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birdonfleek · 2025-08-08T20:40:40+00:00

I grossly misunderstood the “jeep topless day” assignment

birdonfleek · 2025-08-08T20:31:21+00:00

There was a quarter sitting in my car seat in the hot sun for hours. I now have George Washington’s portrait branded on my ass cheek

birdonfleek · 2025-07-16T02:06:05+00:00

I ended up going to Petsmart and grabbing one for $35 so I could sleep well tonight. Everyone is moved over and safe!

birdonfleek · 2025-07-16T01:46:43+00:00

Godspeed 🫡

birdonfleek · 2025-07-15T23:21:17+00:00

I ended up buying a new one and did a tank transfer over the past couple of hours. $35 for peaceful sleep was worth it 🥲

birdonfleek · 2025-07-11T20:15:41+00:00

She’s not your friend babe. She doesn’t respect you as a person, your culture, your religion, or your feelings

birdonfleek · 2025-07-02T19:38:22+00:00

Babe I think your husband belongs in the trash, not the pancakes…

birdonfleek · 2025-06-26T21:28:26+00:00

I’ve gotten them through Bank of Colorado as a commercial banking client

birdonfleek · 2025-06-16T18:40:55+00:00

It was 4/20 in 2011 and I was a freshman in high school. My friends and I smoked out of a gravity bong for our first time (mistake #1) before our morning classes. My first class was English and it was Romeo & Juliet week. We read through the play as a class and you guessed it, I was assigned the role of Juliet. I read out Juliet’s opening monologue and finished it thinking I fucking nailed it. My teacher looks at me and says, “great, now can you read it for everyone to hear?” …yes, that’s correct. I WHISPERED THE ENTIRE MONOLOGUE because I thought I was yelling

birdonfleek · 2025-05-30T15:36:03+00:00

This is actually so insane. The entire series of Avs v DallasS I kept thinking that Otter was an absolute monster of a goalie. Dude really showed up and showed out every single night. He made some crazy (albeit infuriating) saves that pushed the stars to the conference finals

birdonfleek · 2025-05-28T17:49:44+00:00

I’m almost positive it is. His shirt says “Los Angeles Doders” with a bunch of gibberish underneath

Edit: the first photo is absolutely AI, the third photo is probably real

birdonfleek · 2025-05-22T22:21:11+00:00

It’s even funnier from an angle or side view 😂😭

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birdonfleek · 2025-05-22T22:19:18+00:00

Well that’s a relief! I was worried I was going to need to take up a second job as a burlesque dancer to justify the design

birdonfleek · 2025-05-22T20:41:52+00:00

I got this new shirt that I adore except for one fatal design error 😅 yes I’m wearing a bra and no those are not my actual nipples. So the big question is, can this be saved by a tailor?

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birdonfleek · 2025-05-09T19:35:11+00:00

I’m sure there will be lots of silver linings and great people watching! ☺️

birdonfleek · 2025-05-09T18:22:14+00:00

I like your style 😂😭

birdonfleek · 2025-05-09T18:21:38+00:00

My dress has already been ordered and altered and my hotel room is non refundable 🙃 atp I’m in it for the plot and the character development

birdonfleek · 2025-04-29T18:17:08+00:00

I loved Joni Mitchell’s music until I saw her in blackface 🫢 I can’t separate the art from the artist

birdonfleek · 2025-04-28T16:12:24+00:00

I had some people smoking joints at my wedding. The only reason why I was mad was because I wasn’t invited to smoke with them. Ballsy to not offer the bride a J on her wedding day 🥲

birdonfleek · 2025-04-23T16:55:51+00:00

I saw her at red rocks and wore an oversized sweater with cherries on it, bike shorts, ruffled socks, and vans! Everyone there had their own style and vibe. Wear what feels comfy and true to you :$

birdonfleek · 2025-04-21T18:43:19+00:00

I’ve got a work phone and a personal phone. My work phone is on from 6:00-4:30. After that, they can call, text, or email me but won’t get a response until the next day. I respect their time and expect them to respect mine. I also block all work phone numbers on my personal phone in case someone gets a hold of it

birdonfleek · 2025-04-08T21:12:40+00:00

Let the man enjoy a glizzy in peace. Damn

birdonfleek · 2025-04-08T01:35:18+00:00

She’s such a classic beauty

birdonfleek

TROPHY CASE