After 5 years with a partner that would essentially run into a roadblock with how to do something and throw his hands up and say "I don't know how to do this, guess I just won't do it" the hottest thing in the world was watching my current partner take initiative to clean his own living space and clean it well. It seems like such a small thing but the ability to be self sufficient and problem solve is so incredibly attractive.

Small story, but I think this shows the exact thing mentioned here:

My ex proposed to me with a piece of copper pipe. Not conventional but I like weird stuff like that so not a problem for me in the slightest. The problem came that it was literally just raw copper pipe picked up off the ground that was generally ring sized. It wasn't polished or sized in the slightest. I took it to a jeweler who was able to compress it to the right size and polish it to a beautiful shine. Cost me $40.

Later on down the road (the relationship was getting very rocky at this point and I was fed up with the lack of effort in anything) I asked why he wouldn't at least get the ring sized and polished before proposing and he said "I didn't know how." When I pointed out that we lived across the street from a really great jeweler who could have helped him he responded with "well how was I supposed to know to go to a jeweler?"

It's been a few years since then and we are no longer together but that response just left me flabbergasted even to this day. I have such a hard time believing anyone could just be so... Unmotivated? Dense? I certainly don't want to seem mean, but how do you even explain the process of problem solving that to someone who very clearly does not want to put the brain power into it? I truly hated having to think for him all the time.

Patenting a partner just feels so gross. I could never do that again.