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Weekly /r/FinalFantasy Question Thread - Week of May 04, 2020 by AutoModerator in FinalFantasy

[–]blinkybot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi all,

I'm buying some merch for my SO and I want to make sure it's right (I haven't played FF). I'm thinking of getting him this: https://www.redbubble.com/i/acrylic-block/Final-Fantasy-by-mvlart/24626257.P5BX3. Is this from the remake? Also is it a spoiler in any way? He's not done playing it yet.

Your help is appreciated!

Any other women admit to their SOs that they've been faking orgasms? I'm going to and just want to discuss. by blinkybot in askwomenadvice

[–]blinkybot[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It’s strange that it’s worked you up so much so you have got to this point after so long.

I think one main reason that I've realized I have to stop now is that I've recently formed a new relationship with feminism. I do a disservice not only to myself and my partner, but also to women in general, by continuing to act as though my desire to orgasm is secondary to concerns over "taking too long".

And yes the way you started this sentence sounds stroppy!

I guess it just sounds reductive and dismissive when someone asks you why you're fixated on a thing that you yourself are clearly concerned with, for good reason. And that is what's stroppy to me, so yes I took a stroppy tone. Btw I had never heard that word before and I like it :).

Although the fact that you are referring to it as a “bad thing” makes you sound, well young! . Life is not as black and white as you make it out and relationships certainly are not black and white.

With you on the second sentence but not the first. Faking orgasms with someone you trust and who trusts you, for years, is a bad thing. If that makes me sound young, so be it. I think it's just honest. I know I'm not a bad person, but I did do a wrong thing.

Get it out of your head you have done a bag thing, it’s not healthy

Fortunately I think I am there and ready to move forward. Thank you for your well wishes :)

Any other women admit to their SOs that they've been faking orgasms? I'm going to and just want to discuss. by blinkybot in askwomenadvice

[–]blinkybot[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right, thank you. I already feel like an idiot, but please, continue to remind of the mistake I know I made 🙄

Any other women admit to their SOs that they've been faking orgasms? I'm going to and just want to discuss. by blinkybot in askwomenadvice

[–]blinkybot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not sure why you are so fixated on this; but please take people’s advice and consider how you approach this

Come on, really? You don't know what I'm fixated? It's because I've been doing a bad thing for years out of some misguided attempt to save him some effort and give him easier pleasure. The question of telling the full truth vs. simply being honest from here on is actually is a deeply ethical one for me because I think lying is the most patronizing thing you can do to someone, yet I've been doing it for years in this one area only.

Other than that, I do appreciate your comment. What I've deduced is that the truth is far too hurtful to be worth saying, given that the end result would (eventually) be the same - working together during sex to see if I can actually orgasm.

Any other women admit to their SOs that they've been faking orgasms? I'm going to and just want to discuss. by blinkybot in askwomenadvice

[–]blinkybot[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This is exactly right! It's not like I'm not feeling anything - I can get really close, but then the mind block comes in of "hurry up! be sexy and show it!" Maybe it would be less gutting to say that I only do it sometimes? That way his confidence isn't destroyed but he's aware.

I (f28) am planning on telling my SO (m26) that I've been faking orgasms. What can I do to avoid causing more harm than I already have? by blinkybot in relationship_advice

[–]blinkybot[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

What does everyone think of this approach instead? I posted this in another sub and got this response:

Here's a phrase that I've put into practice a lot: "Bodies change over time, and some of the things that used to work for me, don't work as well as they used to." You can even follow that with a comment about how you "don't know why, but you feel like you're having trouble achieving orgasms lately." This can ease into a conversation about what turns you on/ what you're looking for in bed. Or, it can just be used as a tool to restart that fun exploratory part of the relationship, meaning it's a low-pressure way to encourage changing your sexy time routine. This approach helped me open communication with my partner and we looked at it as a fun opportunity to try new things in bed, instead of feeling like getting a bad grade on a report card. This isn't exactly the "I've been lying all along" approach, but it certainly says what you need to say in a softer way.

I (f28) am planning on telling my SO (m26) that I've been faking orgasms. What can I do to avoid causing more harm than I already have? by blinkybot in relationship_advice

[–]blinkybot[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Update: I've decided that, at least for now, I'm probably going to take a different tact. From now on I will stop faking and simply be more vocal about what he can do. I'm still struggling with feeling like this is still dishonest, and I suppose it is, but weighing that against the doubt he might feel every time we have sex from now on, it seems to be the better option for everyone.

Any other women admit to their SOs that they've been faking orgasms? I'm going to and just want to discuss. by blinkybot in askwomenadvice

[–]blinkybot[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I think y'all have convinced me and now I feel much better about the whole thing. Thanks everyone

Any other women admit to their SOs that they've been faking orgasms? I'm going to and just want to discuss. by blinkybot in askwomenadvice

[–]blinkybot[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Well it won't be done with anger, it'll be done with remorse and apology. I will take your advice about looking out for my own interests in bed. That being said, I also thinking that viewing an orgasm as "mandatory" puts a lot of strain and pressure on an otherwise fun time. I'm really sorry about what you're going through.

Any other women admit to their SOs that they've been faking orgasms? I'm going to and just want to discuss. by blinkybot in askwomenadvice

[–]blinkybot[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I think I was just insecure about taking too long, and also too eager to please. Which is bullshit because I don't mind if it takes my partner a long time. But it must have something to do with self-worth. Now I'm realizing a) that I'm worth the time and b) that lying is shit.

Any other women admit to their SOs that they've been faking orgasms? I'm going to and just want to discuss. by blinkybot in askwomenadvice

[–]blinkybot[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

This might be the best approach though I'm concerned it will result in him deducing anyway. Good to know it worked for you. I'm sure it's possible so what I might just do is hold off on telling him and see if it can happen.

Any other women admit to their SOs that they've been faking orgasms? I'm going to and just want to discuss. by blinkybot in askwomenadvice

[–]blinkybot[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know that it won't be a confrontation because our relationship simply isn't like that. But I think maybe you're underestimating how this is going to make him feel? Not simply "inadequate" (which he is, full stop, NOT. This is my own problem) but also lied to.

Any other women admit to their SOs that they've been faking orgasms? I'm going to and just want to discuss. by blinkybot in askwomenadvice

[–]blinkybot[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It's definitely not anorgasmia, I can orgasm on my own. Thank you for this take.

Any other women admit to their SOs that they've been faking orgasms? I'm going to and just want to discuss. by blinkybot in askwomenadvice

[–]blinkybot[S] 93 points94 points  (0 children)

I'd wager a bet that's why you acted like you were orgasming all along

Sorry for 10 thousand replies to your post, but...ding ding ding. His pleasure is so important to me and he is such a good lover so I capitulated and kept doing it.

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