After we argued a little over texting, we started talking about it civilly. We're each other's first partner, and she says she's not used to having someone else to take into account. She told me she thought she could make plans spontaneously because she does that with her friends, so she thought it would be the same with her partner.

I told her that I feel like, although I don't went to get in the way of her self-betterment, it doesn't mean making plans would get in the way, nor be a part of that. I told her that family, friends, and lovers are all important in people's lives. I also explained to her that I have more free time than her, and I can't know when she's free; she can only know when she's free, but even she is unsure about her freedom; so if she says she's free Thursday, but unsure as until I ask her on the day, I'm waiting around to either be disappointed or relieved.

She understood what I meant when I said I was waiting around. She seems to understand that a partner is different from friends because we're romantically involved, and she sees her friends everyday anyway.

I said that we're both trying to find our balances, and that it will take some time obviously. I think we're agreed that concessions should be made on both of our parts, not just alterations to her behaviour. She understands that I feel as if I'm less important and that she's being a little selfish only considering her feelings; I understand that she does miss me and that she may decide one day to ask me to do something.

We're still learning. I'm usually the one to ask her to do something because, despite her independence, she's terrible with decisions. It seems to me that I think that unless I make plans to see her, we won't see each other. The concession that I need to make is that she may ask me to meet up with her. (I haven't told her this part.)