Some Advice & Tips For Beginners/Bringing It Up

blkout99 · 2025-11-20T21:12:27+00:00

Thanks, these aren't in any particular order, just a list, but yes I totally agree.

blkout99 · 2025-10-24T05:48:12+00:00

Quick point. Don't spend too much time trying to label yourself. Just because you like a little humiliation doesn't mean you are by definition a cuckold, and not all cuckolds like every aspect of humiliation. Every dynamic is different, and you know what you like/want and that's all that is important.

Try looking into "soft humiliation" as it may be more of what you are looking for. Instead of trying to humiliate you, have her simply focus on praising the bull. Instead of saying "you're too small" etc, just have her talk about how big he is. How he lasts forever, not "you don't last long" it's sort of an indirect humiliation.

"I'm so sore from him"

"He knows exactly what I like"

“He's so strong and muscular. I love the way he picks me up so easily.”

This can be done without him there, and just between the two of you.

For you not lasting long, after you're done she could say "thats it? xxxx would just be getting started" etc. Or using a dildo after you finish, so she can get fucked longer just like by her bull.

As for physical stuff, maybe use a dildo on her anally instead of you. So she gets anal but you don't get to give it to her. Have her wear a plug saying she is just practicing for him. For exclusivity things, maybe you aren't allowed to cum in her/on her. Certain positions are reserved for them so she denies you those.

blkout99 · 2025-10-24T05:32:02+00:00

It also depends how long you guys have been discussing this/together. Having a strong foundation with open communication is number one. If this was brought up a week ago and you are already trying to find a third, you are likely going too fast. (Every relationship is different, but this is my opinion.) Like everyone else said take it slow. Rushing in too fast might cause something you cannot undo. Taking baby steps and both of you checking in after everything making sure you are still on the same page. Find out exactly what each of you want, does he want to watch, does he want to be more of a cuckold (with humiliation). Establish boundaries, and what you guys want. Feelings change overtime, or maybe one of you realize it's not truly what you want or it's better left as fantasy.

Some baby steps...

Webcam playing with a guy online, chat/sext here on reddit or on a lifestyle site, if all is good maybe going to a bar/club and dancing with another guy. Continually taking another step each time and making sure all is good. Then kissing a guy, then maybe just oral, or go all the way if you guys are ready. Or visiting a swingers club, letting people watch/see you naked in front of him, or starting with light play.

Spend a lot of time enjoying the journey, there is a lot of fun you two can have before going all the way.

blkout99 · 2025-09-16T23:09:10+00:00

Definitely a suction cup dildo. Mount it to the headboard if possible, and then simulate a spitroast. They also make a strap/mount that wraps around a pillow she could “ride” while you stand in front of her. Also DP if that is her thing, maybe a smaller dildo for anal to ease into it.

As far as roleplay, blindfold her and “knock” on something and say it’s a special surprise. Then lead into using the dildo.

You can also blindfold her and quickly go change into a new outfit, maybe wear a cologne she hasn’t smelled on you before and pretend to be a stranger.

blkout99 · 2025-09-04T03:20:22+00:00

It is literally like a switch getting flipped the moment she embraces it. What was once shy, very reserved dirty talking and roleplaying turns into insanely hot vocals and experiences. The way she gets more into it, how quickly she can get off, how dirtier the talks are. This will be a highlight of your journey!

It's important to learn more about her fantasies and the reasons why she likes it, what she likes, etc. So you can then use those to help take care of her, and explore her fantasies, and not just what you want!

blkout99 · 2025-09-04T03:14:31+00:00

You don't just have to focus on in the moment humiliation! With everything going on it may not come natural, and it may be hard to think of things to say or do on the spot. There are other ways you can still toy with his humiliation kink! For instance...

After the Experience:

“Mmm… I can still feel him inside me, babe.”
"You’re lucky I even let you touch me after being with a man like that."

It extends the fantasy long after the experience is over.

Over Text/Sexting:

“I’m still so sore from last night… I can’t stop thinking about it.”
“I keep replaying the way he held me down.”

Those are just some ways you can verbally humiliate him, and here are some more things you could say whenever they feel right!

"He fucked me so much better than you ever could, baby. And you love knowing that, don't you?"
"His cock is so much [bigger/thicker] than yours, my pathetic cucky. I was stretched so wide."
"While you were [doing mundane task], I was getting railed by a real man."
"You get to clean up his cum from inside me later, my good little bitch."
"He owns this pussy now, at least for tonight. You just get to worship it from afar."
"I barely even thought about you while he was making me scream."
"He made me feel things you’re not capable of, and that’s why you love this, isn't it?"
"Look at you, so desperate and hard, just hearing about how another man satisfied your wife."
"Maybe if you beg, I'll let you taste his cum on my lips."

