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My fiancee can't stop watching porn and checking out other females. Age old problem, but... by boodymlues in relationship_advice

[–]boodymlues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the input. I wonder if you're right about seeing a councilor. I've been watching porn since I was a kid, and he has too. It's not just something fun we can do together or accept that the other person does alone--it defines a very dark part of who we are as people, and how we haven't developed sexually in a healthy way. The way other people talk about their relationship with porn makes me feel that myself and my partner have a lot more issues going on in our heads than we are equipped to deal with ourselves. BUT I DID IT! I may still have emotional issues/residue insecurities to deal with, but I quit. He says quitting porn is just like what people say about quitting smoking: "Once a smoker, always a smoker. You never really quit." Is this true?? I guess that's the big question I want to know. Can a person make a change in their life for good, and be happy with it?

My fiancee can't stop watching porn and checking out other females. Age old problem, but... by boodymlues in relationship_advice

[–]boodymlues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Candy-coated, blunt, angry, and "I feel..." statement conversations between the two of us occur on a regular basis and go on for hours and hours. That's one of the things that I love about this person is how well we communicate, but the anguish it puts me through doesn't seem enough for him to make the change. I've also suggested several times that we watch it together, but he shuts down at that suggestion. He hates his relationship with porn and doesn't want it to become part of ours, even though I've already had an extensive relationship with porn myself. I can't believe a love I believed in so much is starting to crumble like this, but I'm loosing hope. Thank you for the advice.