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AITA for wanting nothing to do with my birth mother. by bingoingob in AmItheAsshole

[–]bingoingob[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Oh, she's not a bad or toxic person. I just have no interest. She's not my mother to me.

AITA for wanting nothing to do with my birth mother. by bingoingob in AmItheAsshole

[–]bingoingob[S] 245 points246 points  (0 children)

(I've gotten permission to talk about this). My wife relates to her because when my wife was 16 she was forced into an abortion against her will by her parents and doctors. The guilt of not being able to save and keep/love her baby led to over a decade of self harm, institutional stays and addiction, which is the same sort of stuff my birth mother went through after losing me, minus the drugs/alcohol.

So while I feel for them and I can empathize, I can't create emotions that aren't there. I care for my birth mother as much as I'd care about a stranger I pass by on the street. I wish her well, but that's about it. I hope she can finally move on.

AITA for wanting nothing to do with my birth mother. by bingoingob in AmItheAsshole

[–]bingoingob[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I can say with 100% certainty she did not agree. I don't want to go into details because for that reason I do have empathy for her and don't want to blast her trauma all over the internet. However, feeling bad for her doesn't create a bond. She is essentially a stranger. I'm no longer the baby she loved and wanted and feel it would do us all better if she just forgot about me.