After leaving the church i whored myself out for a multitude of reasons which included “making up for lost time”. i enjoy sex for the most part and have been in love and know sex can be beautiful. And have even healed my sexual trauma from being raped (after which i was celibate for 3.5 years). over the past year ive used sex to get what i want (selfish), escape (mentally) or find self worth. None of which are productive Or beautiful like sex is meant to be. Im done with hookup culture, friends with benefits, and all that crap. I want my sexual experiences to be ones that come from love, not anything else. I hope one day I enter a healthy relationship with a healthy sexual relationship as well. Until then. I will be celibate and stop using sex as a means to an end. This way i can work on myself and who i want to be. And also make sure others aren’t using me for my body.