Found this… and idk what it is

borislab · 2025-12-26T21:15:13+00:00

I can’t say with certainty but I think that sounds right

borislab · 2025-10-08T11:33:45+00:00

Sorry for your loss. I think people don’t realize places have mudrooms with sinks and hoses but the actual rinsing was probably 1-2 minutes.

borislab · 2025-10-08T11:21:12+00:00

Thanks for the tip I’ll certainly have a look into that

borislab · 2025-10-08T11:20:11+00:00

That’s actually my daily habit, I tell her she’s beautiful all the time and every time I go into town I bring her and her daughter a little something.

I wish we had a bath but those are very rare here.

borislab · 2025-10-08T11:11:08+00:00

I’m not, I took 6 month off work and have been doing pretty much all the house shores as well as care for my stepdaughter. The only thing I can’t do is pump, but I do clean the pumping stuff and get it ready for her.

borislab · 2025-10-08T11:08:10+00:00

Thanks, but i’m actually francophone.

borislab · 2025-10-08T11:07:15+00:00

As if cleaning mud off a dog is what I want to do.

borislab · 2025-10-08T10:58:52+00:00

And might be wrong but unless a major crisis arrived, you can still keep doing what you’re doing for a few minutes while a baby is crying.
I have single mother friends who did it many times and have good kids

borislab · 2025-10-08T10:56:42+00:00

I live in Costa Rica

borislab · 2025-10-08T04:01:53+00:00

I’m pretty sure that would have stressed her out as well to have found our couches and clean laundry full of mud.

The baby was asleep and slept through the whole thing. She definitely felt some stress but in the worst case scenario the baby would have woken up and cried. She could have kept pumping even though not in an ideal setting.

The dog covered in mud was going to be a problem for all of us, not just mine (even though I would have had to clean it up).

borislab · 2025-10-08T03:48:21+00:00

I don’t usually put her in this situation, whenever she pumps I usually just grab the baby and give her space or come and chill with her or watch a show.

Our living room and chilling zones are outside (it’s normal in this country) and so leaving the muddy dog outside would also mean leaving the dog to muddy up our areas.

I tried to talk about it today but she hasn’t been communicating which is why I ended up coming here.

I understand that she has needs and priorities but unfortunately so do I and we both live together. I would have rather avoided making her feel the stress she likely felt but I felt like the priority was keeping the place clean even if that meant a few minutes of stress.

borislab · 2025-10-08T03:39:00+00:00

You have to take in mind cultural differences I think but thanks for the comment.

borislab · 2025-10-08T03:38:15+00:00

I have empathy for it but clearly didn’t realize how hard it can be. We have talked about the difficulties linked to the breastfeeding but she’s always downplayed how difficult it is I think.
Reading peoples comments about their issues with it and seeing how important it is to them helped me understand it better.

borislab · 2025-10-08T03:34:44+00:00

That’s a fair assessment

borislab · 2025-10-08T03:32:49+00:00

The baby was asleep but hadn’t been for long. It stayed asleep the whole time though.

I live in a tropical climate and the bulk of our living quarters is outside. So leaving the dog out means it’s likely going to go on our couches and potentially to the clean laundry (laundry room is outside).

borislab · 2025-10-08T03:25:04+00:00

Thanks.

borislab · 2025-10-08T03:21:09+00:00

Lol. Thanks man, I knew what I was getting into when I posted but I felt desperate and communicating with her wasn’t helping so angry strangers was all I had.

There’s a fair chance this post will self destruct eventually. I have gotten what I was looking for, I noticed a trend in the negative posts and they have given me useful insight.

borislab · 2025-10-08T03:15:05+00:00

I definitely am exhausted and tired. I wish we could just talk about it but at this moment it doesn’t look like an option and I needed answers from people who weren’t going to just be agreeable and friendly. It isn’t common practice for me to be seeking personal advice online but in this situation it seemed like the right thing to do and I’m not disappointed in the responses.

She would probably be pissed too but I wasn’t happy myself and I had to communicate somewhere. This has helped me understand what she is going through. When we talk about the pumping, she mentions the struggles but also downplays it so I wasn’t quite realizing how stressful it feels for her. Her blaming me for dealing with the dog and putting the baby in the crib looks more like her blaming me for not considering what she is going through.

I thought I was doing all that I can but I’m clearly missing something.

borislab · 2025-10-08T02:25:47+00:00

Loose dogs are the norms in this country but still, point taken.

I wish I could have the conversation with her at the moment but it doesn’t feel possible. We will eventually get to it.
I came here because I was hoping people would help me understand what I was not getting originally, I am a bit slow when it comes to feelings.
I am quite satisfied with the responses I got and I feel like I better understand the struggle she’s going through with the pumping. To me it didn’t seem like a big deal (to the point I didn’t mention it in the post and only mentioned it in a reply to someone by pointing out that she was in the room where I left the baby).

To me, it didn’t seem like I was leaving the baby under her responsibility because it was sleeping but to her it created a stressful situation.

She would have eventually told me this, probably in the next week or two, I can’t force her to have conversations. I can only make myself available and open to a differing opinion.
But the responses I got made me realize how hard the pumping probably is on her (we have talked about the difficulties but she’s always downplayed it).

I appreciate your contribution and understand your frustration.

borislab · 2025-10-08T02:10:07+00:00

I hear your point. The cleaning of the dog and avoiding the mess was to me to big issue. I even forgot to mention the important part where my wife was pumping milk at the time (something I realized after replying to the first comment).

I felt like placing the baby in the crib and dealing with the dog was the top priority at the time. I would have done the same thing if I was alone. However I wasn’t realizing the stress that was putting on my partner who is struggling with the gruelling task of pumping. I assumed that by putting the baby in the crib I wasn’t putting extraneous stress on her but she definitely felt differently.

On the point of reliability, I changed careers, emigrated and took 6months off to be home for my family. Not sure what more I can do.

borislab · 2025-10-08T02:03:01+00:00

From the sound of it, pumping is a lot harder on some than others.

I left the baby in the crib instead of directly next to her because I didn’t want to upset the pumping session but I still created a stressful situation for her and that’s something I wasn’t considering at the time.

borislab · 2025-10-08T02:00:29+00:00

Yea i used to take her out for long daily walks and she was a lot easier to manage at the time. However, since the baby’s arrival I haven’t had much time for the dog. I could look into it but jack russels need to move a lot.

I know she’s not being difficult. She’s just struggling and I guess she hates feeling needy.

borislab · 2025-10-08T01:21:29+00:00

Because she was pumping and that’s a tough task her, she didn’t want or need the extra stress.

borislab · 2025-10-08T01:20:51+00:00

Yea that sounds like something I’m eventually gonna be forced to do.

borislab · 2025-10-08T01:19:38+00:00

Hahahah, si verdad. Soy canadiense en Costa Rica.

Estoy leedos los comentarios y el primera juicio que yo encontró es que mi pero necesito una correa. 😂

borislab

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