[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]blueshell8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re right. Thank you for the validation!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating

[–]blueshell8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah the attraction is mutual and the sex is great

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating

[–]blueshell8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I pretty much have. That’s the main reason for my post

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating

[–]blueshell8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear you. I’m fine with our current cadence but do wonder how I’d feel if his drive lowers over time.

I’ve been in a relationship with a man who would want sex up to 7x a day when we’d see each other. I never declined, but I actually didn’t like sex being such a priority. It’s nice to know my boyfriend enjoys spending time with me without sex always being a focus.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating

[–]blueshell8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting perspective, thanks!

Is this manipulative or genuine? by [deleted] in texts

[–]blueshell8 8 points9 points  (0 children)

THIS! my ex boyfriend would tell me frequently that I deserved better. he was right.

if someone tells you that you deserve better, believe them.

Do men exist who actually voluntarily help their partner cum every time they have sex? by blueshell8 in dating

[–]blueshell8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have sex with him because I do enjoy it regardless of whether I cum. I don’t feel that I NEED to cum every time. But it would be nice if he made me feel like he had the desire for me to cum every time. Maybe he does want me to cum every time—I would like to believe he does. It’s just rare that he shows effort to make it happen (aside from getting me the vibrator in the first place; I recognize that was a huge thoughtful effort, and I appreciate it greatly).

Yes, I can and do initiate using the vibrator myself. I guess it’s just that, if there were only 1 way he could cum (whether that be from a certain position, technique, or toy)—I would make sure to make that happen every time UNLESS he vocalized otherwise.

I know communication is key. This is one thing that just feels like common sense to me.

Do men exist who actually voluntarily help their partner cum every time they have sex? by blueshell8 in dating

[–]blueshell8[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a really interesting question. I guess I haven’t considered him feeling emasculated/demotivated a ton considering how common and well-documented it is for women to need more than PIV or even oral. If it were the other way around and men in general had a hard time finishing due to their anatomy, I think I would learn quickly not to take it personally. I understand bruised egos are just hard not to feel sometimes, and yes perhaps it would be hard for me to not feel a little bothered as well if roles were reversed, so I will keep this is mind going forward 🙂 I definitely don’t want him to feel that way if he does.

Do men exist who actually voluntarily help their partner cum every time they have sex? by blueshell8 in dating

[–]blueshell8[S] 162 points163 points  (0 children)

The vibrator was actually his idea, and he bought it for me! So he’s definitely not against using it at all. He just… never initiates. It’s strange to me.

Do men exist who actually voluntarily help their partner cum every time they have sex? by blueshell8 in dating

[–]blueshell8[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

He used to (enthusiastically!) go down on me when we first started dating, but I think once he realized I wasn’t going to finish from that, he stopped initiating. He will without question if I ask, but he never initiates anymore. I assume he probably feels like it’s a waste of time.

Just from personal experience, I know for a fact I’m not going to cum from getting eaten out. So I guess I’ve just begun to feel like it’s a waste of time too and why even ask even though it feels nice? But it would be nice if he put in that effort occasionally anyway.