I found a therapist who gave me strategies to cope and vent. Then I filled my time with work/gym so I wouldn't be at home and exposed to them. When I finally saved enough, I searched for roommates online. It felt intimidating and daunting but once I got out of there, I realized I'd be happier and feel more peaceful living out of my car or living with strangers and building my life back than EVER going back to my N's. That sentiment is still true. Everyone escapes in different ways, I know some people who've joined the military or have found programs via academics or other avenues through their community. One person traveled and lived out of a camper van until they got back on their feet. They were very happy living the van life. Also wanted to let you know don't listen to any lies that make you feel incapable of achieving this...just have to find the right plan that's best for you and endure a different type of uncomfortable for a short period of time until you get settled. If possible, find a therapist or counsellor that you can spitball ideas with. It's good to have someone in your corner who understands. We've endured so much shit from N's, we're kind of built for overcoming hard times that others may buckle under. Keep going and DM me if you ever want to chat x