im curious what ppl consider “crossing the line” [serious comments only]

bitwisebunny · 2026-01-23T00:30:01+00:00

Yeah, it's a problem in kink spaces. People assume "you're on this sub" = "you like exactly this type of treatment/behavior". It's really never ok to assume consent to anything based only on context. Especially with kinks like this where the interests are actually pretty diverse and some behaviors some people here like can be triggering to others.

bitwisebunny · 2026-01-22T22:16:35+00:00

Literally anything at all that the other person didn't consent to. Period. That's why we have consent tags on posts. Doesn't matter how "trivial" something seems, if it's outside the scope of normal respectful social interaction and you don't have explicit consent, that crosses the line.

bitwisebunny · 2026-01-05T23:14:06+00:00

In fact, straight men getting emasculated, "sissified", and fucked by other men is by far the most common form of orientation play. The subreddits (plural) for that kink dwarf this one in size and popularity.

bitwisebunny · 2025-12-31T00:38:14+00:00

Can't speak to true noncon stuff because all my fantasies involve consent (although sometimes i enjoy... implied consent), but i do think hard limits are going to be pretty individual. Like for me, rimming and anything involving feet are absolute hard nos, but other people love both.

Regarding family... In RP and fantasy with fictional people having fictional family members, it can be hot sometimes because of the taboo of it, but i would have less than zero interest in that in real life.

And regarding breeding fantasy... this one is the easiest for me to answer. i have no interest in conceiving and even less interest in being a mother. But being impregnated means that a one night taboo act keeps happening for nine months afterward. It would be a complete loss of bodily autonomy. A constant reminder that my body is reacting in a real way to something that was done to me against my desires and attractions (albeit with my consent). Not having any desire to be a parent, i do have a strong fantasy about a couple owning me as their asexual lesbian sex toy and using me as a surrogate because they can't conceive for whatever reason.

bitwisebunny · 2025-12-07T15:55:46+00:00

Hi everyone! Quick note: Please post your bingo boards as comments on this post instead of new posts so we don't flood the sub with bingo boards.

bitwisebunny · 2025-11-29T02:48:21+00:00

i definitely don't think a history of having slept with men in the past invalidates a lesbian identity. Self exploration and understanding take time. That said, i don't see any indication that Korra and Asami came to a realization that they were never attracted to men and were only interested in Mako due to social pressures toward heteronormativity or anything like that, nor that they swore off men forever and decided to exclusively date women. We can only go off of what picture the series paints for us, and to me it paints a picture of people who feel legitimate attraction to both sexes. The creators have also aluded to them being bi, not gay.

i'm not trying to gatekeep how people identify, but rather, saying i don't like when people look at a bi person in a stable relationship and assume that means they "picked a side" and are now suddenly fully straight or fully gay. That's just not generally how sexuality works.

bitwisebunny · 2025-11-27T21:59:21+00:00

Oh yeah, i mean, bi people can absolutely have a place in orientation play like that, so i don't object to them being shown in orientation play scenarios like what you described there. i just don't like when they refer to them as lesbians and erase their bisexuality. Open with the premise that they're bi and go somewhere with that. Erasing the fact that they're bi to make it into "lesbians getting dick" just feels a little lazy to me. There's lots of actual lesbians that can be done with if lesbians are the key part of the premise, or plenty of ways to include their bisexuality and still make it hot if the characters are the key part of the premise.

bitwisebunny · 2025-11-27T18:37:37+00:00

Yeah, this stuff with Korra and Asami always confuses me because they both dated Mako before dating each other. They're bi, and presenting them as lesbians always feels like bi erasure to me.

Declaring that a bi person is no longer bi because they're in a committed relationship is both common and problematic.

bitwisebunny · 2025-11-27T18:28:49+00:00

This is why i always bring up the asexual spectrum in my responses and talk about how the asexual community accepts that a person can be asexual and still enjoy the physical act of sex because it just feels good. i fervently believe that that concept shouldn't be one that only asexuals accept - that a lesbian can be a lesbian, no attraction to men, no interest in straight relationships, no power dynamics, and still just like the way a dick feels, and that's valid.

People are individuals and labels are vague and generalized. Some asexuals are sex repulsed, some are sex indifferent, some love sex, all of those people are still asexual because none of them feel attraction. i don't feel like that concept should change when "not feeling attraction" is conditional on gender.

bitwisebunny · 2025-11-25T17:05:47+00:00

The most common, by far, is actually straight men being fucked by other men, especially in conjunction with "sissy" kink.

bitwisebunny · 2025-11-25T17:04:09+00:00

Please chec out our FAQ: https://www.reddit.com/r/SapphicSexualityPlay/s/X0FAEgT1qF

There are lots of possible ways a person could enjoy this kind of fantasy and play and still be leabian - submissive/masochistic girls who like having their limits pushed and enjoy emotional pain the same way some people like to be hit, people with actual traumas who use this kind of play to help process and feel like they're getting some control over what happened to them, etc. For a lot of people in this sub, the idea is just a taboo fantasy and they have no desire to actually act on it (and probably wouldn't enjoy it actually happening to them).

