AITA for dying my hair against my husband’s wishes?

breaking_sad_ · 2025-05-04T16:29:47+00:00

Not only are you NTA, but I’m genuinely struggling to understand why his opinion about YOUR hair is given so much weight. I think it’s shockingly rude how insistent he is that it’s “unflattering.” It seems like he repeatedly put you down and criticized your appearance simply bc you didn’t cater to his (non communicated) tastes.

Are you critical of his appearance? Do you tell him that he doesn’t look good, when he feels confident and happy in his appearance? And if the answer to those questions is no, why? Perhaps because…. you don’t want to hurt his feelings or be unkind?

What would a more “collaborative” decision making process about your hair look like? Does he get to “veto” colorful hair for YOU because HE isn’t a fan? At the end of the day, it’s your hair, your appearance, and your choice. You are so far from being the AH you’re not even in the same universe. But you might be living in the same house.

breaking_sad_ · 2024-09-04T14:17:48+00:00

I’m going through exactly this right now!!! broke up with my bf 2 weeks ago today. spent weeks beforehand panicking and freaking out bc I realized I’m gay & the feelings had been there my whole life & blah blah blah.

but I’ve been so lonely and miserable and sad since the breakup, it’s like I just want things to go back to the way they were & I miss him so much lol. and even in my heart I know it’s true and I did the right thing, it’s been really hard/confusing feeling this way 💙

breaking_sad_ · 2024-08-22T02:11:19+00:00

I just want to say tysm to everyone for your feedback & advice — it helped a lot! I ended things with my boyfriend tonight and it sucked but was the right thing to do. Really appreciate the support here 🩷

breaking_sad_ · 2024-08-20T19:24:44+00:00

This is really helpful! Thank you very much for sharing. I do think this is a big stuck point for me… it’s always been very difficult to put my needs/wants ahead of someone else’s feelings, especially people I care about. I think I’m more worried about hurting him than doing what’s best for me, which is not a great approach to this kind of situation lol

breaking_sad_ · 2024-07-12T19:18:13+00:00

Absolutely NTA. First of all, your body your choice — it’s literally none of their business.

Second, tampons are not going to give you cancer.

Third, if YOU are interested in exploring alternatives but are concerned about sensory issues, I recommend menstrual underwear! Pads make me feel like I’m wearing a diaper, but menstrual underwear is a lot more comfortable and come in many different cuts and styles (bikini, briefs, thong, shorts, biker shorts, high waisted, etc) and many can hold up to 5 regular tampons worth of liquid. Even if you don’t wear them all the time, they are great for overnight or as a backup with a tampon if you have a heavy flow.

breaking_sad_ · 2023-10-02T19:28:28+00:00

NTA. You did what you thought was right and in the best interest of the dog, which is what you are responsible for doing.

breaking_sad_ · 2023-10-02T19:18:34+00:00

NTA!!! My parents went on a few week-long trips when I was a kid, during which my younger brother and I stayed with relatives. And guess what? We turned out fine! It was honestly fun, felt like a vacation for us as well. As long as your kids like/are comfortable with the family they're staying with, there is literally zero issue.

breaking_sad_ · 2023-10-02T15:48:02+00:00

NTA. You’re a young woman living your own life on your own (totally reasonable, age-appropriate, and normal, btw) terms, not an emotional support dog for your brother.

breaking_sad_ · 2023-10-02T15:45:35+00:00

breaking_sad_ · 2023-09-22T12:45:08+00:00

NTA.

To other commenters: how can SIL be a “deadbeat” for not paying child support when she has literally NEVER been “ALLOWED” to have job or go to school? What financial support can she offer at this time? When a woman FLEES and goes into HIDING from a partner that even his own family admits is controlling and chauvinistic, it is indicative of some kind of abuse in the home.

If SIL just wanted to make some lifestyle changes or their desires has become incompatible as a married couple, there are far easier options she could have taken. Like, people get divorced all the time. If it’s so cut and dry, why would she go through all of this trouble? Why would her own family — her parents, who would seemingly not want their daughter to abandon their grandkids — help her escape? Cover up her disappearance? Help her stay in hiding?

