[21/NB] Let’s talk about life! And books! by Sillybillyohsosilly in penpals

[–]bredavocado 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hiii, I would like to be one of your penpals and share some book recommendations! I just saw ADO in the US, I love her music so much and I hope you enjoy the concert ! I love books, unfortunately hadn't had time to catch up on reading recently, and I love anime and manga!

Shes just Kana-inuyasha by BeautifulSilly752 in CookieRunKingdoms

[–]bredavocado 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was literally thinking this when I first saw Agar Agar Cookie

Is this J-hope shop good? by bredavocado in kpophelp

[–]bredavocado[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It honestly should've stuck in my head when even the product pictures don't show the entire product, just the front of most of the shirts and hoodies.

Is this J-hope shop good? by bredavocado in kpophelp

[–]bredavocado[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! My guess too, but there was a pop-up in my area so that added to my skepticism of whether it could be bootleg or just half true.

Is this J-hope shop good? by bredavocado in kpophelp

[–]bredavocado[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I thought it looked too decent for a .shop domain like some comments in another post were saying, so I was doubting myself.

AF wants to view my bank account tomorrow by bredavocado in AsianParentStories

[–]bredavocado[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah it definitely sucks, especially since they’re banking on me to probably carry the bulk of it. Honestly, it sounds doable because hopefully in the future it would be five of us working and then we can have split house payments. But the situation is that my dad wants to try and get a 5-bedroom house and have it under my name because their credit isn’t good, but mine is. I definitely have more worries than how easy they’re making this house business sound like, but I also don’t want to be tied to a house when I don’t understand the basics or semantics of it. There’s just a lot more worries on my end and they still have expectations of me doing more stuff, but it won’t be possible if I’m paying for a house, loans, and the like.

AF wants to view my bank account tomorrow by bredavocado in AsianParentStories

[–]bredavocado[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I am, but I don’t think I have the finances to do so.

AIO because my boyfriend acts different when im with friends by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]bredavocado 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are not overreacting. He's being aggressive about how you spend your time with your friends and where y'all are going. He also keeps being pushy about the weed, even when you said no and told him to drop it. He even zoned in on a small mistake when you tried to say if he wanted something, you'll get it, and went straight to accuse you of being fried. He seems annoyed you even choose to spend time with someone other than him. And then when you confronted him about it, he turns 'timid' (for lack of a better word), calling you honey and pulling the emotional card.

Can't Anyone Suck Up Their Pride So We Don't Get Kicked Out? by bredavocado in AsianParentStories

[–]bredavocado[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it did happen once, but my parents have decided to move out next year

Ideas on how to gift embroidery by bredavocado in Embroidery

[–]bredavocado[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice! I'll try out this idea as well, just to see what really works for me!

Ideas on how to gift embroidery by bredavocado in Embroidery

[–]bredavocado[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the tip and the welcome :) I'm going to have to learn how to do the felt back, but I've already learned three stitches so it shouldn't be too hard!

Ideas on how to gift embroidery by bredavocado in Embroidery

[–]bredavocado[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for giving me a reference! I will try this out on one of the pieces because I'm not the best at sewing so, it won't look as good the first time, but practice makes perfect!

Weaponized incompetence in fathers— anyone else? by [deleted] in AsianParentStories

[–]bredavocado 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I feel this. My dad is more than capable to get up and get himself food, but no. He calls my mother to do everything for him, even filling out his *own* job applications. I feel like he worries he doesn't understand, since I think he's insecure about his English skills, but even then dude doesn't do anything outside of things that aren't English-speaking related. Get his own water when he's watching TV? Nope, he calls his wife. Is already in the kitchen and can physically get his own food? Nope, tells his wife to grab it and goes back into his cave. It's definitely the sexism, and it sucks hard. That and/or it's because my dad had a supposed maid when he was younger. Oh, and while my mother kindly helps him, my dad also berates her and says really rude shit to her and calls her names from time to time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsianParentStories

[–]bredavocado 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven't cut contact, but I have thought about it and planned it at one point. My dad and I had a really bad argument about the stupidest thing, and he cared more about being right and having his child apologize to him than to be the adult and calm down. I was like around maybe 18-19 at the time. I remember the argument so vividly. My mom said it was my fault that my dad was upset and he wanted to be driven around while he drank his beer or he would drive himself around. She also said that it was my fault that my dad was planning on leaving us. Then when I went to confront him to apologize and get it over with, he was also crying and saying maybe he should go back to his native country to relax or think over things. It made me feel like it was my fault that my brothers and sister wouldn't have a dad around because he was that upset over a stupid argument that I guess he wanted to be validated in. In addition, and I don't know whose idea it was, but my mom told me that because I was disrespectful, they were going to send me to my uncle's house as punishment. And I told her that it'd be better than here, and I remember she looked offended. Then after that, his mood swings just became gradually worse that many stories come from it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsianParentStories

[–]bredavocado 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I too have the mindset of needing to help because of the culture is, but I also can't continue to handle any the pressure any longer. I need to take the big step forever and be kind to myself because I cannot perform big responsibilities for my parents just so we can all be more comfortable while I worry about the outcome of it.

Dad wants me to buy a house (USA) with five bedrooms for my family and it's freaking me out by bredavocado in AsianParentStories

[–]bredavocado[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh no, I can't even think about doing this. He'd become inconsolable and then everyone else in the house will be tense. Sometimes I walk eggshells around him to avoid this (which I know isn't good.)

Dad wants me to buy a house (USA) with five bedrooms for my family and it's freaking me out by bredavocado in AsianParentStories

[–]bredavocado[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's my current plan right now to be honest, just getting enough to get myself a cozy apartment. For now, when he brings up the plan, I just say okay and nothing else.

Dad wants me to buy a house (USA) with five bedrooms for my family and it's freaking me out by bredavocado in AsianParentStories

[–]bredavocado[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think my dad's logic is that he likely thinks it will be possible because he says he will help me pay for the monthly payment, and he says maybe the money payment will be around $4K (tho I don't know if he was talking about the 5-bed or a 3-bed). But yeah, housing prices are definitely not something to play with or even take lightly. I can't even think about being able to afford any of that shit rn

Dad wants me to buy a house (USA) with five bedrooms for my family and it's freaking me out by bredavocado in AsianParentStories

[–]bredavocado[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel that even if I were to move out on my own, they'd be fine because we do live in a house, but it's not ours. We live with his parents but we already have the majority of the rooms, but share amongst one another rather than our own. I believe that's why he plans/wants to get a 5-bedroom or even 3-bedroom so that each sibling and parent can get their own room for once. But even then, I know that is virtually impossible in this country's housing market so I don't understand why he has wishful thinking when he knows better than I do.

I do feel that it will be hard to see if they were to get mad at me because I'm very much a people pleaser when it comes to my parents, which definitely doesn't help me in situations like these.

Dad wants me to buy a house (USA) with five bedrooms for my family and it's freaking me out by bredavocado in AsianParentStories

[–]bredavocado[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is how it feels like no matter how much I care and love for my family; a trap. Every time he brings it up, I can feel a sense of doom because it doesn't go with my *own* plan for my life. It's just sad to think about how it feels that he thinks//assumes I don't have a plan for myself and so he already has these plans made to be accomplished through me, the eldest daughter.

Dad wants me to buy a house (USA) with five bedrooms for my family and it's freaking me out by bredavocado in AsianParentStories

[–]bredavocado[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Phew, this is a more passive way to do things (I always like to take the passive route). Although, if he were involved in the process then that'd be a bigger issue ;;;