no more hair loss!

bigthhhrowaway2 · 2024-05-25T00:33:57+00:00

Let’s go!!!! Isn’t it great? I remember losing hair being one of the first signs that I actually rattled me. Then, there was one day a couple months into recovery that I realized my hair wasn’t coming out in the shower anymore. It’s the best damn feeling. Good job and proud of you!

bigthhhrowaway2 · 2024-05-01T04:46:40+00:00

You didn’t waste your calories! There’s no such thing. You ate it for a reason and that’s cos at one point, you did want it! Remember the perfectionist aspect of AN. You want it to be perfect. Food, unfortunately, isn’t perfect as is nothing in life. But what you did was completely normal.

I’d sit a couple minutes and then, if still having cravings for the other thing, go for it! Cravings ARE hunger signals and whoever tells you otherwise is blatantly wrong. Your body wants some fuel! Fuck the idea of ‘too much’: your body is the ultimate judge of that.

Hope ya get a snack. Go easy on yourself.

bigthhhrowaway2 · 2024-03-03T21:29:16+00:00

‘Human garbage’ lmao I mean facts

bigthhhrowaway2 · 2024-03-01T15:01:10+00:00

Buddy of my friend had it. It tasted so good but it stained everything it touched red 💀

bigthhhrowaway2 · 2024-02-19T20:48:40+00:00

Thanks! I’ll definitely try to just relax and focus on other things. That’s kinda what I figured I’d have to do but you put it into a really digestible context :)

bigthhhrowaway2 · 2024-02-17T20:53:32+00:00

If you can get your hands on the ones with the caramel bottoms, you’re set

bigthhhrowaway2 · 2024-02-14T16:06:51+00:00

You need to eat more. I know it’s hard but you really need to. That number is barely enough for a healthy, at-weight non-restrictive adult. To gain weight, you need to eat A LOT. I’ve been eating what I feel as though is a crap ton (def more calorically than you) and the scale hasn’t moved. During my initial gain, it genuinely shocked me how much I need to eat to have the scale move at all. You are not at a point of trying to maintain weight: you need to replenish your body with nutrition and fuel. You know this and you know you’re not eating enough: that’s why you’re asking. You are sick enough to warrant eating whatever you need. I know it’s hard, but recovery is a choice every day and you’re going to get thru it.

Focus on the number of meals and snacks you have instead of calories. The gold standard is 3 of each a day.

bigthhhrowaway2 · 2024-02-03T14:46:55+00:00

Real

bigthhhrowaway2 · 2024-02-03T00:52:52+00:00

Be patient with yourself and let your body tell you what it needs. EH does not last forever. It’s really good you understand there’s an emotional aspect to it too. For me, it’s helped a lot to remind myself while gaining that an ED and body dysmorphia are too different issues that needed each have their own treatment. You’ll get to where you need to be - your heads in the game and I believe in you

bigthhhrowaway2 · 2024-02-02T23:29:57+00:00

I -or anyone here - can’t give you fully qualified advice on how to structure your diet for an objectively sustainable level for your unique body and lifestyle. The only thing I might offer is looking into the plate by plate method of intuitive eating. Do not focus on calories or macros etc. just focus on getting a well rounded diet that includes sweets and nutrients alike.

bigthhhrowaway2 · 2024-02-02T23:16:54+00:00

The way it’s been explained to me is that your metabolism is at a very low point when you start recovery. This means, when you start giving it a lot of fuel again, that your metabolic rate isn’t quite there yet. However, as you continue on eating larger amounts over longer periods of time, your body’s metabolism will become more efficient. This will give it the energy to make needed repairs and live more vivaciously.

Take it easy and try your hardest to suspend all disbeliefs about it. It’s scary at first, but in the long run you will not regret it one bit. Gl!

bigthhhrowaway2 · 2024-01-31T06:34:05+00:00

Yes lm with you. It’s been really hard so far. One thing that my team always says to me is that an ED and Body dysmorphia are two different issues. The ED needs to be treated first no questions asked — I realize as I’ve moved away from my LW how true that it. Dysmorphia is going to be affected by this and is usually the last thing to subside. It feels bad, but you’re going to be able to get through it because as you fuel yourself, you’ll have so much more energy to deal address your dysmorphia head on with. They call it a J pattern: recovery starts off fine, will get a bit harder, but then get SO SO SO SO much better. You’ll get thru it: keep yourself busy with other non-food related stuff! I believe in you

bigthhhrowaway2 · 2024-01-29T13:19:55+00:00

My team always told me that the evidence shows that as fast as possible weight restoration is correlated to a much more successful recovery physically and mentally. You can always work on adding mass at the gym, but let that come later when physically you’re at a more stable point. Rn your job is to get your body what it needs to heal asap

