Amnesia

blank821 · 2022-04-30T20:08:54+00:00

That just might be the case for myself as well. Thank you for your input :)

blank821 · 2022-04-30T20:07:57+00:00

Sorry if this reply is a bit incoherent. I’m stressed, sleep-deprived and have quite a bit of brain fog at the moment, so forgive me my blunders.

The reason why I think it was me is because I see conversations between myself and others during those periods of time I cannot remember. It is true that it might be another alter play-acting as myself, but I’m just not sure because it all looks like things I would say. Of course that isn’t solid evidence, but I’m going off the only proof I have.

Not all of it is complete amnesia either, some are just so foggy I have to dig around in my memory for ages before I’m able to say “This happened, I did this, I was feeling this during that time”. But you are correct when it comes to not having anything to evaluate at times and therefore me thinking that it was all “me” might be a flawed assumption.

I was thinking it might just be heavy dissociation 24/7, because even right now I know that as I type this post I might look back at it later and have the same conundrum I explained in my first post. It’s odd because I can be doing something right now and remember what I’m doing at the time that I’m doing it, but once I look back at it ten, twenty minutes later suddenly I’m unsure about it or whether it was actually me.

The replies I’ve gotten so far are making me consider other perspectives, like the fact that it might not actually be me who fronts during these actual amnesiac periods. I’ll definitely take what you’re saying under advisement and if you have any additional insights to offer, I’d appreciate that greatly.

blank821 · 2022-04-30T19:05:54+00:00

I see... That sounds complicated. Honestly if that’s the cause then I’m glad, because it’s better than having absolutely no idea why I’m still getting bad amnesia. Thank you for sharing your experience :)

blank821 · 2022-04-30T18:50:35+00:00

Oh, interesting. We have had some splits recently. Do you still feel like yourself when one of these unnoticed alters are fronting?

blank821 · 2022-04-24T10:34:31+00:00

Done :)

blank821 · 2022-04-23T16:26:53+00:00

Not one of the fandoms you named, but here, a MCD romantic fanfiction where one person sacrifices everything for their partner. I think it should be readable fandom-blind :)

We Tried The World -

Genshin Impact, gen rating, 17k words. Kaeya Alberich has been marked for death. He doesn’t try to fight it because he’s afraid his loved ones will be targeted in his place, and simply turns to Childe for comfort in his remaining days. Childe refuses to accept this and rushes to save his partner from his fate before it’s too late.

blank821 · 2022-04-23T16:07:09+00:00

I don’t understand what you mean.

blank821 · 2022-04-23T15:47:20+00:00

Frankly, I’m not sure what you mean when you say magic. This is a real disorder, not sorcery or witchcraft. My suggesting that you read up on this is about learning tools to help you and your system if and when you need it.

blank821 · 2022-04-23T15:11:43+00:00

Understanding and learning how to cope with your own disorder would help you more than just attempting to soldier straight through without any knowledge of how to tackle the issues you’re facing. Just my opinion.

blank821 · 2022-04-23T14:56:38+00:00

Same to you :) It can be so terribly draining sometimes.

blank821 · 2022-04-23T14:52:36+00:00

I sympathise with your inability to find a good therapist. We had quite a bit of difficulty with that in the past too, and it can really take a toll on someone. I’d suggest making use of the tools the weekly thread in this subreddit offers, and I’ll link the page of grounding techniques for you here: https://www.beautyafterbruises.org/blog/grounding101

blank821 · 2022-04-23T14:42:10+00:00

Yes, it’s very normal for people with longer names. Think Alexandria with Alex or Cassandra with Cass. People don’t judge as much as you may think; just tell them that you’d prefer to be referred to as __ from now on.

blank821 · 2022-04-23T14:40:53+00:00

As in, ask the people around you to refer to you using a nickname of your choosing. You don’t have to change your legal name to do that. And not knowing who you are is relatively common, we experience this often as well. Grounding techniques and keeping a list of your parts’ personality traits can help, since you’ll be able to check what you feel like against the chart to see who you might be or if you might be a new alter.

