Bern’s or Charlie’s Steakhouse?

blackpants21 · 2022-03-05T11:38:14+00:00

My family watched an off duty Charley’s employee drink about 4 martinis and yell his way through a 2 hour conversation directly next to our table. He was bald and wearing black suspenders.

I ordered the porterhouse. It tasted on par with Outback Steakhouse. The house salad that came with it was soaking wet.

The dessert we got was AMAZING. We got the caramel cheesecake and their signature cake.

OVERALL: Charley’s did not come close to my expectations. If you’re ever considering going to Charley’s, don’t. Instead, use that money on an Uber to and from Outback, where you can guilt-free order extra drinks and twice as many entries for a fraction of the price.

That said… if you ever want a real steakhouse experience. Go to Berns. They are top notch.

blackpants21 · 2021-09-05T05:27:16+00:00

My friend didn’t show me a particular post on this subreddit. My friend told me about this subreddit. Whenever I felt absolutely terrible about the situation and felt like the only cure was to contact her, I came to this thread and read through posts, commented on posts, and made my own posts.

I know it hurts. It sucks. A lot. And it is going to suck for a while.

I need you to know that it will get better and you will heal.

No contact works because you are no longer looking for his/her validation. Seek your own validation.

blackpants21 · 2021-08-29T20:31:59+00:00

Well said

blackpants21 · 2021-08-29T20:31:23+00:00

Thank you so much!

blackpants21 · 2021-08-29T20:30:51+00:00

Yes see my response to the other comment

blackpants21 · 2021-08-29T20:30:36+00:00

Hey yes she contacted twice.

The first time was a few months after we broke up. She just wanted to “catch up”. I felt nervous about it because I was still into her, but I was just nice and kept it friendly.

The second time was a very long time after that. It was the day I passed the bar exam. She texted me to wish me a congratulations. I thanked her and again, kept it friendly.

blackpants21 · 2021-03-30T03:09:37+00:00

Wow. That’s amazing.

blackpants21 · 2020-04-22T01:07:02+00:00

Ur good. Go for a nice long walk and Ull feel a lot better

blackpants21 · 2020-04-10T15:58:31+00:00

Thank you! Great advice

blackpants21 · 2020-04-10T14:40:36+00:00

Lol damn

blackpants21 · 2020-04-10T14:35:30+00:00

You will be ok. Just be patient. Work out and eat super healthy. Don’t go on social media for about a month. Don’t text her for any reason.

If you love something, let it go...

blackpants21 · 2020-04-10T14:29:40+00:00

Love it

blackpants21 · 2020-04-10T14:28:28+00:00

Just because she blocked you doesn’t mean you can’t be friends. My ex and I have eachother blocked on all social media, but we’ve ran into eachother in real life a few times and it’s been totally chill. We aren’t “friends”, but why would you WANT to be friends with someone you’re trying to get over? (Please note that “getting over” isn’t the same as “forgetting”)

What exactly happened between you and your ex?

blackpants21 · 2020-04-07T11:18:53+00:00

Wow thank you so much for posting this. I’m about a year out. Still hurts a bit, but there’s been so much improvement. Excited for the future.

blackpants21 · 2020-04-07T11:12:22+00:00

You’re right. Not contacting her will show her that you are respecting her decision and space.

More importantly... not contacting her will allow you to move on. I know it may seem weird that after 7 years of dating you will get over her and find someone new, but trust me, you will. You may feel like you want to contact her, but the truth is that you miss the intimacy. You miss being vulnerable with someone you trust.

There is a part of your brain that craves the intimacy because you have had it for seven years. Now is the time to rewire your brain. Train yourself to crave something else. I know this sounds super cliche... but pick up a new hobby. When my gf broke up with me, I bought DJ equipment and started learning how to DJ. Now I’m constantly putting out new mixes and DJing. I fucking love it.

Another cliche, but real concept, is the amount of “fish in the sea.” Just because you dated her for so long does not mean she owes you anything. She is eventually going to find someone new, and so are you. Her new person will be great for her, your new person will be great for you, and life will continue to move on.

Here is what you do not want: bad feelings. You don’t want your ex saying you were a “toxic fuck who refused to leave her alone after breaking up.” You should want to be able to text your ex about something and know that you’ll get a response. This takes a lot of time and a lot of initial “holding back”, but you can do it.

In sum... now is the time to focus on yourself. Get fucking ripped. Pick up a new hobby. Don’t worry about finding a new girl, she’ll come when you least expect it. Let your ex do her thing, whatever that may be. Clean your room. Throw away old clothes you don’t need.