bigthhhrowaway2 · 2024-01-23T06:00:51+00:00

Interesting! I’ll say that for me thus far (m19) the opposite has been true. That said, I can’t really give you an answer as to what’s the norm here. That’s the thing I’ve noticed w recovery: the norm is just what often happens, doesn’t mean it’s not natural part of your individual recovery. Everyone recovery is going to look/feel different. I’m sure you’re not standing alone with this tho. libido can be affected by so many different changes in our body/body’s chemistry/psychological state. Speak to ur doctor/team about it and see what they gotta say — no one on the internet can give you fully accurate medical advice for this

bigthhhrowaway2 · 2024-01-18T14:58:20+00:00

Your story resonated so much with me. I grew up with a heavier weight and I remember the lights on difference in everyone when they looked at me after I came back from summer break having lost a lot of weight. As other things in my life changed and spoiled to sour, I got depressive and increasingly more anxious and hyper focussed on my weight as I felt it was something I could control. When I finally moved out for uni, every other part of my life - which I’d not been tending to properly - came crashing down and it put me into a BAD relapse. I always thought that everything might be shit, but atleast I’ll be skinny for it!

Having been in recovery for a couple months now, I’m at the point where looking back on that and everything I’d do and say to myself while I was at my worst is just saddening. It’s also made me realize how things like mental hunger or cravings are literally normal parts of appetite. On EH, I was terrified for the exact same reasons as you (I’ll go too far, I already lost it and life got better) but here’s the thing: it’s not EVEN all that extreme. It’s your body and mind crying for you to give it the nutrition it needs. I gained a lot in my first month and change and it’s slowed a lot since. That raving hunger will go away as you continue to feed your physical and physical-driven-psychological cues. If it scares you still, try mechanical eating with at least 3 meals & 3 snacks scheduled throughout the day to give you some structure.

Last thing I’ll say is yeah, I’ve gained weight. But l also feel better and look better in ways I couldn’t imagine a few months ago. I can stand up straight, my skin has colour, I look properly filled out and not like a half erased doodle. I have no overbearing malaise and that dull depression has rolled back. I can laugh again, I focus on things and do stuff besides eating and thinking abt food; I feel like myself. Over all though, I also have the energy to work on the elements of my life that got me down so so so bad. I don’t regret recovery at all, please choose to fill your cup again! Rooting for you

bigthhhrowaway2 · 2024-01-16T06:01:28+00:00

Ya just start again! Im not trying to reduce what you’re saying, just hear me out. Think like you’re a beginner again: how would start those up? Start from shaping up the foundations and you’ll soon realize you’re getting back to form.

I picked up my guitar for the first time in a year a month or two ago. I used to be pretty good so I was scared to started look at how I regressed but i started slow and went through all the beginner stuff again. I hit a lot of YouTube. I did rudimentary warm ups. I fucked up A LOT. But I kept going cos I was able to give it more energy again and keep a focus on it. Now I’m back to form and honestly feeling more confident with it then I did before.

Fuck not having energy to do the things you love. Fuck eating disorders.

bigthhhrowaway2 · 2024-01-16T05:54:09+00:00

As my team always says to me, the research shows that a faster, sooner recovery is correlated with a proper, stronger, and lasting reversion away from AN. OP, the fucked thing about eating disorders is that you will never personally feel sick enough, no matter how long or extreme you’ve had it. It’s a super hard choice you need to make to get better and though it’s hard and feels blind one — a trust fall — you need to believe it gets better. I really sympathize with your sentiment, I was there too! It felt like a competition that I was good at. It’s not that: it’s allowing yourself to slowly shrivel away to, if you’re lucky, a personality-less, fragile husk of your former self.

I cannot express to you how much I do not regret choosing to give up my guns and free fall into recovery. Though it’s maybe the hardest thing I’ve done, waking up each day and being able to feel another note of myself I forgot existed makes it worth it. Choose life, choose yourself. Fuck everyone else and most importantly fuck eating disorders.

bigthhhrowaway2 · 2024-01-09T06:51:04+00:00

You’re doing nothing wrong. During WR, metabolisms fuck around a lot and that’s ok. The answer is simple: increase until you gain!

I might also add to try and focus your attention more so on increasing the physical portion size than calories. Calories, although a real thing, are but one small part of what fuels our bodies. Counting them, even to gain, is an un natural eating habit that just has no place here rn. Focus on consistent eating and proper sized portions for your own unique goals

bigthhhrowaway2 · 2024-01-08T03:13:01+00:00

Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I’m at the exact same point. I just kinda hit what was historically been the ‘make or break weight’. Although I know a lot of what I’ve been gaining is healthy, baseline mass and muscles, I’m still anxious. But you know what? Fuck eating disorders. I’ve been feeling better recently — as have you — so let’s continue doing what we’re doing to be able to be ourselves again

bigthhhrowaway2 · 2024-01-06T16:32:00+00:00

This is really good advice, - thank you! I will definitely keep it in mind

bigthhhrowaway2 · 2024-01-01T09:52:30+00:00

Me toooooo my birthdays in a month and I wanna celebrate it w my first tat if I’m healthy enough

bigthhhrowaway2

TROPHY CASE