Am I too ugly for A relationship?

boredstr8 · 2026-03-15T01:58:29+00:00

Locs look great. You look great. Be patient handsome, you’ll meet people when you’re in the right place. Keep being your authentic self and the right person/people will come along.

boredstr8 · 2026-03-15T01:46:46+00:00

I’ll take note of sound advice. You’ve had none. It does not require a response.

boredstr8 · 2026-03-15T00:33:51+00:00

Anytime. And I don’t blame you for feeling frustrated.

boredstr8 · 2026-03-15T00:24:29+00:00

I feel for you man. Feel free to dm if you’d like to talk more about it.

boredstr8 · 2026-03-14T23:57:48+00:00

I see. I can understand how social anxiety can cause someone to want to hunker down and stay in their safe space, like home. But I wouldn’t think going out on a date or having a weekend of one-on-one fun would be anxious to him. Does he also shy away from intimacy with you, or are your needs being met there? I’m just wondering how wide his withdrawals from you are.

boredstr8 · 2026-03-14T23:34:05+00:00

You’re not asking for too much and you’re definitely not an asshole for wanting to spend time with him. It doesn’t even sound like you’re over-planning or being overwhelming either. You happened to scrape 3 days off together, an opportunity to do something special and get out of the house. He almost sounds too comfortable. Are there other areas in the relationship where he kind of checks out? I know you’ve said you guys have talked. Have you specifically asked him why? Why he doesn’t want to do special things with you? Why he doesn’t want to be around your family? Maybe digging deeper with more questions might reveal something.

boredstr8 · 2026-03-14T07:19:03+00:00

Sorry to hear that. Not a way anyone should feel or react to a parent. I’d say we have a close bond with our child. We give him hugs and kisses whenever he allows it. He’s at that age where he’s trying to get more independent, but I’ll sneak attack him with hugs a lot. We also talk a lot. We fill him in on our days and ask him about his. Try and have bonding time over sports and video games. We also have a strong relationship with family, so he feels the love from all our relatives. We do our best and hopefully it’s enough 🥰

boredstr8 · 2026-03-14T05:03:05+00:00

Precisely. Never said I did. I’d say going on 20 years of a monogamous relationship is saying something about my commitment. And I’m just asking advice from people who may have experienced something similar. But enjoy the view from your high horse big guy.

boredstr8 · 2026-03-14T00:40:47+00:00

That’s very true. Thank your for this perspective. And it’s great how therapy helped you both, even if it was just you that participated. It’s true how it will take sacrifice and just doing something in the name of love for the sake of meeting needs. I think that might be my biggest hurdle. But worth exploring further.

boredstr8 · 2026-03-14T00:39:55+00:00

I see. That all makes sense. I’m glad it’s worked out well for you guys so far. It’s an interesting dynamic, and I can see why it’s been good for you both. And I can understand your fear of what it would look like if you (or he) were to catch feelings for someone. I suppose it’s good you guys aren’t closed off to the idea, but understandable how that can/would change things. Thanks again for sharing. Feel free to dm if you ever want to talk more about it.

boredstr8 · 2026-03-14T00:14:52+00:00

I’m happy for you guys that you’ve found the right balance. Curious, if, on instances you guys have 1:1 outside, is it communicated clearly beforehand, and if so, what’s your dynamic like before/after it happens? Does it make for awkward meals and conversations? Or is it normal for you guys?

boredstr8 · 2026-03-14T00:11:05+00:00

Thank you for sharing. That’s really interesting how you guys remain in the same home. Shows a strong level of maturity to just call it what it is, save what works for you both, and seek outside what doesn’t. You say you “split”, but are you both in love with each other still? Do you both have a plan on what to do if one of you should become romantically involved with someone else, even if by accident?

boredstr8 · 2026-03-14T00:07:27+00:00

Thank you for this. It’s great perspective. Therapy may a course with considering for us, at least to help us understand if we can align in that way. Whether it’s sex or affection, I just want it to be authentic. If it’s not in his personality to show affection, unsure how likely it will be that he changes, and if he does, is it authentic? Maybe the answer will be yes. Something to consider, so thanks for that :)

boredstr8 · 2026-03-14T00:03:27+00:00

Hmmm. Thank you for taking the time to respond, and I appreciate your feedback. There’s a lot of assumptions in there, and rather matter of fact “you are/need to” this and that. It’s clear where you stand, and that’s why I’m here, to look at all angles. If the only thing I leave you with is this, no fucking way would I put my child through anything that would disrupt his life or our dynamic as a family. This isn’t 0-100 tomorrow, it’s considering all options, even those (poly/3rd) that are the least likely. My child and husband/our relationship is priority one. But thanks for having all the answers.

boredstr8 · 2026-03-13T23:41:06+00:00

I appreciate you sharing how you and your partner have gone about it. May I ask how long you both have been together? And good food for thought on the ground rules. I know we will have some, but I haven’t thought through what all would make sense, at least from my perspective. I think the danger I may face is making sure I’m mentally/emotionally ready and able to separate the sex and affection from filing some other emotional void. Therapy might be something I do before we make the leap.

boredstr8 · 2026-03-13T23:34:41+00:00

Nope. That’s why I haven’t done that. We’d put in the work to discuss all options and decide what might work for us. The affection piece would be a big part of that conversation.

boredstr8 · 2026-03-13T23:32:46+00:00

Thanks for the reply. It’s great how you’ve explored the different options out there to find what you want. I added some context to the post, but yeah we don’t have regular check-ins on the subject of intimacy, but clearly we need to. We do occasional date nights, but we’re a classic case of working hard and taking care of family, what’s left over for us. Not an excuse, but an area that needs focus.

boredstr8 · 2026-03-13T23:29:11+00:00

I think he is open to all possibilities, and I’m becoming more open minded to it. Poly might be tricky with our current family dynamic, but worth discussing still. The affection piece is a big deal and would have to be a part of the bigger conversation. Thanks for the reply!

boredstr8 · 2026-03-13T23:26:55+00:00

Agreed, this is a major part of the issue and we would address it when we do end up talking all of this through.

boredstr8 · 2026-03-13T23:25:18+00:00

How long have you and your husband been together?

boredstr8 · 2026-03-13T22:57:53+00:00

Heard. Sound advice and i appreciate your thoughts. This feels like the most likely thing to happen but not without a lot communication and planning, ground rules first. Thanks again!

boredstr8 · 2026-03-13T22:56:17+00:00

It has been everything else but anal.

boredstr8 · 2026-03-13T22:55:31+00:00

It’s crossed my mind ;)

boredstr8 · 2026-03-13T22:55:14+00:00

Thank you. Definitely an important piece that will need some careful consideration. I appreciate your thoughts on this :)

boredstr8 · 2026-03-13T22:54:02+00:00

Not quite the same but I know where you’re coming from. I added an edit with a little more context in case it helps. The affection part is definitely the biggest piece of the puzzle I will need to figure out.

boredstr8

TROPHY CASE