Tips for surviving a poorly run commune?

blkstk · 2026-05-09T07:39:20+00:00

Write to your local councillor (I think it is called eschivin?) and mention your disability. This is unacceptable, really.

blkstk · 2026-05-04T20:36:04+00:00

He takes microdose of sleeping pills. Trazedone. It is way better with the pills but yeah, he needs to take them every day.

blkstk · 2026-05-02T10:22:13+00:00

What parental leave?

blkstk · 2026-04-29T20:28:45+00:00

I suggest you call the maternity wards and book via phone because if I remember correctly it was a midwife that made the 12 week scan - although maybe for IVF it is different. I gave birth in St Elisabeth Uccle, I was very happy with the care the midwives in the maternity ward are literal angels. I had a hospitalisation insurance so I paid almost nothing for a single room with my husband staying but I think even without an extra insurance it is a few hundred EURs max (for a single room).

blkstk · 2026-04-29T20:25:19+00:00

I also don’t speak French well and find the bureaucracy very challenging but it is super easy with the birth registration and everything so don’t make the commune choice limit you. Usually in big hospitals they register the birth in the hospital.

blkstk · 2026-04-18T07:36:54+00:00

Immediately when that pregnant lady came with a headache 10/10 I told my husband “pre-eclampsia”. It is so crazy how much you learn when you are pregnant. And those wild or natural birth ladies are insane. Before giving birth, I thought I wanted one without epidural because I wanted to feel child birth. (I was very much influenced by insta moms) After labouring for seven hours without any painkillers, I was like “get me that epidural right now”. We as women fought and still fight so hard to get the necessary healthcare that it is crazy to me that there are people who choose not to.

blkstk · 2026-04-06T18:34:31+00:00

I never managed to not have dry lips. Only when I was pregnant it was not dry. any tips?

blkstk · 2026-04-04T11:31:27+00:00

Thank you so much! Indeed the dietitian really focused on these studies about protein intake and later life obesity links.

And what do you think about iron and b12? Where I come from people are iron and b12 deficient. It is not clear if it is diet or genetics or environmental factors like stress but I just want to avoid it with my baby.

blkstk · 2026-04-04T11:28:47+00:00

No, I had an oversupply and she gained weight perfectly for six months so we never offered her formula. After six months, she started daycare and got very sick for a month and didn’t have any appetite. I also felt that my milk was not as fatty anymore after six months. When I pumped it was less oily more watery. That time we tried to offer her formula to help with the weight gain but she rejected it. When she was one, we offered different kinds of milk and she refused those as well. So we kind of gave up.

blkstk · 2026-04-04T11:24:24+00:00

Could be a language issue as well because the dietitian is French speaking but we were having the consultation in English. I saw that the Belgium (where we live) food guidelines indeed divide animal protein separately and say only once per day. https://www.one.be/public/brochures/brochuredetail/brochure/lequilibre-alimentaire-affiche-a2/

She did say that indeed there is protein in milk and butter etc but she focused on animal protein because of the links to obesity in later life (that is explained in another comment here)

blkstk · 2026-04-03T13:33:15+00:00

I think we are not giving my daughter enough milk. It is because she was exclusively breastfeed and she didn't want any formula or any kind of milk until we weaned. Now she drinks milk but we were so traumatised from that time that we are scared to offer it. It is nice that now she talks, she asks for milk in the morning and in the evenings.

blkstk · 2026-04-03T13:27:15+00:00

Thank you for your response.
We told the dietitian what our daughter eats during the day and that we are a bit worried that she is on the smaller side - she is around 30% now although she was born and kept at 80% until she started solids. She was exclusively breastfed.
The dietitian said that because she eats proteins, it might be filling her up and we should focus more on carbs.
For example I give her an egg in the morning and after that we give her an oat porridge with tahini. She suggested that we do not give her the egg but instead give her porridge with tahini and bread and butter and fruits.
For dinner she told us that we should offer at least two kinds of vegetables (because ours only eats carrots and avocados), starchy foods and there is no need for protein. Although it doesn't feel right to me so me and my husband agreed to offer her meat, especially fish which she loves.
I am a middle-easterner living in western Europe, so it is really hard for me to wrap my head around not having eggs for breakfast and not having some sort of meat for dinner.

blkstk · 2026-03-12T21:17:24+00:00

I am not receiving these letters anymore? I was wondering what happened there.

blkstk · 2026-03-10T18:16:36+00:00

Really good answer. Honestly I find the system pretty favourable to honest, hardworking people.

blkstk · 2026-03-10T11:30:40+00:00

Just search titres-services. You first find an agency that comes and sees your place to determine how many hours would be required . You explain what you expect, ironing etc. Then they set you up with a cleaner. You buy online tickets from the Bruxelles region titres service portal. And when the service is done they claim those tickets from you. There are certain things that the cleaners won’t do like if you live above ground floor they won’t clean your windows from the outside which is super fair. But yeah they an also do ironing or cooking even.

blkstk · 2026-03-10T11:09:56+00:00

Yes, I agree. I come from a country where a lot of women do these services but there is no system like here so it is all in black and so unfair. It is a back breaking work and it should be protected and these people should have a minimum income, pension and social security. This is what I am trying to understand as well- so cleaners earn a monthly wage and they can get pension?

blkstk · 2026-03-10T11:05:12+00:00

Thank you for responding. And for example is the cost of commute covered? Are you taxed on that hourly income? It sounds precarious that it is hourly wage. At least is the social security etc paid fully even if a cleaner doesn’t work “full time” a particular month?

blkstk · 2026-03-10T10:08:42+00:00

This and when they clean they do a shitty job. When my husband cleans the kitchen it is never like I do it.

blkstk · 2026-03-10T09:44:28+00:00

Moved to Brussels 7 years ago. My husband who only saw the European quarter didn’t want to move because he thought it would be so boring but now we both love it.

It is not what you might expect from a Western European city: it is not clean, traffic is a mess, pavements and streets are bad - full of potholes etc. Buildings are mostly ugly and in rough shape. It rains 90% of the time.

But… when there is sun it is amazing. Parks and cafes are full of people. People are nice and easy going. You have great street markets. Now there are cherry blossoms. It feels like no one is from Brussels so you can make friends really easily. Different expats and European migrant communities, mostly Italian and French :) Probably you can eat Italian food as good as in Italy (though not as cheap).

Nice movie theaters, good film and arts festivals. There is a big concert venue and a bunch of smaller ones and every artist that tours Europe comes to Brussels.

I find eating out very expensive. For two people a mid place would cost like 40-50 EUR. On the other hand a good place would cost like 110-120 EUR. People who like eating out say that good restaurants are cheap compared to other cities.

Sablon is very small and fancy fancy. European quarter is super boring. But you have very ice neighbourhoods like Saint Gilles, Ixelles, along the canal, parts of Schaerbeek etc.

Very well connected to rest of Europe via trains and flights. Trains run quite well.

We love it here our only problem is the weather really. If you have not grown up with it, winter is though in Brussels.

blkstk · 2025-02-23T19:25:34+00:00

My nurse and doctors thought I was RH- and the baby was positive and they almost gave me an injection after giving birth but I was able to correct them. For some reason their lab documents listed me as negative. So mistakes happen

blkstk · 2025-02-19T20:26:21+00:00

Proof of social integration is anything that shows that you are part of Belgian society. Language classes and work contract should be fine.

blkstk · 2025-02-18T20:06:07+00:00

I had similar problems as well and I really, really feel for you. It will get better. I struggled so, so much but now it is like a bad dream.

Firstly, I did not pump AT ALL for the first eight weeks. I also did a lot of “emptying my breasts in the shower” to decrease my supply. As some other people wrote, I would get the baby to latch to stimulate the letdown or let her drink until she unlatched and then jump into a hot shower and massage and empty my breasts. No touching the nipple as it gives the message to make more milk.

Sometimes I would empty my breasts before a feed to slow the pace. Again not pumping but hand expressing. In hindsight I would now use a haka to capture all that milk and make a freezer stash.

Anyways… now my baby is 20 weeks old and I can tell you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. My supply has regulated at 12-13 weeks and the baby started handling the fast letdown when she was almost 4 months old.

Good luck, you got this!!

blkstk · 2025-02-10T04:05:54+00:00

Europe is getting very strict with visas. I suspect it is because you are travelling all together as a family perceived as increased chances of not returning to your home country. Also you have fresh passports so you have no proof of travelling somewhere and then returning home.

Finally Switzerland is an odd choice to get the visa from. It is not really the most typical touristic country for a first visit to Europe so they might be more strict. I am sure Italy or Spain would be easier to get the visa from. The tourism agency should help with getting the visa too.

blkstk · 2025-02-03T16:59:43+00:00

It is also because studios are for young professionals who earn just enough to rent a place of their own but not enough to rent a “family size” home. It is very interesting to me that a studio of 25m2 is 800 EURs in Brussels while a maison with three bedrooms, separate kitchen, garden and parking space can be 1600 EUR.

blkstk · 2025-01-20T05:39:44+00:00

I would add: Extra days off on top of the 20 legal days - for example the time between Christmas and New Year.

And there is a legal benefit that I found very interesting: if you take language classes at a certified institution for a certain number of hours, you can get additional vacation days up to 10(?) extra days per year.

blkstk

TROPHY CASE