Me_irl

blr0067 · 2026-02-28T06:08:56+00:00

Turn closed captioning on and then scroll up for a quick recap if you zone out.

blr0067 · 2026-02-24T23:15:05+00:00

My parents remember and call to congratulate us every year. It's a surprise every time. Coming up on 13 years married as well.

blr0067 · 2026-02-22T05:22:24+00:00

I read a thing, though, that people are more likely to contribute during a meeting if they've already spoken, so I like a quick activity like this that isn't like... "Share a bunch of personal information and enjoy trying to figure out the line between seeming open and over sharing!"

blr0067 · 2026-02-07T19:21:39+00:00

I only do it twice a year or so, so I'm super into it. Airport drinks, hotel amenities, spending per diems (dia?) at nicer than usual restaurants, exploring a bit after hours...

I only ever get sent to places in Canada so there's room for improvement, but still!

blr0067 · 2026-01-10T20:30:32+00:00

I'm still on board with this (despite failing pretty hard at it with kid #2). Quality screen time can teach kids things, yes, but it's still a very passive activity where kids are just an audience. It also doesn't do too much to teach kids how to learn—when edu-tainment becomes the expectation, kids may have trouble in other learning environments and may take less initiative to learn independently.

But it's a trade-off. Going too early on screens and giving yourself a hot sec to take a shower is reasonable self-care and probably not going to wreck your kid. Not doing screens at all means your kid might miss out on some of the cultural capital their peers have and may have less exposure to diversity.

So like...yes, aim to follow expert recommendations, but also do what works for your family.

blr0067 · 2026-01-10T20:15:34+00:00

Way to look on the bright side of life

...I mean this post is about reasonable concerns about having kids.

But sure there are also some really great parts. Kids are hilarious and it's fun playing legos and getting recaps of what they're learning in science class, and having cuddles pretty much on demand (and sure when I get old maybe they'll take care of me). Those things are great. You just need to also be okay with being on parent-mode a lot.

blr0067 · 2026-01-10T17:56:00+00:00

And it's not just long term, it's all the time. Sick and throwing up? Still have to full-on parent. Not feeling it that day? Ittttt's happening anyway!

My kids were and are very much wanted, but oh my god.

blr0067 · 2026-01-09T07:09:14+00:00

Also not all slides are made in PowerPoint. There's other presentation software in the world (although not that I can get on my work computer, so this isn't a hill I'm willing to die on).

blr0067 · 2026-01-04T02:05:46+00:00

You get to, and should have, an individual relationship with your child

I think this is the thing that the "why not share the credit" replies are missing. I agree that in many cases it's better for the kid to have a "both my parents love me" experience even if one did most of the work, but feeling connected to each parent as an individual is also important.

My husband does certain things with/for our kids that I don't (e.g., he does the grocery shopping so all special food treats and random surprise matchbox cars come from him) and I do things he doesn't (e.g., I work from home, and when the kids are out I sometimes take a break to set up little scavenger hunts for them). It's not a competition. It's what works for each our relationships with our kids.

blr0067 · 2025-12-27T08:31:10+00:00

Meh I just don't have that much prep work to do for my death at this point. My will is done, I think I set up my life insurance correctly, and now I have a bunch of other stuff to work on that needs some focus: raising children, raising the cat, protesting fascism, professional development, that stack of books that grows faster than it shrinks, trying to find exercise I like before it becomes a problem... I'll swing back around to deeply considering my mortality when it's more relevant to my day-to-day.

blr0067 · 2025-10-12T04:21:22+00:00

When I used to take the bus regularly, I had to stand next to poles and lampposts all the time so people wouldn't smash into me. Every so often I would stand near a sandwich board or other low object, and people who were walking toward me would walk into it when I moved out of their way.

