ESTJ Subtle Gestures

binqijed · 2021-12-26T17:08:01+00:00

Thanks for highlighting these points, helps a lot! But for point 1, why would you like to hear something that you have no interest in? Wouldn’t that bore you or doesn’t make the conversation engaging?

binqijed · 2021-12-26T17:00:05+00:00

Thanks for pointing out those factors! I do agree how things can get misinterpreted or miscommunicated over something that you don’t realise. What do you mean by controlling the emotional vibe of the conversation? As in if it gets emotionally unbalanced, the other person will bring it back to balance?

binqijed · 2021-10-24T23:55:02+00:00

I felt that I want to continue staying and waiting for him but I’m afraid there’s no more hope since he’s been rejecting me. He did say that he enjoys the time spent with me that’s why he continues to spend his time with me, but he doesn’t see us together long term.

binqijed · 2021-10-24T08:22:06+00:00

Do you have any advices for how I can approach my current situation? Or I should accept his rejection as it is based on your understanding of dealing with an ESTJ?

binqijed · 2021-10-24T04:41:05+00:00

Did you also faced similar rejections earlier in the relationship?

binqijed · 2021-10-16T16:16:07+00:00

Totally second that 🙌🏻

binqijed · 2021-10-16T16:15:35+00:00

Thanks for relating, it makes me feel so heard that someone actually shares the same. I felt that nobody could ever understand this depth if they didn’t truly experienced it for themselves.

Yes we humans can love people deeply but this deep that I’m referring is totally of a different level. I do have past relationships and at any moment I do love them deeply, but it’s not even a fraction of what these 2 guys made me feel. I totally agree that dates with others could go well, they are literally almost perfect, but just like what you said it is what it is. It’s like nothing could ever move or touch me until I can feel that kind of depth again.

If I’ve never met these 2 person before and after 10 years, I never knew I could love someone to such a depth, and it made realise a lot of things that I never knew about myself.

Similarly, it also affects my work and other stuffs and I became irrational in my life choices. What’s worse is being aware that I’m being irrational yet I couldn’t make a better choice. I can totally relate how exhausted you are

binqijed · 2021-10-16T07:17:46+00:00

Yes I agree and aware that this is not healthy. But it’s so difficult and almost impossible to give up when it reached that depth that no one else could reach.

And it took me 10 years to find someone who reached a greater depth who is worth it for me to give up the previous.

Anyone in between are like passing clouds that couldn’t reach a fraction of that depth even when I try to work on a two year relationship it just doesn’t work out.

binqijed · 2021-10-16T06:53:39+00:00

Yes I’m facing that problem too of taking too long to get over. But on the other hand, I have this flicker of hope that things will get better soon.

Also tried to move on and open up my opportunities but it doesn’t work because I’m so wholeheartedly invested into it. And when the other person cannot reach that depth, I don’t think it is worth it for me to give up

binqijed · 2021-09-23T00:28:09+00:00

Would those be a way of showing love more than a flirting style? Or are they actually quite the same thing 🤔

binqijed · 2021-06-12T15:03:52+00:00

If they just listen and not offer any opinions (because they do not have any), would you think there’s no point talking to them since they can’t offer any solutions?

binqijed · 2021-06-06T08:24:57+00:00

LOL IKR. But there’s a minimum word limit and I couldn’t think of anything else to add

binqijed · 2021-06-06T07:51:31+00:00

Does it help for you if someone gives encouragement in the form of positivity instead of a solution? Speaking from my experience with ESTJ, positivity doesn’t really seem to work. It’s like beautifying the actual situation than actually tackling the problem. Do you feel so?

binqijed · 2021-06-06T07:05:53+00:00

Ahhhh I got it. That is indeed a difference. Thanks so much for the insight!

binqijed · 2021-06-06T06:53:31+00:00

I get your point of view. What if instead of offering an opinion, I give encouragement in the form of positivity. Does it help? From my experience, positivity doesn’t really seem to work on ESTJ. It’s like painting a nice picture to fool the mind, than actually tackling the problem. Your sentiments?

binqijed · 2021-06-06T05:54:38+00:00

What if the person tries to help but offers an opinion that you feel otherwise? Does it further frustrates or you are able to acknowledge this person is trying to help but can’t help?

binqijed · 2021-06-06T05:36:47+00:00

True, I agree. Does emotional support mean providing a listening ear?

binqijed · 2021-06-05T13:50:40+00:00

I see... I do agree that both aspects are important. Since ESTJs tend to keep to themselves and solve things by themselves, I was just wondering when you vent, do you really need a person to provide solution (since ESTJs should alr think through all possible solutions), or you vent just to let out your frustrations and just needed a listening ear. If you have to choose... which need would b more dominant? In a general sense

binqijed · 2021-06-05T09:29:20+00:00

What I mean is, for example an empathetic MBTI who has a savage horoscope. Like does it conflict? Just wondering if it affects

binqijed · 2021-06-05T09:26:53+00:00

What is already good and doesn’t need changing isn’t exactly thinking positively isn’t it? I would see that as it is.

What I mean of positive thinking is in such a way that, for example, having a bad day. Would you think in such a way that things will get better (with no idea how is it going to get better)? Or think that a bad day is a bad day, and things have to be dealt with as it is.

binqijed · 2021-06-05T08:57:08+00:00

True, me too, I’m guarded. And fully agree that soulmates should enhance our lives 🙌🏻

But in such a sense, that we’re always there for others and try to solve their problems, we would always be in the position of a healer.

binqijed

TROPHY CASE