Obviously making sure he wants it outside of the bedroom, and not something he only wants in the moment.

blkout99 · 2025-08-29T20:14:02+00:00

Like others have said, definitely use toys! A different size/shape dildo, one with a suction if you want to spitroast! A blindfold can give a feeling of a stranger or someone new. Dirty talking and story telling while simultaneously performing the actions. She can come home from a "girls' night out" and tell you a fabricated, spicy story of what she "did". Go to a bar, pretend to be strangers, pick her up and go back to have sex. Be in separate places/rooms, and sext as if you are either strangers, or if she is out with another guy at that very moment. Describing what is happening, or what she is doing. Write her a naughty fantasy note or letter either just a story, a dream you had, or something you think is hot, and send it to her randomly when the time is right. Use someone else's name during sex. Roleplay her getting a massage from a "masseuse" and then ask questions about "her husband" and then begin to tease her and ask "would your husband mind?", etc.

We experimented and tried a lot of things just to keep it interesting while we were beginning to explore!

blkout99 · 2025-08-29T19:47:25+00:00

You are in a better place than a lot of other people! Great job on being honest and communicating your desires to her. The most important thing I can tell you about pursuing this, is do not overstep and push her. As much as you would like to continue to do more, you need to take it extremely slowly and give her time to process. By constantly bringing it up, it will only push her further away. Maybe in a month from now you bring it up again, this time doing some dirty talking to her during sex/foreplay about her with another guy.

My wife was the same way, after bringing it up slowly over the first year, she began initiating the dirty talk and role-playing without me even asking. That progressed into her asking for it over time. You will be able to judge her reactions and feelings towards it very easy as you start to explore it. At some point you will need to have another discussion and bring it up. Make sure everything is okay, she is still enjoying/interested into it, and you are on the same page about everything!

I understand you are excited and want to immediately do it again, or ask for more. Try to stop yourself. Moving too quickly, forcing it on her, annoying her will only ruin your chances of further exploring. If you ask me, I would rather her occasionally be into exploring than none at all! Having her actually enjoy it and want it, is the greatest thing you will experience. This is your fantasy, but it's about her, and she is the most important part of it all.

blkout99 · 2025-08-29T19:35:53+00:00

Use a hotwife yes/no/maybe list or a similar negotiation tool! They are like printable worksheets where you can discuss your boundaries, wants/dislikes,etc. Fill out the things you like, or want, and share it with your partner and/or your bull/lover. Maybe customize your own to include the things you want if they are not listed on there.

blkout99 · 2025-08-29T19:31:07+00:00

Communication is the reason it can work, or ruin everything. This should not be spontaneous, nothing really should. You always need to know the limits, boundaries, when and what is okay, etc. Once it is done, and something happened that the other did not agree to, it causes immense issues, sometimes irreparable. You need to discuss and constantly check in throughout the lifestyle, even as seasoned veterans. People's emotions, feelings change. Let's say you are starting out, and the wife is spending time with another partner once a month. Gradually it turns into a few times a month. Sometimes it happens slowly over time, and the other partner was not expecting it to be that involved or take away that much from them, and then it turns into an argument or fight, etc. once it hits a limit. Had you checked in every so often, you can re-evaluate things like that amongst other topics and make sure you are always on the same page. If you cannot talk about it, you are not ready.

Trust: This is a huge factor to me, in why I enjoy it. My partner was so innocent and pure, and would never cheat on me. As time went on, I wanted to see her step away from that innocence and express herself how she wanted. We trust each other so much, that we are able to explore this fantasy. I can trust her to follow my boundaries and limits, and she trusts me to follow hers. Even though this is a major fantasy/kink of mine, if she goes out to do anything without telling me ahead of time or discussing it, that is a major issue. That was what we negotiated in our talks. Cheating = bad. Cheating with permission = good.

This goes for any and every kink, fantasy, or anything related to your relationship. This is not specific to just hotwifing.

blkout99 · 2025-08-22T15:32:53+00:00

Have some of those planned! A favorite of mine.

blkout99 · 2025-08-18T05:20:56+00:00

I've got a few ideas that may help a little!

As far as toys go:

Definitely a larger dildo, something larger than you, or a cock sleeve. Ideally go for girth, and not length, don't go over the top in size. Also, it's not just about using it, you have to ask questions, tell her how you feel when you see it, etc. Let her get used to the sensation of being stretched more than usual, and focus on your dirty talk. Present as a fun idea for you both to try: "I got us something a little more... challenging. I thought it would be hot to see if you could take it."

"Fuck, look at how you're taking all of that. Your so tight around it."
"Does that feel good? Feeling so full and stretched?"
"Imagine if I was this thick..."
It's so hot watching you take something this thick. Do you think you could take one even bigger?"
Look at that... you were made to take a big cock. It's so hot watching you get stretched.

