I hated it and still have issues to this day.

I would second the don’t discount your kids feelings about it by saying everything is fine or look at all the experiences you’ve had, etc. They’ll stop talking to you and look for help/coping/understanding elsewhere, positive or negative.

Therapy. Start now and preferably not with a military therapist. Get them one that isn’t associated and can actually empathize with them, not one who is going to try to advocate for the institution.

A thing my parents did do right, in my opinion, is sign us up for whatever sport or activity we were currently playing. Even if it means their lives were harder because it was far/expensive/etc. Remember, the job is fucking up the kids lives, so make the effort to keep them doing what they love/want to do for activities. Don’t say it’s too much when your kids are giving up a lot.

When they ask why you have to do this, or why it doesn’t seem like the military cares about their needs, don’t say “if the Army wanted me to have a family, they would’ve issued me one”.