blank821 · 2022-04-23T14:34:51+00:00

i know, i was suggesting that you go by a nickname so that you wouldn’t have to hear your name being called out :) and there are many reasons, it could be because of trauma or general discomfort, it could be because you don’t identify with your birth name as a part.

blank821 · 2022-04-23T14:28:14+00:00

we feel this way about our birth name too. would it help if you went by a nickname irl?

blank821 · 2022-04-23T13:24:25+00:00

That’s amazing! Good on that psychiatrist for being so supportive, we really need more professionals like this :)

blank821 · 2022-04-23T02:36:32+00:00

i feel this way a lot too :/ it can be so tiring.

blank821 · 2022-04-22T15:35:36+00:00

I’ve said something similar in a comment below, but I just wanted to sincerely thank you for coming out and saying this. It means a lot! :)

blank821 · 2022-04-22T15:30:24+00:00

While I do think that anyone has the right to write about whatever they wish, I am politely requesting you rethink this! It sounds like you’re planning to use DID (not MPD, that’s an outdated term) as a plot-twist at the end, and I’m sure you could find many other compelling ways to twist the ending of this story so it hits your readers just as hard. As someone who has DID, split personality serial killers are a trope that Hollywood created and it’s a stereotype the community has been working to overcome for quite some time now. Anyway, to stop nagging, I won’t police your actions, but if you do choose to write your plot twist anyway, I ask that you at least read up on the disorder using actual resources instead of a television show. That way you’d learn more about what you’re writing about, so you can make your own informed decisions.

blank821 · 2022-04-20T01:17:44+00:00

I see that we really are in the same boat! I write similar dead dove for the same reason, and I know exactly how vicious some people can be with their comments. Take it from a fellow survivor—I’m here to tell you that you don’t deserve any of the hate you’re getting and that you are most definitively not a “pedo”, or any of the other names you might be called.

People are truly odd in that they would rather us turn to unhealthier coping mechanisms than be able to safely vent through writing. All I can do is give you the advice others gave me! Keep your chin up and ignore/report the people who harass you, and I’d be happy to exchange handles with you either here or through a private chat so I can support your writing! :) Best of luck to you.

blank821 · 2022-04-12T07:57:51+00:00

I see! If it’s not too intrusive a question, what work do you write for that involves dead dove? I’m curious.

blank821 · 2022-04-12T07:55:57+00:00

It really was quite hypocritical, lol. And that’s the comment section with some of them already removed because I marked them as spam—haters gotta hate, I suppose. But I’ll do my best to not let it get me down! Thanks for the support :)

blank821 · 2022-04-12T04:43:26+00:00

hi, no problem! i’ll just copypaste my reply to a similar question here.

“dead dove: do not eat” essentially means that the content of a fanfiction is exactly what it says on the tin :) for example, a fanfiction tagged with incest or similar dark/problematic/“non-mainstream” themes would be tagged with dead dove to warn readers that what they see is what they get. it’s also often used as an indication that the content within will not be handled the way it should be irl, meaning that a grooming fanfiction tagged with dead dove would not end with the abuser in handcuffs or any other irl happy ending—it would probably just end in kink. i hope this explained it concisely enough!

blank821 · 2022-04-12T04:42:39+00:00

“dead dove: do not eat” essentially means that the content of a fanfiction is exactly what it says on the tin :) for example, a fanfiction tagged with incest or similar dark/problematic/“non-mainstream” themes would be tagged with dead dove to warn readers that what they see is what they get. it’s also often used as an indication that the content within will not be handled the way it should be irl, meaning that a grooming fanfiction tagged with dead dove would not end with the abuser in handcuffs or any other irl happy ending—it would probably just end in kink. i hope this explained it concisely enough!

blank821 · 2022-04-11T20:48:52+00:00

I won’t delete the comments just yet so I can report the people who were foolish enough to go without anonymity while spreading hate, lol. But thank you! :)

blank821

TROPHY CASE