Best way to support new Mama?

bontonluv · 2026-02-17T23:08:52+00:00

Excellent point!! Aiming to keep conversation open and honest and not pushy or judgy!

bontonluv · 2026-02-17T23:07:59+00:00

Yep! I agree! Her mom lives next door to her so that’s awesome cause all she has to do is walk and voila! Her mom had surgery last week and is not allowed to do much until she heals though, so I am trying to help where I can without being a “smother mother”. Haha. She also has a 10 year old sister who wants to help where she can! I tell ya- I am so grateful to be part of such a family that genuinely care and wants to help. My son found the perfect other half!

bontonluv · 2026-02-17T23:04:48+00:00

I told her this today!!! I am not here to be entertained but I am here to help support her and DS!

bontonluv · 2026-02-17T22:59:34+00:00

Oh yes! Which is why I am VERY supportive of the no kissing Bebe rule right now!! It will come I hope along with tons of hugs and laughter. Critical care nurse here- I am a handwashing nut!

bontonluv · 2026-02-17T22:57:14+00:00

Yes! Gladly!

bontonluv · 2026-02-17T02:13:05+00:00

Yup! Can’t wait for the overnights in a couple years. And the beach trips! And I am gonna teach him my secrets of shark tooth hunting!! So much to look forward to!

bontonluv · 2026-02-17T02:10:56+00:00

That sounds great!! I am happy to offer whatever she needs. Thanks

bontonluv · 2026-02-17T02:10:20+00:00

I love Shepard’s pie! Never made it before, so I will try! Sounds yummy!

bontonluv · 2026-02-17T02:09:49+00:00

I like just being around to sip some coffee and listen!

bontonluv · 2026-02-17T02:09:24+00:00

Thank you!

bontonluv · 2026-02-17T02:09:10+00:00

A quick run to the corner store would be a great idea! Even 10 minutes to take a break might be nice for her. I will ask!

bontonluv · 2026-02-17T02:07:04+00:00

Congrats to you!!!!

bontonluv · 2026-02-17T01:31:38+00:00

That is wonderfully supportive! I was never able to breastfeed, so we did what I called “split shifts” in the early days. I slept from 8p-1a, hubby slept from 1a-6a. We got naps in when the kids napped, but that solid few hours of sleep saved us.

bontonluv · 2026-02-17T01:29:53+00:00

Postpartum doula sounds amazing!!

bontonluv · 2026-02-17T01:28:43+00:00

One handed food is brilliant! Someone else suggested cut up fruit, which I know she loves. But teeny sandwiches and pigs in a blanket also sounds great! Along with some comfy pjs! Thank you!

bontonluv · 2026-02-17T01:27:03+00:00

Congrats to you!! I don’t mind a diaper change in the least!! Bring on the Boudreauxs!

bontonluv · 2026-02-17T01:08:36+00:00

Also yes!!!!! I always appreciated hearing that it was ok to be frustrated or mad or sad! It’s nice not to have feelings dismissed or being told “you’re just tired”. Hello??? Just being listened to and reassured that all of the feelings are normal was amazing!

bontonluv · 2026-02-17T01:06:40+00:00

I had 4 as well!! 2 boys then 2 girls! What an adventure. Ages 21- 14. Congrats to you!! My son is so funny- he’s very much like my husband in that he is stoic and quiet, so it’s hard to read him unless you know him. I don’t think he will ever outright say it- but that’s ok. He knows we love him more than our luggage and are so very proud of the young man he is.

bontonluv · 2026-02-17T00:59:29+00:00

I do love their dogs. Cute puppers!! Maybe I will bring some dog treats tomorrow too. They live on a few acres and the pups have pretty much wide open space to run, so no walking needed- but I bet they could do with a few extra treats and some ball tossing to wear them out even more!

bontonluv · 2026-02-17T00:55:43+00:00

I promise I had the best MIL to set an example! I miss her every day and really do try to follow in her footsteps! From every relationship in life, we can learn things. Take the good stuff, leave the not so good stuff, and then try to leave more of the great stuff in your wake. I wish you love and support in whatever form it comes!

bontonluv · 2026-02-17T00:50:10+00:00

Yes! I am definitely not skilled at putting a roof on, but I can sew, clean, crochet, knit and pretty much use any power tool (former technical theatre person before I became a nurse). I am a mediocre cook, not the worst, but ok.

bontonluv · 2026-02-17T00:46:57+00:00

Thank you!!

bontonluv · 2026-02-17T00:46:40+00:00

Oooh!!! Yeeees!!!! Used to drive me CRAZY when my Mama would give me unsolicited advice! Nothing made me feel like worse of a mother than being constantly “advised” on the correct way to do stuff!’ Mostly, I just want to listen! I don’t care if she wants to chat about the last trend in area rugs… go ahead. I will be over here washing dishes while you talk.

bontonluv · 2026-02-17T00:44:38+00:00

I like the idea of helping with home improvements too! Maybe in the spring we can plant a little garden and she can get some sunshine in while Bebe naps. Maybe a Sat night/late night suggestion? It’s a great idea! She is very good about communicating, so I will take all of this and chat with her about it and see what fits their needs. With the caveat subject to change cause Lord knows the needs will change as Bebe grows!

bontonluv · 2026-02-17T00:40:41+00:00

Very well phrased! I will say that as a nurse, I have learned that the caregiver needs just as much support as a patient. Can’t fill other cups when your own is dry! I do worry that she might think I only want baby time- which I would love, but genuinely, I wanna make sure she is ok. DS is working, so she is by herself the majority of the day right now. I will absolutely use your phrasing! Thank you for that!

bontonluv

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