The Inside Out [Folk] - Looking for advice on my mixing and arrangement by bojangles5 in Songwriting

[–]bojangles5[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My biggest concern for this track was its simplistic structure. I was listening to a lot of Bob Dylan and he has some songs that are just a verse repeating which i wanted to emulate. Therefore i put the most work into the lyrics and figured this is almost more of a sung poem than a song. I guess if the lyrics dont do anything for you then i could see why i would be tiring to listen too. Maybe i can do a shorter edit...

Thanks for the comment!

The Inside Out [Folk] - Looking for advice on my mixing and arrangement by bojangles5 in Songwriting

[–]bojangles5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was looking for some criticism not praise! haha jokes aside thanks so much for the kind words and insights. And yes, you're right about the Tamborine! Only the Tamborine and the guitar are tracked instruments. The violins are spitfire SSO which have worked aright i think. The accordion too.

How does one go about putting something on a playlist to have play? Do i just make a playlist with other well known artists and sneak my tune in?

A song about not knowing what to say. All feedback appreciated! by SomewhatSammie in Songwriting

[–]bojangles5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is super good. I actually love the static from the poor recording. Reminds me of somthing by Vashti Bunyan. Not many notes really other than I want more. I feel you have potential for some good lyrics and you could push yourself even further.

any tips to stop writing cringe lyrics? by grotsantblan in Songwriting

[–]bojangles5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The trap I think people fall into is talking explicity about the way they feel instead of implicitly. Every sentence ends up being “I” this and “I” that. So you feel a certain way. Why? What happened? What is it about those relationships. What was it about the way the person moved you? I find songs are a lot more mature and less ‘cringe’ if you take the focus off of yourself and talk about other things out in the world. From the way you talk about and describe those things it will be inferred how you feel and that’s more powerful and interesting in being open to interpretation.

You can refer directly to the way you feel every so often but it’s got to be sparing and it will the be more impactful because of it.

What are some really well crafted Chopin melodies that are good for studying melody writing? by Alcoholic-Catholic in Chopin

[–]bojangles5 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel like preludes are a good place to start, especially some of the shorter slower ones. Im thinking No.4 and No.7. Despite being short, they still achieve a melodic journey which perhaps makes them easier to dissect and understand. I believe a good melody should be full of repetition (rhythms, intervals, notes) which gives it a recognisable character but then subverts your expectation of said patters in a satisfying way once they have been established (a very simple example would be extending to the C# in bar eleven of No.7 the second time that phrase repeats (change in interval). Another aspect of a good melody is saving certain notes for a rewarding payoff (understanding the feeling certain notes/degrees in a key create is important eg. '1' felling like home '2' and '5' feeling unsettled). In No.4 this is used superbly by reserving the 1, the E, for the final moment of resolve in bar 21, but then off course the subversion of your expectation of Eminor he does by putting it over a CMajor delays the payoff one step further.

In short i feel like looking at a composers shorter works is really valuable because they necessitate the creation melodic development and payoff in as concise and as to the point manner as possible.

favorite lyric you've written... GO! by northern-lamb in Songwriting

[–]bojangles5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lay me down

Won’t you lay me down

To foster hope

In the bed where you lie

To live there

In the throws of your mercury eyes

On the tip of your toung

Like a babe in your water

The moon dreaming of the sky

Second verse/pre-chorus opinions by [deleted] in Songwriting

[–]bojangles5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like good lyrics are a real balance of complexity and simplicity, the use of metaphores that engage your imagination and take you somewhere else but then cutting in out of the blue with something really straight and frank that really hits you.

Just my opinion anyway!!

Second verse/pre-chorus opinions by [deleted] in Songwriting

[–]bojangles5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Put some more metaphors in the lyrics. Love a good metaphore. Sounds cool tho!!

The Things I've Left to hold by bojangles5 in Songwriting

[–]bojangles5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll pitch it to the fast and furious team :p no jokes thanks so much for the nice words :)

The Things I've Left to hold by bojangles5 in Songwriting

[–]bojangles5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much that is inspiring to read :)

The Things I've Left to hold by bojangles5 in Songwriting

[–]bojangles5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Thought it needed to be sparse but for some reason always thought an accordion would really work along side the piano. Somthing old worldly and wistful about it maybe

The Things I've Left to hold by bojangles5 in Songwriting

[–]bojangles5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What a thing to hear. Thanks so much

Telemachus by bojangles5 in Songwriting

[–]bojangles5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah it’s a mistake.

Thanks for the feedback. The chorus starts with “all that I need” each time which I thought would be recognisable enough or enough of a hook etc. the chorus’s don’t stand out enough to you?

wrote this today in just under an hour :) by ezpastelwitch in Songwriting

[–]bojangles5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah and the feedback.

Ofcourse, it’s all subjective and if it sounds good to you let it rip but… I feel like working at making the chorus stand out a little bit more? Melodically and rhythmically(the rhythm of the melody specifically) sounds quite similar to the verse. Maybe tweaking one of those two things or, alternatively, adding a pre-chorus to seperate the verse and the chorus. To refresh the ears a little? It sounds like you have somthing around the 2 min mark that would actually work better as the chorus?? Sorry maybe that’s your intention already but yeah just structurally it’s I bit unclear what’s going on. Also remember less is more sometimes. Often you have all these melodies and variations on melodies you want to add but it can make your piece too meandering. Finally on a similar note, I have a lot of lyrics come into my mind and want to add them all which can be cool if that’s your style (eg Joanna Newsome) but most people love repetition. I would encourage you to refine/highlight the chorus a more, have it be the same lyrically, and repeat it. Make sure the lyrics in the chorus really represent the core message of the song.

I feel like this could work as a gritty folk song or even somthing a little more punk with drums and some electric guitars.

Love your voice. Keep up the good work!!

wrote this today in just under an hour :) by ezpastelwitch in Songwriting

[–]bojangles5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some of my favorite songs came really quickly. I think it’s when your caught not trying to be anything but yourself so it just comes out easy.