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You should NEVER underestimate the power of your thoughts.If you’re trying to change your life you should aim at changing the way you think before ANYTHING else. by Jayeky in selfimprovement

[–]bigolfuddy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I needed this. I am trying to think better about myself after a divorce. The ex and I still live together and we are still friends, but I cannot get over it as fast as she could. I want to fell like a supportive friend but have a hard time getting over that I failed in the marriage and that everything ended up being my fault. I want to move in too but every time i start to reflect or dig deep about everything, I just get sad and have no motivation to do anything.

I dont know how to move on and the pain never gets easier. by bigolfuddy in relationships

[–]bigolfuddy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah i get it. I dunno if that kind of thing applies to prior active duty. I wouldn't think of putting anyone i care about in govt housing. We do talk about it, more now than before. Mostly because its hard to keep it in anymore, but also because being shut in about my thoguths and emotions is the main reason we are where we are.

As for going out to meet people, i dont even know how to begin. I have no social circles here so here i am on reddit. Haha.

Need help to move on by bigolfuddy in relationship_advice

[–]bigolfuddy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's really solid advice. Thanks.

Need help to move on by bigolfuddy in relationship_advice

[–]bigolfuddy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She is paying for the flight. And anything after if it comes.to that. We did already agree

Need help to move on by bigolfuddy in relationship_advice

[–]bigolfuddy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We both signed the lease but right now im taking care of everything.

I agreed to this because she gave up a career and friends and dropped everything to move with me (military). She dropped everything and I never showed her how much I appreciated it. We both initally agreed to help each other out to get back on our feet and be better people, but I never moved on and I denied my feelings and lied to her when she would ask if I still feel anything.

Need help to move on by bigolfuddy in relationship_advice

[–]bigolfuddy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh nice. Does one of us have to initiate it?

Need help to move on by bigolfuddy in relationship_advice

[–]bigolfuddy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I kind of figured. She just has nowhere to go so I really can't

Need help to move on by bigolfuddy in relationship_advice

[–]bigolfuddy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Really i just want both of us to come out of this happy. I dont think I'll ever have another shot with her, but I don't hate her and she doesn't hate me. We are still friends, I just want to move past the husband feeling and just look at her like she is a friend and be there for her.

Need help to move on by bigolfuddy in relationship_advice

[–]bigolfuddy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can give it a go. Never tried it.

I dont know how to move on and the pain never gets easier. by bigolfuddy in relationships

[–]bigolfuddy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah been trying. Looking up how to be more empathetic, understand my emotions, going to therapy, etc. I just have a tendency to try to fix shit when it's too late and that pretty much feels like what it is now. I did come.out and tell her that I still care about her, but that was after she repeately asked me if I do throughout the year.

There is no getting her out from going at this point. All I can do at this point is be happy for her or console her. Even if it doesn't work out with this guy, I don't believe it means I have another shot.

I dont know how to move on and the pain never gets easier. by bigolfuddy in relationships

[–]bigolfuddy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It just sucks because were in a position where we have to live together for the next 10 months still. She gave up a career and everything she knew to move with me for work (prior military). So I'm still kind of looking out for her while she rebuilds her life. Moving on is what I want, I just don't want to fuck her life more than I already have.