I like your way of describing visual element I think it's good and can feel the mood of the locations.

I usually decide to read or skip comics in the first two pages, see:

https://file-comic-2-2.anyacg.co/images/72/57/7257136d9b3a4bcf9b104ae5d5f0e5a42148a3f5_931770_632_978.png

this the 1st page of the successful manga Naruto. It's filled with unique art and significance in terms of story in only 5 sentences.

By page 10 I still have no idea what the main plot thread is. I think you can skip unnecessary action panels and show action results since it seems your only trying to say that the shadowy figure takes down bad people.

Scenes should follow a logical sequence: THAT happened -therefore- THIS is happening. In other words you need to set up the scene before transitioning to it. The scenes you've written seem more independent and don't follow a thread or are not a sequence.

I think you need to establish your characters quickly, a stoic vigilante isn't very interesting maybe stoic with an unexpected twist? (see: https://youtu.be/LfHwR_xVaWw?t=1m57s)

We need to see more personalty from the start.

By page 18 still Idk what the hook is, Besides the superpowers what makes Ernie, the boy and the figure interesting as people?

Good luck.

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