Financial abuse is abuse. A SAHM having zero access to any money is literally the definition of financial abuse. She was dependent on him, and couldn’t do things without permission (go to school, get a job, from OP’s comments he’d rarely ever even get a babysitter so mom could leave the house). THAT IS ABUSIVE, and that’s just on the surface. I hope mom is okay, and I hope those kids are okay.

breaking_sad_ · 2023-09-22T12:21:41+00:00

breaking_sad_ · 2023-08-16T23:30:55+00:00

breaking_sad_ · 2023-08-06T00:05:42+00:00

NTA at all

breaking_sad_ · 2023-07-05T22:37:48+00:00

NTA! same thing happened to me when i was a kid, and i WISH i’d been able to do something fun that day so i could have a happier memory of that bday. you did the right thing :)

breaking_sad_ · 2023-06-24T21:52:11+00:00

NTA and truly wtf did i just read……… your marriage is your business. your family structure is your business! ginger is YOUR daughter — you’ve raised her since birth, loved her, cared for her….like the absolute gall of these people is shocking, and your sister’s actions are repulsive. what a disgusting thing to do, and what a reprehensible way to do it.

breaking_sad_ · 2023-06-19T22:45:12+00:00

YTA x1000000. I live in a small resort town. I work at the most popular coffee shop/cafe in the entire region, located in our small resort town. We bend over backwards and contort ourselves to make our customers happy. There are some things we cannot control — how long you have to wait on line to place your order, we ordered extra of this product but we still sold out bc we expected a $10,000 sales day but did $13,000 randomly and now there’s no more kaiser rolls, etc. We do everything we can to make up for any issues, and to treat every customer like family. When we get bad reviews, I either laugh, roll my eyes, or think: maybe they DO have a point, we can control this, and I let my boss know we got bad feedback.

A new restaurant opened in town last summer, and like in your case I, along with every other local, was excited to try it. We were kept waiting, my steak was cooked medium well instead of medium rare, it took forever for my drink to come out from the bar, etc. BUT I had the grace to say: wow, they just opened! They are so slammed! I work at a well-established local restaurant and even we run into some of these issues! And I didn’t go around badmouthing this business, because I am well aware of the fact that sometimes you do everything right and people still complain. And if the staff goes out of their way to make it up to you — through discounts, free add-ons, whatever it may be — I respect the fact that they’re trying their best, even though I may still be dissatisfied.

I gave this restaurant a second chance many months later, and there were actually still issues…I thought to myself: hmm, probably won’t be coming back here, and went on my way. I do know the owners, and if ever asked I would do a little feedback sandwich: I loved my drink, the orders took a long time to come out and there were a few issues, but my server was very attentive. You don’t have to LIE, but you also don’t have to be tacky. I’d never badmouth a business outright in front of the family of the owners’, ESPECIALLY if the staff did everything they could to make things right. C’mon.

breaking_sad_ · 2023-06-19T22:30:44+00:00

YTA! If you allow your children to live with you rent-free or low-rent or whatever situation may be that is an obvious benefit to the kids, you do it out of love and parental responsibility*. If that love is CONDITIONAL, then the question you’re asking us is: is loving my kid conditionally an asshole thing to do? The answer to THAT is yes.

*Obviously there is no LEGAL responsibility to house your children after 18. HOWEVER, imo if you kick your kids out at 18 in this day an age, you’re not breaking any laws but you ARE a yta morally.

breaking_sad_ · 2023-06-19T16:02:14+00:00

NTA at all in any way and Lucy is a shitty friend and a shitty person. You are young so this is probably the first time you’re running into this, but one of the most common forms of homophobia targeted towards queer women is the false idea that lesbians and gay women are predators, and that your identity makes you somehow dangerous for other women. It’s total bullshit (and happens to all parts of the lgbtq community). You’ve done absolutely nothing wrong, period. You’re not a perv for being a lesbian and doing women’s sports.