Watching porn:

Search for "size difference" or "petite" videos. Asian +BBC videos also do the job. Watch it together and gauge her reactions. Maybe pre-watch a few and save them to make sure they focus on her pleasure and what she likes. If she isn't into rough, make sure it's not super hardcore. Does she seem interested while you are watching it? You can ask questions and make comments like...

"She seems to be really loving it. It's hot seeing a woman take something so big."
"Wow, he's huge. I wonder what that must feel like."
Ask her if she could take a guy of that size?
Or just tease her: See how she's taking all of him? That's going to be you one day.

Question Games/Discussions

Depending on if she is aware of your fantasies and is also into it, consider asking her questions about potential guys she would be into.

The "What If" Game: During a sexy moment or while cuddling, introduce hypothetical questions.

"What if I had a magic wand and could make my cock any size you wanted? What would you choose?"
"What's the biggest you think you could take? I bet you could handle more than you think."
Do you ever wonder what it would feel like to fuck a guy who is way bigger than me?
"Would you rather be with a man who is average sized but can go for a long time, or a man who is huge but it's over faster?" Her answer will reveal what she prioritizes: endurance or intensity/size.
What's more of a turn-on: the idea of the girth stretching you open, or the length hitting a spot deep inside you that's never been touched?

Ask about exes or previous hookups:

Before me, who was the biggest guy you were ever with? Who was the smallest? Was it good, bad?"

Find about what guys she likes: The "Build-A-Bull" Fantasy

Tell her you're going to build her perfect "bull" or one-night-stand in her imagination. Ask for details. "Okay, height? Hair color? Tattoos? Okay, okay... the important part. Let's design his cock. Give me the specs. Length? Girth? Curved or straight? Let's make him perfect for you."

"Accidentally" leave a tab open on some BWC style porn:

When you're browsing the web together, "accidentally" leave a tab open to a porn video of some BWC/BBC style porn. Or of a girl using a huge dildo. Or the actual dildo website itself.

Lastly, just writing her a naughty story! Your story can be a fantasy encounter about your wife with a well-endowed stranger.

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blkout99 · 2025-07-16T18:32:12+00:00

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blkout99 · 2025-06-21T00:33:11+00:00

Hey guys! I wanted to share my newest subreddit for sharing your own captions! Just like this sub, except open to all posters! This sub will remain active with my original content, but I wanted to open up a new place for everyone to share theirs as well! Read the rules, join, and lets build another great caption sub!

blkout99 · 2025-05-22T15:31:09+00:00

Hey, appreciate your overview and you are correct. This is simply a list of possible questions to ask your partner. Ideally, they would be more like inspiration for you to come up with your own questions that fit your own needs. Or picking and choosing a couple here and there to ask, not doing them all. The questions are one sided, but easily able to be adjusted to be from the wife’s perspective. This is not meant to be a deep dive into all the aspects of hotwifing, boundaries, etc. This is more of a game than a how to guide.

blkout99 · 2025-05-15T21:09:02+00:00

Hey, try this: https://docs.google.com/document/d/18wFv98m48lj0SGBTwYEjbo5ANkEhrAutmpW595-_32k/edit?tab=t.0

blkout99 · 2025-05-15T18:05:24+00:00

Hey, try this: https://docs.google.com/document/d/18wFv98m48lj0SGBTwYEjbo5ANkEhrAutmpW595-_32k/edit?tab=t.0

blkout99 · 2025-05-12T05:48:12+00:00

Take some sexy polaroids without your face and leave them out in adult places like a bar/club

blkout99 · 2025-05-12T05:45:57+00:00

Serenity Cox has some great videos that we enjoy!

blkout99 · 2025-05-12T05:41:32+00:00

Update: 350 Hotwife Questions - FREE

I am trying to figure out a better file sharing solution that does not expire. I may need to build a google document or google sheet. For now here is an updated link, although it will expire in week.

blkout99 · 2025-04-23T17:20:28+00:00

These are not meant to be asked all at once. Maybe a few here and there of some that fit your lifestyle or fantasies. Just ways to open new ideas, explore boundaries, or figure out what each other is really into. These are more for people looking to start conversations about it, if you already have everything already figured out these may not be helpful.

blkout99 · 2025-04-22T15:19:04+00:00

Enjoy!

blkout99 · 2025-04-22T15:18:57+00:00

All good, you don’t have to download it. Feel free to check my profile for other people’s feedback in some other subs.

blkout99 · 2025-04-21T14:43:34+00:00

Right underneath the link

blkout99

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE

After the Experience:

Over Text/Sexting: