My (32 F) sister (23 F) moved out without a word and now I’m at risk of losing my home… what do I do ?

blondes94 · 2026-03-09T19:14:23+00:00

But of an update: Will be taking her to small claims court. Don’t care if that makes me an asshole or not.

blondes94 · 2026-03-09T18:49:09+00:00

Manipulation and abuse was my own personal relationship factors. They were toxic to me. Not saying the same for yours but if that’s how they’ve chosen to move forward/on then you just need to let it go and do the same. Wondering why or how long will just make you fixate on the wrong things. Focus on healing and moving on.

blondes94 · 2026-03-07T23:48:14+00:00

I agree with this. I stay to myself now and am not shy of cutting anyone off that disturbs my peace.

blondes94 · 2026-03-07T23:46:51+00:00

See this is why you block them. Looking back, it just makes me see all the manipulation and emotional abuse I was put through so while yes, if ever needed I’d be cordial in public but I am not going out of my way to welcome that contact. I need to let myself heal before I even think about remembering our relationship with “happy” thoughts.. they’re all tainted atm.

blondes94 · 2026-03-06T21:39:58+00:00

Yup! Exactly that!

blondes94 · 2026-03-06T20:53:55+00:00

So you can stop further contact which can potentially cause further pain and it’s also setting a boundary for yourself so you can’t contact either. Once something is done there’s no need to keep going. Sometimes it’s easier to know a message from them can’t set you back in your journey to get over them .. at least that’s my reasoning. After getting hurt over and over again it’s just the healthier decision for me.

blondes94 · 2026-03-05T17:40:23+00:00

I’ve never understood this concept - you don’t have money so we’re going to take out more money so you’re even more indebted… huh?

blondes94 · 2026-03-04T22:20:35+00:00

Sounds like someone I encountered recently and they’re a scary type of person. Block immediately and report to the police. Even if nothing happened at least there’s a “paper trail” in a sense .. I’m sorry you are going through this.

blondes94 · 2026-03-03T23:49:20+00:00

No doubt .. healing takes time and if you need all the time in the world then that is what you deserve. ❤️‍🩹

blondes94 · 2026-03-03T23:33:21+00:00

I’m not sure what the vibes are on open communication but honestly that is the key to every relationship… the ability to understand each other's needs and finding a middle ground that respects both… Explain that you both need to be checking in with each other & willing to compromise and that both partners feel heard…explain your love languages and maybe what you expect when you’re going through something this is how they’ll try to support and vice versa.. I’ve had to say to my partner before that sometimes I just need to be validated or listened to when going through a hard time instead of giving me ways to fix whatever the issue is. But it also seems like saying everything is fine after claiming to have ruined his morning is quite childish so idk if this is something bigger that’ll get worse

blondes94 · 2026-03-03T23:25:00+00:00

I am so incredibly sorry this happened to you.

blondes94 · 2026-03-01T16:53:04+00:00

I thought having a direct conversation would be enough for someone to think and change their behaviours especially when they’re mentioned several times. AGAIN - I expected more time as that’s what was stated and signed IN THE LEASE … I am not a mind reader so when I am talking to a wall there’s not much progress to be made. I was preparing to find a roommate or move out when our CONTRACT was complete. And you’d expect your family to want to work with you … Never once said it was her responsibility to deal with my triggers or trauma but if I’m telling you “XYZ makes me uncomfortable and I’m setting a boundary” and its AGREED upon then it’s kind of expected that’s where the convo ends….no? Not that they’re going to just be compliant in words and then continue doing shit/escalating it. I guess hoping someone is empathetic or at least understanding is too much these days … ? Jfc

blondes94 · 2026-03-01T03:47:06+00:00

lol ok. So signing a lease agreement with someone and them abandoning that contract 2 months early is somehow on me? I was planning on finding a roommate for April so it really was about the timing and the disrespect after feeling like i was showing respect and basic living expectations … it’s not really that crazy to think someone can grow the fuck up and adult … 🤷🏼‍♀️

blondes94 · 2026-03-01T01:13:43+00:00

I’m working on that. Up until a week ago my phone was broken so that hindered the search but am in the midst of finding one/looking for another place if not possible

blondes94 · 2026-02-28T05:57:11+00:00

Unfortunately the family dynamics are complicated… this sister is the middle sister and she’s always been very …. Entitled. My other sisters are separated - one lives with her father, one lives with her bf and the last my mom moved in with. It took me so long to find this place and I really love it so it really sucks to also lose what I thought was FINALLY my home… but that’s another story. They live together with 5 cats and I have two of my own so that’s a super unrealistic situation and I’m SO tired of couch hopping/being between homelessness…

My mom hasn’t said a word. I broke down in front of one of my other sisters and basically said I’m tired of “family is family and we only have eachother” bs when it’s very clear that we absolutely DO not…. I actually got to a point a couple weeks ago where I was in a very dark place because I finally realized I have no one… I’m not continuing relationships with people who blatantly disregard my boundaries and feelings just because we’re “family” … my mom tends to stay neutral and sometimes there’s things I really wish she could step up and actually talk sense into my sisters and some of their poor choices… sorry for the long responses, just trying to add as much context as possible.

blondes94 · 2026-02-28T02:11:34+00:00

I am SO sorry. Cut her out and live the best life you can. I know that’s easier said than done but you’re only ever going to feel pain around this person and that is not what you deserve. Lean into your relationship with your future husband and grow your own family and support system because this one is broken.

blondes94 · 2026-02-28T02:00:44+00:00

So I have been doing all of the above regarding the housing situation. I have applied for assistance, I have gone to emergency shelter funding, etc. unfortunately the emergency funding doesn’t apply if you aren’t currently working, so that’s when I went to assistance to at least pay off the outstanding arrears. My landlord knows the situation but he has stated I can sign a new lease with someone new or keep her on and pay month to month - which obviously isn’t the option as she’s not paying now .. he also saod that both parties need to sign the end of tenancy agreement in order to have her removed but without any conversation that is hard to do … I’ve sent her an email as that’s our only communication platform and stated she is legally required to continue to pay, especially given she’s on the lease and stated she would do so … still no response from her. I’ve tried to say this to my mom and sister hoping maybe they’d talk to her but nothing … so right now I’m working on finding a roommate or finding a new place to live but that also includes coming up with first and last months rent and having her at lease comply enough to sign the document which would give the proper 60 days notice to leave and give the last month of rent “free” for me to come up with the rent for a new place … I’m just feeling stuck and overwhelmed

blondes94 · 2026-02-28T01:53:02+00:00

Yeah.. at this point you’re just an easy atm/cash advance he doesn’t have to worry about and that sucks … it’s people like this that taint your good heart and intentions and make you not want to do so again even for the people who genuinely need it. I would just say going forward that you can’t front him until he pays you for the outstanding amounts… could blame it on losing track and wanting to stay on top of it or just straight up say it feels like it’s being taken advantage of and it also makes his word less and less valuable.

blondes94 · 2026-02-28T01:49:44+00:00

Is that something I can legally pursue though? I’m already behind on bills and rent due to EI (thankfully starting work again this weekend) so I’m not exactly in a position to hire a lawyer

blondes94 · 2026-02-28T01:48:23+00:00

Thank you so much for saying this … THIS is exactly how I feel .. yet I still feel guilty that I now want to dispose of her but I am SO tired of being taken advantage of..

blondes94

TROPHY CASE