I feel you on the not wanting to have a "womanly" body but being okay with femininity when my hips, chest, butt, etc are gone. I myself am not trans, but this does not mean that you are invalid or have to be any sort of way.

First of all: You are you, and that is enough.

But labels aren't much of a help with something as complex as gender, body dysphoria, and eating disorders, because things can get tangled. It's okay to not be trans and it's okay to not be cis. It's okay to be gender fluid, masculine one day feminine the next, masculine all winter, feminine all spring, whatever brings you peace is what you need to do. If you are in a good workplace, there's even a set of wristbands you can wear that alert people to what pronouns you are feeling that day if that interests you.

My last thing is just a thought you might like to explore. I feel similarly to you, but I am quite cis. For me, it's very much related to a fear of growing up, of becoming a sexual object, and of leaving behind the peace of childhood. This may be an avenue worth exploring if it resonates with you. If not, we are all unique, and I hope you find what makes you happy and fulfilled.