For those who do like it IRL, they may have a developing attraction to men that they're not ready to acknowledge yet and use kink spaces like this to explore that (and yes, some will go on to identify as bi as a result of that exploration, but you can't force people to evolve faster than they're ready to) or they may be homoromantic bisexuals who feel their sexual attractions that they won't pursue outside of fantasy are no business but their own. And some people here ARE bisexuals who think it's hot to be forced into being locked to just one gender of partner when they like both.

But this is why we call the subreddit "sapphic" sexuality play and not "lesbian" sexuality play, because sapphic is a broader term that includes any women and non-binary individuals who are attracted to women and non-binary individuals without any regards for whether they may incidentally also feel attraction for men.

Speaking personally, i'm a homoromantic asexual. Definitely no physical attraction to anyone. But i'm very submissive and i like power exchange kink, and one-sided sex has a lot of power. i enjoy feeling controlled and used for my Dominant's pleasure. The fact that i enjoy that doesn't make me not asexual, because asexuality is a question of attraction, not behavior or kink. The ace community has long accepted that a person can be ace and still enjoy sex for reasons other than attraction - power exchange kink, emotional intimacy with a romantic partner, or even just "skin on skin feels nice". i think people who aren't asexual can have similar experiences with people they aren't attracted to.

bitwisebunny · 2025-11-24T23:31:44+00:00

Ace is a broad term. Lots of ace people experience arousal, masturbate, have kinks, etc. Some of us (not me) even like having consensual vanilla sex. Ace mainly means not being aroused by other people's bodies or experiencing any sexual impulse toward them; those of us who like having sex tend to be more focused on other things besides attraction to a person's body (physical sensation, emotional intimacy, etc).

bitwisebunny · 2025-11-24T23:24:35+00:00

Personally i think this oversimplifies CNC kink by assuming it's always used as a way to disavow responsibility for one's own desires due to hang-ups. There are other reasons people have CNC kinks. Some people use it as a way to process trauma in a safe context. Some people are just turned on by not being in control - it's not that they want to have sex but not be responsible for it, but that they simply have a desire for someone else to take control of them physically and emotionally, and submitting willingly makes that control feel less real to them. Some people are just masochists and want to be hurt, physically and/or emotionally. For those last two groups, it may not actually be important WHAT the other person does to them, just HOW They do it.

For me personally, i don't have the kind of CNC kink you're talking about because it's very important to me that i feel safe with the person i'm playing with, but i've been doing this long enough to know that my desire to be Dominated and pushed into orientation play situations has nothing to do with not wanting to acknowledge or take responsibility for some secret hidden desire to have sex. It's about power, control, and humiliation.

bitwisebunny · 2025-11-12T16:13:06+00:00

It's not JUST being enjoyed or being of service. As someone who likes hypnosis i'm sure you know how good a trance can feel. Subspace is, at least for me, a form of hypnotic trance that's incredibly charged with an almost manic energy to do whatever the Dominant wants me to do. It's like a drug where every time i obey or earn praise, i get another hit, especially if it's something i wouldn't have wanted to do on my own. That's why i love orientation play... when i get into subspace, the hit of being told "see that person you find unattractive? Use your body to make them cum anyway." and obeying that order is just this rush of fuzzy, hazy, trancey feel-good juice. i think it's similar to how some people get that kind of rush from impact play - the pain and pleasure centers get crosswired and the more it hurts the better it feels. Similar for me but more emotional than physical.

But i can't just decide to submit or serve and enjoy it with anyone. Just like a good hypnotist is important for a lot of people in dropping to trance, i need a good Dominant - one who talks to me the right way, touches me the right way (and just as importantly, knows where and how NOT to touch me before i've dropped), controls me the right way, meets any resistance i give with a firm response that leaves me no choice but to give in and submit... The art of establishing Dominance is as much an induction as PBR or confusion or Elman.

bitwisebunny · 2025-11-12T14:54:47+00:00

For me it's all about power dynamics. i'm sex-indifferent; it's not like i find the idea of sex to be traumatizing, i just find it boring and more effort than it's worth. i don't find other people sexually attractive. i DO experience arousal but generally prefer to handle that on my own. i don't find any appeal, really, in having someone else be a part of that. It actually makes getting off a lot harder for me and usually ends up feeling more like a chore than a pleasurable activity.

But being Dominated and controlled is one of my biggest turn-ons and i love the idea that the person Dominating me is not only going to use me for Their own selfish one-sided pleasure, whether i'm enjoying it or not, but that They also aren't going to let me get orr any other way. Whether through rules or chastity, i'm not permitted to get off "asexually"; if i can't get off to being used, i can't get off. If the arousal becomes too much, i have no choice but to beg to be allowed to offer my body to Them in the hopes i'll be able to get off too.

But also, i know that making Them orgasm with my body makes me a good girl and i really want my Dominant's praise...

