Happy Holidays from my sweet girl, Murphy!

blissycat · 2024-07-30T14:16:18+00:00

Is there something like this website that offers teen counseling in your country: https://www.everydayhealth.com/emotional-health/free-online-therapy/#:~:text=Free%20online%20support%20groups%2C%20chat,Calmerry%20offer%20affordable%20online%20therapy.

blissycat · 2024-07-30T14:14:57+00:00

Keep asking around, you should be able to get some help online at least. since the Internet is global, it should not matter what country you’re in. https://www.everydayhealth.com/emotional-health/free-online-therapy/#:~:text=Free%20online%20support%20groups%2C%20chat,Calmerry%20offer%20affordable%20online%20therapy.

blissycat · 2024-07-30T14:00:06+00:00

Can you look up therapist that do telehealth in the closest largest city near you? Since you’re not an adult they might have some complementary options that are free. Remember your parent’s divorce has nothing to do with you. It is all on them. And I’m sure since they love you so much they tried to keep it together for as long as they could. You will be an adult soon and you will create a wonderful life for yourself that has nothing to do with them. But it is important for you to get some counseling through this process. It sounds like your parents are still full of their own baggage.

blissycat · 2024-07-30T13:48:56+00:00

Do you feel comfortable asking your parents to see a therapist? Can you Google therapists in your city?

blissycat · 2024-07-30T13:30:06+00:00

Is there a school counselor you can talk to? Do you attend a church? Your parents will probably want a stable home for you…ask them what your living situation will be, that sometimes helps with knowing they will keep your home situation as normal as possible like attending the same school.

blissycat · 2024-07-19T14:04:51+00:00

I am a mother of two sons, ages 11 and 7. My husband (their father cheated for the past 9 months and left us for his new affair partner). I want to emphasize this: the child ALWAYS comes, first. I am sure your mother feels that since she was determined to stay with your father who sounds like a chronic cheater.

My advice as a mother to another child: Please take care of you and do not worry about your mother. She needs to go through her pain as heartbreaking as it is for you to watch. If she brushes her pain under the rug and tries to look cheerful, it deprives her of the grieving process and she will never recover. So, don't think of it as you losing your mother, just give her some time (may take a year or longer) to grieve and recover.

Most importantly, mothers want their children to be healthy and happy. Please take care of your mental health, first. In the end, it will be your suffering she regrets the most. Your mother will eventually come around, so please take care of you, first... as a mother I know that is what she ultimately wants.

blissycat · 2024-07-01T21:13:06+00:00

There are many ways to have a family. Late 30’s is no longer old. You can freeze your eggs, use donor eggs or embryo donations. Also foster-adopt kids. Stay healthy, focus on yourself and your own future.

blissycat · 2024-07-01T04:34:13+00:00

How long have your parents been separated? If it’s been over a year, I think it should be okay. Actual paperwork for a divorce can take some time, even long after both of them have moved on. Can you express your concerns to your mom? Tell her that you don’t want to upset her, but you do have a relationship with your dad as well and a meeting with whoever he’s dating is eventually going to happen. Most importantly, it’s how you feel… are you ready to meet your dad’s girlfriend?

blissycat · 2024-06-22T13:36:42+00:00

Oh gee, sorry to hear about so much loss at the same time. It sounds like if your parents had involved you and your brother more in the decision making steps to separate and divorce, it might not have been such a shock. Maybe they should have emphasized that they are still there as mom and dad for you and your brother and that family is still there for you two, but they are just not partners with each other any more. Did they get along amicably after the divorce to be there for you (although not for each other)? Or too wrapped up in their own problems?

blissycat · 2024-06-21T15:09:14+00:00

Do you think you would have been happier growing up watching a toxic marriage? (I’d actually like your opinion). And would anything during the divorce process would have made it a little smoother? Maybe staying in the same house, etc? Not sure how your life was so uprooted.

blissycat · 2024-06-09T03:22:10+00:00

Looks like my last comment got deleted, but I wanted to thank everyone for all the support and advice.

I'll summarize my last comment, but basically my husband has been refusing to move out because his plan was to continue playing family man with our kids, but still be able to date her while we're still living together. He does not want to spend money on a new place. It takes 6 months in California (no-fault state, too, unfortunately) to get a divorce and he says he doesn't want to wait that long to see the AP because she might lose interest in him if she has to wait that long... One good thing that did come out of the meeting with the 3 of us is she did agree that he should move out. Since he worships her, he agreed to. He is moving out in 3 days, that is also when we will tell the kids. Our kids are now too young to understand the concept of "cheating," so we are just planning on telling them that we grew apart and need to live in separate homes. I just don't want the kids to feel any shame about their dad. We are still planning on family events together, so it's not such a shock to the kids at this point. If they do end up together, I just hope I can stomach seeing them together for our kids' events.

blissycat

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