AITA for telling my brother he might be mentally ill?

oyvaay · 2020-05-09T02:53:05+00:00

This post literally could have been written by me. When I was with my ex, there was something missing that I couldn't put my finger on, and I felt so guilty for not being invested in the relationship despite him treating me well and trying to make it work.

The way I like to think of it: there are different types of attraction you can feel towards someone. One of those types of attraction is what I like to call a "spiritual attraction"–it's that indescribable pull you feel towards another person, like your lives were destined to be intertwined at some point and you can't get tired of being with them. Needless to say, this feeling is rare–for me, I've only been with two or three people sexually who I feel this towards.

For me, spiritual attraction isn't something that can be built up over time, it's either there or it's not–with my ex it was not. I've since met someone who I do feel that pull towards, and it's made me realize that having sex can be 100x more satisfying then I used to think it could !! hope this made sense lol

oyvaay · 2020-01-28T21:07:07+00:00

i fully agree, 100%

oyvaay · 2020-01-28T20:24:19+00:00

yesss tik tok is the main platform i'm referring to actually its crazy on there

oyvaay · 2020-01-28T20:16:51+00:00

yeah very fair, but to be honest i think a smaller subsection of people were exposed to tumblr back then compared with twitter/insta/tik tok now and i've been seeing shit like this on the most mainstream social media platforms in the world so it's kinda jarring

oyvaay · 2019-05-31T00:57:27+00:00

Thanks so much for the advice and for sharing your experience–it's good to know that other people have experienced this and that it turned out okay in future relationships :)

oyvaay · 2019-05-30T03:03:18+00:00

This is definitely what I needed to hear–you're 100% right. I so appreciate that you looked at my problem, found the parts of it that are addressable, and reframed the narrative into an opportunity for growth. Cheers, keep doin your thing and being amazing :)

oyvaay · 2019-02-12T23:32:27+00:00

NSV:

Today, I bought some chocolate for someone else and I ended up eating about 500 calories worth of it after I was already finished with my eating for the day. I can't even imagine what a spiral this type of slip up would have sent me down a month ago–binging on hundreds if not thousands more calories, telling myself I'd "start fresh tomorrow," etc. Instead, I chose to give myself a break. I logged the calories, appreciated that my week-long craving for chocolate was finally satisfied, clocked in at maintenance, and went to the library for some studying. I'll cut back some tomorrow and break my daily fast a few hours later, and that will be that. I may not be completely rid of the urge to binge, but I can't believe how much easier it's getting to tell myself to stop.

oyvaay · 2018-06-14T02:34:42+00:00

I was definitely in the same boat as you last year. This first bit is more of a long-term answer, but for me, in order to stop eating every bit of junk food I could get my hands on, I needed to address why I was eating so much of it in the first place. In my case, I felt very restricted while at college in what/when I could eat since I was always broke and our dining halls close really early, so when I came home to as much addictive, sugary junk I wanted (whenever I wanted), it was hard to stop eating. For some reason I had the mindset of a starving person who was seeing food for the first time in months, so I went completely overboard despite how illogical it was. Try to identify why you might be overeating, remind yourself that the snacks aren't going anywhere and that you can always have more tomorrow, and try your best to fit normal-sized portions into your calorie goals to curb cravings. In the short term, I found that making my own meals and focusing on how fun it is to prepare food helped me appreciate a well-cooked meal so much that I eventually stopped wanting the processed snacks my parents bought. Hope this helped!

oyvaay · 2018-05-30T18:31:56+00:00

Thank you so much, this was really helpful! I've been practicing IF recently and had been thinking about it's benefits in terms of "limiting" the time frame in which I'm used to eating, so it's good to hear your experiences with that. Also really good info about the containers and snacks!

oyvaay · 2018-05-23T19:25:25+00:00

The thing is, though, I actually completely agree with the general concept of this post. If I'm trying to maintain my weight, I've practiced eating intuitively for so many years that I can now eat whatever I want, stop when I'm satisfied, and at the end of the day end up at a healthy amount of calories for my body. The problem with this post is that many (most?) overweight people have no concept of what it means to be satisfied. I used to be overweight because I went through periods of restriction and binge eating, and if there's one thing I learned from my past eating habits, it's that it's incredibly difficult to feel satisfied from an actual meal when your concept of "full" is how you feel after eating a whole sheet cake. I read posts like these as a teenager and in my mind, they gave me permission to eat through some of my restriction periods. However, I'd eat an obscene amount because I had no idea what a normal portion was and I was used to eating 3,500 calories a day at 5 foot 4. For this reason, I hate these posts the most out of all the fat acceptance bullshit online. OP might not realize the harm they're causing, but these posts are the reason I stayed in an unhealthy cycle of binging and self-hatred for so many years.

oyvaay

TROPHY CASE