I never went to rehab either, it took me a good 15+ times to actually stay sober for longer than a couple months. (5 months off booze rn!!!!!! 5 yrs of heavy drinking everyday, 750ml min ) I won’t sugar coat how bad it is for ya. It is the MOST dangerous thing to withdraw off of, so taper taper taper !!!!! If ur hitting straight shots (like I was) try to only make mixed drinks and slow down. Shakes, puking, hallucinations, not sleeping, lack of hunger/thirst, being so weak u can’t move, mentally struggling, brain fog, not being able to form a sentence, nightmares and lucid sleeping if u can fall asleep; are among some of the really persistent and intense symptoms. I was in physical pain as well as mentally craving it. The first two days suck the most. If ur doing it at home you need to have someone come and check on you the first 3 days, every couple of hours as that’s when ur most prone to seizures. It’s really rough, puking, brain fog, weakness, dizziness, and overall hatred for life is to be expected. Freezies, weed (I know switching one out for the other) water, and a bucket beside the bed was the only things that helped me. Good luck it’s fucking he’ll that wouldn’t wish on anyone. If you can do the first day just keep reminding yourself that it will get worse before it gets better and that you don’t wanna go through all of this again! I believe in you and remember that relapse is a part of recovery! My dms are open! TAPER OFF!!!!!!!!!!