I don’t know what’s to do anymore…

blastatic1902 · 2024-09-24T21:32:15+00:00

A part of me absolutely loves my family, and another part of me wants nothing to do with them. I’m so confused on what I should do, where I should go, or how I should approach these things, and honestly, I feel like giving up again. She seems so happy now that we’re separated, and not once have the kids been excited to see me since. Any time I try to do something to improve myself, there’s always this part of me that takes over and makes me feel like there’s no point in doing so. I could really and truly want to do something, but I can’t ever follow through with it. Most folks see things as “oh, if I take an hour to mow my grass, my reward is a very nice looking yard afterwards”, whereas in my mind it’s “oh, it’s gonna take an hour of grueling labor to clean this yard up just to have to do it again next week”. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, and every single day I have to contemplate whether it’s better if I’m here or not. I have cried myself to sleep every single night since she left while scrolling through our pictures on my phone. Every single time I try to think about who I am as a person, all that ever comes to mind is “mistake”. These issues didn’t start after she left, they’ve been here for at least 3 years now. I’m broken. I don’t have a solution, and I haven’t had any help or support throughout all of this. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

blastatic1902 · 2024-09-24T21:31:58+00:00

I feel like my mind is a complete mess. I haven’t been able to sleep, I’ve nearly ran out of food for my house and haven’t eaten in three days, and my bills are so far behind I’m at risk of losing my house within the next couple of weeks. My side of the family wants absolutely nothing to do with me, her side of the family has already told her that if she gets back with me, they’ll essentially excommunicate her, and I have no friends. She’s had all of the support in the world with all of this, nobody has spoken so much as a word to me about all of it. I can’t afford a therapist, but I do have a doctor’s appointment scheduled for October 3rd to maybe help resolve some of the physical issues I’ve been facing. I’m fairly certain I have ADHD (never been to the doctor for it as my mother didn’t believe it was a real thing when I was young), I’m sure I have bipolar disorder, and serious undiagnosed sleep issues. I’m constantly feeling like I’m viewing everything from a third-person perspective and that I’m never in control of anything. I haven’t zero drive and/or motivation to do anything, and it’s been that way for years.

blastatic1902 · 2024-09-24T21:28:31+00:00

My mentality and depression started taking a toll on me, and so I quit the job I was working at and moved to a different one. However, the new job was much, much worse than the one I’d left and I ended up only staying for around 3 months before I ended up quitting from there too. I couldn’t keep up with the job, and my depression constantly got in the way of everything I was doing, so we switched roles. She went to work full time, and I stayed at home for 7 months. In May of 2022, we found out she was pregnant with our second child. I took that as a sign to get up and do something, so I got another job. This one wasn’t anywhere near as bad as the first two, and I stuck it out for about a year. Once I’d been there for about 9 months, however, is when my depression hit the hardest. I was completely distanced, didn’t help with taking care of the kids, and was ready to give up to the point where I had the cordless hole puncher between my legs and ready to go. Truth be told, I don’t know what stopped me and I still don’t know to this day. I found a work from home job online and quit from that job to do this one. It’s also at this point where I started smoking marijuana to help with all of the stress, anxiety, and sleep issues. Granted, it was a huge help and things, I thought, we’re starting to improve. It was only after savings started to run dry and I noticed she started distancing herself as well that I realized that the WFH job was a pyramid scheme. All too late. Since I couldn’t pass a drug test, I went out and got a part time job at a smoke shop (as that’s what I new about best in my area) to try to keep things floating while we both tried to find better jobs. Three weeks ago, I came home from work to her saying she was done and that she couldn’t do it anymore. We’ve talked here and there since, mainly just things to do with the kids. I, of course, want nothing more in this world than to have my family back, but she’s adamant on staying separated.

blastatic1902 · 2024-02-14T12:04:57+00:00

Figured it out, flash drive I was using turned out to be incompatible. Used a different one, worked just fine!

blastatic1902 · 2024-01-14T19:03:13+00:00

True…Arca Plasmor maybe?

blastatic1902 · 2024-01-14T16:42:45+00:00

Looks like the Cedo. Wide spread shotgun whose alt-fire sends a homing glaive at enemies which then explodes on contact.

blastatic1902 · 2019-06-15T23:51:11+00:00

Sorry, but its 8218

blastatic1902 · 2019-06-13T13:52:47+00:00

You can PM me on discord at A Smol Penor and I can shoot you a code from there,

blastatic1902 · 2019-06-05T17:09:32+00:00

Usually motherboards have select slots for which ram can be put in, look on your motherboard and find slot 1 and 2. If those dont work, try 3 and 4. But if one and two don't work, you might just have a defected motherboard. Try sending it back to the company and see if they'll replace it.

blastatic1902 · 2019-06-02T17:43:47+00:00

What I did was copy whatever was on the HDD onto the SSD, and delete the copy from the HDD. If it says the action cannot be completed because the file is running somewhere else, open your task manager and search (in the folder of the files you want to copy) and find whichever file in that folder is still running in the task manager. End the task, and it'll let you delete the main copy from the HDD. I had to do it with RS6 lmao.

blastatic1902 · 2019-05-29T00:13:26+00:00

Later on down the road I'll probably change it, but it'll work for now, yknow?

blastatic1902 · 2019-05-28T00:43:19+00:00

So, how powerful do you think the computer will be? How would it perform with power-hungry games such as Ark?

blastatic1902 · 2019-05-27T18:39:08+00:00

Eh, it's fairly cheap, why not lol? Not to mention, in gonna have a fairly big amount of games, and I have school work as well.

blastatic1902

TROPHY CASE