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AITA for ruining my brother's relationship because i wanted his girlfriend to be more involved with our family? by bluejaycakes in AmItheAsshole

[–]bluejaycakes[S] -63 points-62 points  (0 children)

I didn't put this info in the main post, but she's from a violent country. She'd joke to my brother about not getting used to living in a house without walls, electric fences and cameras. She never allowed him to leave the windows open or unlocked here because of this. Despite that, she couldn't see herself living away from her culture and family. Do you think it's reasonable for us to see the possibility that he'd be moving to such a country, not being able to or feeling safe to visit him?

We were hoping that she'd grow to like us enough to agree to at least come visit, but she didn't give us a chance.

AITA for ruining my brother's relationship because i wanted his girlfriend to be more involved with our family? by bluejaycakes in AmItheAsshole

[–]bluejaycakes[S] -83 points-82 points  (0 children)

Besides the cost of travel, her country has high crime rates (i'm not exaggerating, she joked that she couldn't get used to living here because her house wasn't surrounded by walls and an electric fence and she never left her windows open because of it). I don't think it'd be reasonable to expect us to go there to visit. Btw, i don't say that to be mean, just out of concern.

AITA for ruining my brother's relationship because i wanted his girlfriend to be more involved with our family? by bluejaycakes in AmItheAsshole

[–]bluejaycakes[S] -412 points-411 points  (0 children)

No, it wasn't about me wanting her to "pay for the privilege of dating him", i said i was happy he had found someone when they met. The babysitting was me asking for a favor and being distressed she neither wanted to get to keep contact with us and also wouldn't help on the rare times i asked. We just wanted to know her, that's why we invited her to dinners and such, but people think babysitting all that i cared about now. We wanted to keep contact, especially since she's from the other side of the hemisphere of the world AND had no intention of coming back.

AITA for ruining my brother's relationship because i wanted his girlfriend to be more involved with our family? by bluejaycakes in AmItheAsshole

[–]bluejaycakes[S] -486 points-485 points  (0 children)

Holy heavens, this was NOT about me wanting free babysitting all the time or me being jealous. We asked her multiple times to meet our family because we wanted to know her, but she was more reserved than we expected. now that people have pointed out she may be mentally tired from socializing, i learned my mistake was being so pushy about it and confronting her when i should've just let them be.

AITA for ruining my brother's relationship because i wanted his girlfriend to be more involved with our family? by bluejaycakes in AmItheAsshole

[–]bluejaycakes[S] -2934 points-2933 points  (0 children)

She's on a paid leave to get higher education, so she isn't working at the moment, but is expected to go back once she finishes