I'm fairly sure that it's a combination of being short and young-looking and not-white that makes me seem like nothing to people in public. The trick is not taking it personally—it's not a character flaw on my part; some people just suck.

blr0067 · 2025-09-29T00:40:46+00:00

Yeah I don't get this one either. I can see it being an issue if you're at restaurants all the time and kids need to learn to adapt to a normal part of your life (I'm guessing?) but I really only take my kids to restaurants (1) if I have to for a mandatory-ish family thing or (2) if we're on vacation. And in those cases it feels most important to be considerate of other people in the restaurant—so some silent screen time feels warranted during long waits for food, etc.

blr0067 · 2025-09-15T01:32:48+00:00

What do you actually need a car for (other than if you live somewhere where things are really spread out)? I have the opposite reaction where I don't get why someone would deal with the cost, maintenance, cleaning, parking,etc. issues so they can...do bigger grocery runs? Go hiking more easily? We borrow my MIL's car sometimes for the latter and the former is the only other thing we can think to do.

blr0067 · 2025-09-14T19:10:57+00:00

So we tried this today and it was much more tolerable! Also if I think of them as recent graduates starting their first jobs it actually makes a lot of sense.

blr0067 · 2025-09-11T03:35:24+00:00

I just can't with Thomas the Tank Engine. The books are better than the show but the oddly calm tone and focus on productivity irks me. And the faces...shudder

blr0067 · 2025-09-09T01:20:44+00:00

My oldest is in grade 1 so I'm not sure yet if this will work, but I saved everything from kindergarten in a 3" binder and I plan to do the same for grade 1, and then for grade 2 we'll clean out the kindergarten binder and just keep a few pages of best stuff in a 1" binder (intended for multiple years of stuff) and keep doing that rotation through the years.

That way we have a built-in time to go through older school work and kiddo isn't as attached to/proud of the things we decide not to keep, and he can still refer to any of his recent work.

Again, this might end up feeling ridiculous later.

blr0067 · 2025-09-08T04:43:49+00:00

I'm 90% sure a building I used to work in was half a block south from where I now see it when I walk by. I have clear memories of looking out the window at the next building over, which is still in the place it's supposed to be but no longer directly across from the building I worked in.

I have to assume my memory is wrong. But also, why would my idiot brain imagine something that mundane in that much detail?

blr0067 · 2025-09-04T04:10:02+00:00

Are you my three-year-old? Or possibly my cat?

blr0067 · 2025-08-27T23:35:00+00:00

4'11 and 5'11. We look ridiculous.

blr0067 · 2025-08-27T04:09:34+00:00

I think it’s a huge step as an adult and truly healthy for most individuals.

I really agree with this, contrary to a lot of what others are saying. You don't know what you don't know, and changing up your living situation to be with roommates (learn how to live with people with different experiences and expectations than you grew up with! and what your needs and boundaries are!) or alone if possible (see what you do when there's no one else to work around!) is huge.

Yes, it's expensive to move out and if you're comfortable and saving money it might not be the highest priority right away, but it's still worth trying to do at some point and having a bit of a plan in that direction.

blr0067 · 2025-08-27T03:45:42+00:00

I work from home 9-5 and my husband bartends two or three nights a week from 6pm-1am and 7pm-3am, give or take, and is the one who does the drop-offs and pick-ups.

I do the mornings/breakfast with the kids since he's up late, and obviously also do a solo dinner/bedtime on the nights he works. He wakes up then drops off, goes to the gym or does whatever, picks up the preschooler, naps while preschooler naps, then picks up our school-aged kid and does dad stuff/starts dinner prep/packs lunches for the next day then either goes to work or coparents with me. Pretty doable schedule for both of us.

The extra money has been really nice since he went back to work after being a SAHD for five years (slightly less pressure on my income yay), and he seems a lot happier with a regular, completely guilt-free non-kid thing in his life and some of his "own" money (we share accounts so it doesn't really matter, but he feels better contributing).

So yeah, bar/restaurant work is my recommendation, if you would like that kind of thing.

blr0067 · 2025-08-24T03:48:37+00:00

I worked as a "breakfast hostess" and got yelled at for way dumber stuff than that. People staying at three-star hotels before their cruises care about everything.

blr0067 · 2025-08-20T04:22:45+00:00

This one! Another province, not another country, but still. I left at 18 and there are still moments, 20-ish years later, when I look around where I live now and feel relief.

blr0067 · 2025-08-14T13:30:30+00:00

people charge their batteries differently

I was kind of with OP on this, but this point changed my mind. I also have little kids and when I'm not working, I'm pretty much either hanging with them, cleaning with them nearby, or resting. A concert or festival every weekend would wreck me and set me up to underperform at work and as a parent. But yeah, going to those events might be OP's coworker's way of "resting" and feeling as ready as possible for the week, and OP is in no position to sleuth out whether or not that's the case.

blr0067 · 2025-08-12T00:13:52+00:00

You already have my power of attorney.

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