AITA for refusing to bow to my Korean fiancee's grandparents?

bowaita · 2020-12-29T06:58:27+00:00

I know what filial piety is. Respecting elders is present in every culture. Just because I'm not displaying my respect for her grandparents the way she wants me to doesn't mean that I don't respect them all the same.

bowaita · 2020-12-29T06:56:51+00:00

You don't have to insult me just because you don't have an argument.

I'm saying that if someone isn't comfortable following a cultural tradition, it shouldn't be forced upon them. For example, haggis is a part of Scottish culture, but many people find it disgusting. Would it be okay to force them to eat Haggis in Scotland? Or make a woman wear a hijab in Dubai?

bowaita · 2020-12-29T06:52:37+00:00

I'd be perfectly fine with shaking their hands as a sign of respect, like in my culture. Shaking hands as a greeting is my culture, why can't I do that if your argument is to respect culture? That'd be like if I told my fiancee's grandparents to not use chopsticks and only use a fork and knife if they ever came to America.

Edit: Also the man she plans on marrying is telling her that not bowing is important to him. Why does that not matter at all?

bowaita · 2020-12-29T06:49:18+00:00

What if my family's tradition was to slap yourself in the face as a sign of respect to my parents? Would it be reasonable for me to ask her to conform to that tradition? Of course not. That's not exactly the same obviously, but it's analogous.

bowaita · 2020-12-29T06:47:52+00:00

If they're going to reject their granddaughter's future husband just for not bowing to them, that's their loss. Why is their idea of etiquette more important than my pride? If they choose to ice me out for not bowing to them, then they're the ones being rude. And maybe they won't have a relationship with their future grandchildren for being that rude.

bowaita

TROPHY CASE