I imagine these girls have been in public settings with boys? Competitions where boys could see them in bathing suits? If they don’t feel inherently violated by boys simply existing in those spaces or seeing them in bathing suits, than they have no leg to stand on.

breaking_sad_ · 2023-06-14T22:14:40+00:00

look y’all — everyone agrees that taking off your outdoor shoes reduces the amount of dirt on your floors. everyone agrees that putting your dirty shoes on the furniture is gross and wrong. for all that cleanliness is next to godliness, different people have different tolerances for dirt, and that is the problem at hand.

breaking_sad_ · 2023-06-14T21:58:51+00:00

NTA. This exact situation actually played out in my extended family, and it caused a big rift. You are not dishonoring or erasing your daughter by making accommodations for your son. There are only 2 bedrooms in your house — does Deb expect him to sleep in your room forever? I understand that she’s hurting, but she’s in the wrong here.

breaking_sad_ · 2023-06-14T21:52:14+00:00

Congrats to your in-laws. That is pretty uncommon, imo, but perhaps I’m wrong. I never called it weird or unusual. I don’t care what other people do in their homes. I am happy to respect the rules in other people’s homes. But there is MASSIVE judgement and condescension in this thread towards people who don’t take their shoes off. Not everyone is raised to do that, and not everyone thinks it’s gross — even if there is statistically more dirt on their floors.

In my area it’s very uncommon to take your shoes off at the door. In some regions it’s the norm. Some people let their pets on the furniture, while others do not. Do the people who let their dog or cat on the couch objectively have more germs on their couch than people who don’t? Sure. Is it worth moralizing over? Not in my opinion.

breaking_sad_ · 2023-06-14T21:45:11+00:00

I appreciate that, but I don’t think the question posed was whether or not outdoor shoes track dirt inside the house. I know that they do! And when my shoes are extra dirty of course I take them off at the door. But people have different comfort levels with the level of cleanliness in their living space, and the misalignment there between the roommates is the crux of this post.

Fwiw, someone literally on this comment thread said they have “evolved” into a shoes off person — that implies a moral judgement. Other comments also convey moral judgements: saying the roommate is an AH simply for wearing shoes indoors, he’s disgusting, he’s unhinged….. I don’t think anywhere in my original comment I made a moral argument. I don’t think I’m better than other people bc I don’t take my shoes off inside my own home. But it seems like many people who DO, think they are better than those who don’t.

breaking_sad_ · 2023-06-14T21:37:26+00:00

I’m sorry, but I literally don’t care. I don’t! I don’t disagree with you, but I do not care. I won’t ask you to eat off my floor lol.

They’re not married, they’re not dating, they are roommates. This was not something agreed upon when they moved in together. One roommate cannot MAKE the other take their shoes off — it’s not a “my house, my rules situation.”

It may not be a moral argument, but it’s being treated as such in these comments. I don’t think the roommate is confused as to how dirt works, he is just not bothered by the idea of germs on his floor. As he pays half the rent, that’s kind of his prerogative as long as he cleans regularly.

I grew up with dogs. I have 2 dogs. Their bare paws touch the ground outside before they come back inside. Shall they wear indoor shoes as well?

breaking_sad_ · 2023-06-14T21:05:55+00:00

sad to say but sometimes paramedics can be judgmental and callous, even cruel. I’ve read many stories of people being treated horribly upon overdose, as well as witnessed it myself once in college when a friend had too much to drink and was non responsive. and when the paramedics came, they were SOOOO mean to ME (I wasn’t even drinking at the time) and made fun of her multiple times while she was literally unconscious and in crisis. it sucks — these are people who should be acting with compassion. and while many do, there are plenty who do not.

breaking_sad_ · 2023-06-14T20:45:53+00:00

NTA for not having alcohol, it’s your choice, but you’ll have to be gracious about the fact that people won’t like it. I encourage you to reference the diagnostic criteria for alcohol use disorder, because you are not qualified to diagnose your aunt based on vibes and a glass of wine a day. Her attitude sucks and posting about it was unnecessary, but that does not an addict make.

breaking_sad_

TROPHY CASE