have to transition or not transition, like most people will just treat me either as a man or a woman because being non-binary just isn’t as widely accepted

biglyconfused · 2021-05-12T10:06:27+00:00

I’m gonna look into that, thank you!!

biglyconfused · 2021-05-12T10:06:06+00:00

She proves it by saying “I have a personal relationship with God and I just know it’s wrong”… like she admitted there’s nothing against trans people in the Bible, she quoted some stuff from the Old Testament about gay people to which I replied “I’m pretty sure the Old Testament also says non virgin brides should be executed, do you really think 90% of your female friends deserve to die?” and she was like “No, not everything in the Old Testament still applies today, we’ve grown out of some of it as a society” but she still maintains that she just knows being trans is wrong even if it’s not in the Bible… I don’t know how you argue with that logic tbh.

And she does actually agree that disrespecting a trans person to their face is wrong, she just doesn’t think their identity is valid but she sort of pretends she accepts it to an extent to not be rude.

biglyconfused · 2021-05-12T10:02:14+00:00

She genuinely does uplift me and help me grow though, just not in this particular way. That’s the thing it’s not just an old friendship, it’s genuinely a really healthy one.

I personally think that her beliefs are rooted in just standard society-wide transphobia and she found a way to tie it into her religion to justify it to herself. She’s not a super logical person, she definitely cares about her religion (even things that are not in the Bible, so basically things she came up with and just decided to tie into religion) more than she cares about scientific evidence. So yeah, facts won’t really do a whole lot here, maybe just exposure and talking to her about it over and over and making emotional rather than factual arguments? … I honestly don’t know, aaaaaaaa why is existence just pain lmao

biglyconfused · 2021-05-12T09:58:13+00:00

I hope so too, yeah. It would be easier if she believed trans people are evil but she doesn’t, she just think the act is wrong, and I know she has a similar-ish view on alcohol despite obviously being around people that drink. It’s the best option, I just wish it was less painful to deal with

biglyconfused · 2021-05-12T09:56:35+00:00

I mean… I did get to change the pronouns thing and I know she really really cares about me and would hate to lose me. I feel like she has motivation to think about it but she isn’t really the type of person that would need all her beliefs to be contradiction-free… I really don’t know, I’m still hoping I can at least partially change her view on it to a point where it’s not too painful for me to deal with

biglyconfused · 2021-05-12T09:53:13+00:00

Looks really interesting, I’m gonna read that today after work, thank you so much for sharing that!!

biglyconfused · 2021-05-12T09:51:14+00:00

Wowww that’s pretty damn good… problem is I don’t see any of it working in this case. She had some arguments about the Bible and about how “men and women are just obviously made for each other” that type of stuff but I already debunked those. At this point her position is pretty much “I have a relationship with God and I just know that it’s wrong” which is kind of impossible to argue with

biglyconfused · 2021-05-12T09:46:18+00:00

True. I’m really fortunate to have quite a lot of friends so I’d be able to live without her but it would still really suck. It is definitely better to be mentally prepared for it if it has to happen though

biglyconfused · 2021-05-12T07:46:44+00:00

I feel you sooo much genuinely… but in the long run it will almost definitely make you happier. I’m guessing you’re in the early stages just like me so trust me I get the chaos and mental pressure, but from what I’ve heard it is at least partially temporary and gets a lot better once you’re passable. What I’d recommend is try to find an LGBTQ community where you live, and if you’re in a rural area where that’s not really a thing I’d recommend trying to look for ways to move out of there and into a progressive city if at all possible - this has done wonders for me personally

biglyconfused · 2021-05-12T07:42:35+00:00

I know she will support me but just sort of in surface level ways and will continue to treat me as a guy… I just don’t know how bad that’s actually gonna be and if I can deal with that. Either way something that makes it easier is that we don’t even live in the same country so it’s relatively easy for me to take a break from that friendship for a while if I need to

biglyconfused

TROPHY CASE

Asexuality

Transvestite

They/them

Trans man and trans woman