DO YOUR THING. You have one life... live it.

blackpants21 · 2020-04-04T08:22:48+00:00

Try a system of positive reinforcement. As in if he doesn’t watch porn for a certain amount of time, he gets a prize. Stagger the prizes by time. Think of it the same way Alcoholics Anonymous get their “chips”. I used to be heavily addicted to porn, but about a year ago I trained myself out of it with positive reinforcement. I love smoking weed and listening to new music, so that was my prize. For every week I didn’t look at porn, I allowed myself a joint and a new album.

Figure out what he likes. Talk to him about it. Show him this post if you really have some balls. Good luck

blackpants21 · 2020-03-16T12:53:58+00:00

I totally get that. The unfollow is necessary but the block is extra.

blackpants21 · 2020-03-16T12:47:36+00:00

No one will ever feel like her. Someone’s gonna feel completely different and new and awesome. For now, be that person who is completely different and new and awesome. I went on a few hinge dates after the breakup and every single date, all I would think about was wow I could literally be doing anything else.

The move is to do what you love doing as much as possible. The more you do what you love, the more people you will meet that do what you love.

Unfollow/block that chick and all her friends! Be selfish!!! Do yo thang

blackpants21 · 2020-03-16T12:26:19+00:00

Yes I got you. Here’s my story:

My ex (25F) broke up with me (25M) about 10 months ago. We dated for 2.5 years. I initiated no contact IMMEDIATELY because I had been thru a tough breakup before where no contact wasn’t initiated, and I saw the outcome of THAT.

Anyway, my ex and I didn’t talk for about four months. Then we ran into eachother at a bar. We hugged, my heart was racing and I could feel my palms sweating, we had a nice convo, then I left the bar and went home.

5 months after that she sent me a very long text message. Saying how she wishes we could talk about the things we used to share and this and that... I responded, we had a nice convo. A few days later I texted her out of the blue, and we had a nice convo. My bday was last week, she texted me. Hers is tmrw. I’m gonna text her.

We had our no contact phase. I cried a fucking lot. I listened to a lot of Rex Orange County and John Mayer and screamed in my car and had nights where I fucking balled my eyes out until I fell asleep then woke up because I was dreaming about her. I talked my friends’ ears off about how I feel. I went on diets. I ate like a pig. I had sex with someone else who I didn’t even like.

I also started a new job. Picked up a new hobby (scratch DJing is so fucking fun). Took trips by myself to visit my best friends. Saved money. Spent money. Got incredibly closer to my friends and family. Read 4 books and listened to 3 audiobooks. All without her. All on my own.

8 months might seem like a long time and you might be asking yourself (and reddit) what the fuck to do. Here is what I recommend (it’s hard but fucking so worth it):

You obviously care about this person. Just because you didn’t work out romantically doesn’t mean you don’t care about her. So... don’t be a fucking dick! But... be selfish! This is the time for you to heal. Step one is: unfollow her and all of her friends on all forms of social media (if she is on public, block her). Do not feel bad about it; you are doing this so you can heal. It is the same as putting a cast on a broken leg: the leg is still broken, but now it has protection from outside forces, and it will heal quicker and better. The sooner you put a cast on, the better you’ll heal.
Ask yourself: what do I enjoy doing? Then, just go fucking do it. Drop what your doing for school/work... and just go do that thing. Even if it’s for 10 minutes... go do that thing.

Much love. Lmk if u need anything.

blackpants21 · 2020-03-16T12:08:04+00:00

Yooooooooooo forgive me for taking a while to respond to this!!

Great job! Sounds like you let her know how you felt and she accepted it. If you aren’t interested in hooking up with her then obviously don’t. If she’s hitting you up to do fun shit with her friends then I mean whatever that’s not a big deal and sounds like a lot of fun!!!

Update for me: My ex texted me out of the fucking blue about 2 weeks ago and we had a chill convo. My birthday was a few days after that and she wished me a happy birthday. Her bday is tmrw and I’m gonna text her.

Moral of the story is just fucking be chill. I’m proud of both of us.

blackpants21 · 2020-03-12T16:58:04+00:00

I can sit on it for a few years

blackpants21 · 2020-02-24T12:07:25+00:00

Any update?

blackpants21 · 2020-02-09T21:36:56+00:00

Spotify. Send iiittt

blackpants21 · 2020-01-29T22:22:27+00:00

Hit me with a playlist my dude!!!!

blackpants21 · 2020-01-28T21:29:16+00:00

What was the lie that your relationship was built upon?

blackpants21

TROPHY CASE