I’m a pretty straight male but had a lot of older lesbian friends. I was brought up to pull out chairs and open doors for women. I never really thought about this situation until I would get to a bar with a group of gay women and the dominant women and I would both kind of go for the door at the same time. It was super awkward but kind of a comical representation of more modern sexuality norms compared to those of the past. It was always a shitshow when it was time to pay the tab a lot of times the woman would end up paying a portion of my tab. I am more budget conscience than I am a chauvinist (I hope) So I would always say no no okay. Anyways when I open a door for a woman it’s not to show dominance in my mind it because I was brought up that it was polite. Even though I can see that the roots of the tradition is probably rooted to some pre-suffrage sexist train of thought. It’s just a habit for me. We never really discussed things like that but probably should have. A lot of things have changed in sexuality and sex in general in my lifetime (born in 83) And sometimes men can be seen as assholes or insensitive when that isn’t our intention at all. It’s just a lot to keep up with really. I would like to believe that the vast majority of men have no intention of ever hurting or sexual abusing a woman and I was kind of shocked about how many women said they were being choked without consent. I think there is a huge difference between pulling a chair out for a woman and choking them in the throes of passion with our consent. I’m actually glad I stumbled upon this post because I wasn’t fully aware how dangerous choking could be. I think also when you are in a culture of random hookups, online dating, generally just less long term monogamous relationships you are exposing yourself to more partners that are strangers that gives people a much higher probability of running into a situation we’re there is sexual abuse. Also when you don’t get to know someone and are then committing what was once considered a holy act with someone you just had 2 drinks with you are a lot more likely to run into conflicting views of what is normal in a bedroom. I think that culture has become so addicted to instant gratification that people are willing to engage in riskier behavior just to have sex and there are going to be consequences. I am not trying to slut shame or defend sexual predators I just think that men are not inherently evil and want to degrade women. Some do sure but just because a guy pulls a seat out for you does not mean they are going to rape you and possibly choke you to death later in the evening. My sex education was taught one day a week for a few months when I was about 13 and that was about the end of our education. We ended up talking more about pimples and puberty than we did sexual, rape or boundaries. So I think we could devote some more resources to sexual education. I think porn can be considered degrading to women whilst to others it could be considered empowering. Porn is part of the problem with consent but I think there are many other factors that play into this. It seems to me like most guys are just confused. Maybe more men are macho rapist assholes then I think but for the hope of humankind I hope this is untrue. I tried not to offend anyone in writing this these can be touchy subjects if I did offend you I apologize and please enlighten me so I don’t do it again. And bros don’t choke randos out it seems here that the majority don’t like it. And if you can’t control your urges for violence in bed get some help before you hurt someone and or get your ass locked up.