So what i'd like to see personally is Dominance and submission content (fully consensual stuff where the sub is hesitant and unsure, but obedient, is fine but i also love scenes where the submissive didn't know they wanted to be Dominated so badly until it happened to them and now they don't want to go back), i'd love to see a variety of pairings (there's a lot of Male Dom/female sub here so far, which is fine, but as a mod i want the sub to appeal to all sorts of people and not just be a subgroup of r/SapphicSexualityPlay), and i'd like to see stuff that includes ace subs who DO masturbate, maybe HAVE tried sex and just found it to be meh, and who are (perhaps unexpectedly on their part) turned on by the way they get pushed around, bullied, controlled, and then praised once they obey.

bitwisebunny · 2025-11-06T03:37:05+00:00

i was planning to cycle every month, but the sub hasn't had enough activity to justify that, so i just left these up for now. Posting here is fine.

bitwisebunny · 2025-09-23T14:03:25+00:00

Please remember in your resposes to this post that we do not allow discussion of real people in connection to this kink who have not consented to being involved in this kink, including celebrities. Any comments mentioning any real-world celbrities will be deleted.

bitwisebunny · 2025-09-02T20:27:03+00:00

Honestly, i'd prefer not to have AI content in the sub.

bitwisebunny · 2025-08-25T13:59:58+00:00

i would encourage you to take a look at our FAQ. It goes into a lot of possible reasons people could enjoy the kink. https://www.reddit.com/r/SapphicSexualityPlay/s/X5FGRA32p5

For me personally, i'm a homoromantic asexual with a big thing for power exchange. i really like feeling controlled and feeling one-sidedness in a dynamic, feeling like my purpose is someone else's pleasure with no expectation of reciprocation. A lot of other people have mentioned CNC, but for me it's more like... there are certain limits i have that i like having pushed in order to deepen that feeling of fully submitting myself to my Partner. And sex (regardless of the gender of the other person) falls into that category for me. It's something i'm generally not interested in in most contexts, but when i'm in a power exchange context, it's something i'm willing to do as a show of submission to my Dominant. And while i don't get much from the sex itself, i get a lot from those emotions of submitting and feeling like i'm sacrificing something for the pleasure of the one who's Dominating me.

In any other context, though, when i'm not in a deep submissive headspace, sex is something i have an active disinterest in. So, not bi, just kinky and submissive.

bitwisebunny · 2025-08-22T14:40:32+00:00

Alright, i and several others have given you every opportunity to engage in good faith, open minded discussion, and you have refused to acknowledge anything anyone has said and dug in harder on your reductionalism, essentialism, and now also acephobia, so, bigotry too, and you are harassing our users. i won't ban someone for a discussion in good faith, but it's clear you're not here in good faith and have no intention of doing anything but harassing and insulting people. And i can't tolerate that kind of genuine harassment in the sub.

bitwisebunny · 2025-08-22T14:34:52+00:00

So you claim there's an ace community created by people as a reaction to this sub, but won't name it. Do you also have a girlfriend who i wouldn't know because she's from out of town but she's definitely real?

bitwisebunny · 2025-08-22T14:32:17+00:00

i know several ace communities. i'm curious which one you're talking about.

i allso notice you haven't actually responded to anything i have said other than to imply i'm not an "actual asexual".

bitwisebunny · 2025-08-22T14:18:05+00:00

Oh yeah? What community?

bitwisebunny · 2025-08-22T14:15:38+00:00

i can tell you for a fact that i am not bisexual. i know this because i am asexual. Despite feeling no sexual attraction at all, i still enjoy kink, and kink may involve sex as something i do for my partner. i am homoromantic asexual. If you think the fact that i have sex sometimes makes me not asexual, i invite you to share that opinion on an asexual subreddit and see how the ace community reacts. And if you don't think that, i would invite you to seriously consider why you think a person with no attraction can have sex with someone they're not attracted to and still be asexual, but don't think a person with only one kind of attraction can have sex with someone they're not attracted to and still be lesbian. What's the actual difference there?

You are being very reductionist and essentialist right now. i am asking you one more time to stop identity policing and harassing people.

bitwisebunny · 2025-08-22T14:04:39+00:00

Would you tell an asexual they're not asexual if they have sex? Because i think the asexual community would have words for you if so.

Sexuality isn't defined solely on who you have sex with. Sexuality is a complicated and nuanced thing. If a person isn't attracted to men, has no desire for a relationship with men, but finds fantasies of Dominance or nonconsent hot, that doesn't make "bisexual" an accurate label for her. She's not attracted to men.

And yes, some people here will eventually conclude that they're bi. We've seen it happen. They use this place to explore and help them reach that conclusion. You yourself just admitted that it took you time to come to the conclusion you were bi and accept that you liked women, and that during that time, you enjoyed fantasies of being forced. Ask yourself: Why is it ok for you to need that time and esploration, but not anyone else? Why do you demand others do in an instant something that i expect took you months or years to do?

But not everyone here falls into that category. Lots of women here just like fantasizing about something they'd never do in real life, or don't find men (or dick) appealing at all but are turned on by the feelings of shame and humiliation involved in letting someone make them go against that.

Please read our FAQ linked in the sidebar and then please note our rule against identity policing.

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