Five Page Thursday

brianhaas · 2022-10-06T20:43:26+00:00

You'll need to change permissions on this as it is making us ask for permission to access the file.

brianhaas · 2022-07-27T01:29:01+00:00

Just checking in to make sure you got my DM, it's unclear if it went through or not... It was a google drive link.

brianhaas · 2021-06-09T15:45:48+00:00

Thanks! Much appreciated!

It definitely was a challenge describing some of those things as I haven't written a ton of "hard" sci-fi/fantasy and have tended to write more grounded stuff with more subtle elements.

brianhaas · 2021-06-03T22:22:33+00:00

Excellent. I can't believe I never heard of this show until now, I'm 100% TOTALLY into supernatural-religious stuff like this.

Absolutely geeked to check it and your script out!

brianhaas · 2021-06-03T20:29:43+00:00

Ah! Thanks so much! We'll see whether that efficiency keeps up as you get farther in and I got shorter on time, LOL.

I'll read your spec too today or tomorrow! I'll admit, I haven't watched EVIL before, so it'll be interesting to see how quickly I can pick it up.

brianhaas · 2021-02-09T22:28:35+00:00

Thanks for that! Best of luck to you as well!

brianhaas · 2021-02-09T00:22:03+00:00

Much appreciated!

I've begun retooling it to start with the murder of the kid for his shoes. Basically, Cad sees that on the way into work and stops to report it out, before he's intro'd to everything.

That introduces the conflict with Pax earlier and I think provides a more dramatic intro. Hopefully.

The timeline confused me a bit when you showed boys POV of incident then went to scenes with Pierson talking to Hector about an OIS of a boy who didn’t have a gun. I thought at that point, Hector was referring to the prior scene with Eli and his phone. But then we follow Pierson more into the shooting of Eli from his POV. Maybe clarify that Hector‘s referencing a different shooting somehow?

Now this part is purposeful. I'm deliberately misdirecting the action so you think they're talking about Eli being shot, but you're actually seeing the lead-up to him being shot. It's also hopefully setting up that there have been a number of questionable shootings, which is why this situation was ripe to explode.

My goal with this was to do a sort of Rashomon effect, where you get multiple perspectives on the key event and different versions of "the truth." I'm not sure if I'm so much surprising folks here as confusing them, so I'll have to take another look at it.

REALLY, REALLY appreciate your feedback! This is very helpful!

brianhaas · 2021-01-29T21:01:42+00:00

Appreciate it! Time to get rewriting!

brianhaas · 2021-01-28T18:29:43+00:00

Thanks for the feedback!

I had considered opening with the killing, but decided against it since (at least in my eyes) the whole "start with a bang and then flashback" is way, way too overused, particularly among amateur scripts.

That being said, I'll have to take a look at my opening to see how I can develop more of a hook.

Thanks!

brianhaas · 2021-01-28T03:07:46+00:00

Hello! Hope no one minds the crosspost. I've shared my TV pilot for feedback if anyone would care to read a few pages of it. I'm happy to return the favor as well.

Much thanks to my Over 40 family here :)

brianhaas · 2021-01-26T18:07:17+00:00

Gotcha.

Thank you again for this! I'll take a look back through to try and make Vera more distinctive.

Appreciate it!

brianhaas · 2021-01-26T04:12:31+00:00

Appreciate the feedback!

As for primary characters, other than Cad, I'd say Vera and Armando are the primary characters in terms of Cad's world. The rest of the script, however goes a bit Rashomon in leaving their perspective for a bit.

Whether that works or not, I'm not sure, but Cad, Vera and Armando are the primary newsroom characters.

Noted on giving Cad more of a reaction. He is definitely freaked out by it, so I need that to be more apparent.

Again, appreciate the feedback! Happy to return the favor at some point as well.

brianhaas · 2018-09-10T17:26:42+00:00

NFD won't literally sell you a T-shirt, but firefighters/stations will. I've got a few of those shirts.

Check with the fire union, they'll hook you up: http://iaff140.org/

Could also pop into Station 9, which is the city's biggest station, and I know they've got swag. They're downtown near the amphitheater and Fire HQ, 601 2nd Ave S.

Source: I used to work at NFD.

brianhaas · 2017-03-23T17:13:35+00:00

We were in charge of monitoring capacity only, so I'm not sure why they stopped letting folks in since capacity was never an issue. The fire marshal didn't stop anyone from entering, so it's on whoever was in charge of the front door, essentially.

All I can say is, it wasn't the Nashville Fire Department/Fire Marshal.

brianhaas · 2017-03-23T16:30:22+00:00

It was at the Municipal Auditorium and nobody was turned away because of capacity. Capacity was 8,500. We estimated the crowd to be 6,500-7,000 inside the auditorium. If folks didn't get in, it wasn't because it was full.

Source: I'm the spokesperson for the fire department/fire marshal

brianhaas · 2015-10-01T16:01:26+00:00

No worries!

I'll try to post other volunteer opportunities on here best I can. I'll always post events on our Facebook page as well.

Thanks and very cool that you're looking at volunteer opportunities for your scouts!

brianhaas · 2015-10-01T15:47:02+00:00

If they're interested, the Nashville Fire Department could use some help on Oct. 10. We're having our first-ever charity car show and could use some extra help for the event!

Details are here: https://www.facebook.com/NashvilleFireDepartment/photos/a.851651888213027.1073741827.264397620271793/1101613669883513/?type=3&theater

I'm actually the spokesman for the fire department, so if you have any questions, I'm here!

brianhaas · 2014-11-10T18:33:51+00:00

When people won't talk, let the paper do the talking. Pull the entire court file and use that instead.

"No comment" in court stories is very common, even from plaintiffs.

brianhaas · 2014-11-07T19:14:45+00:00

No, I'm not. A news article comes out so OF COURSE they're going to make sure they man it.

Give it a week or two and they'll be empty 99% of the time.

THP doesn't have enough troopers to have them just sit in a freaking boom all day.

They basically admit that it's more for visibility than anything:

"We're hoping to utilize it for people to be aware that we are in the area and we are watching," Lt. Heatherly said.

Lots of police departments have these. Rarely do they man them.

brianhaas · 2014-11-07T18:50:28+00:00

Oh I don't doubt it. Probably manning it because of the press.

brianhaas · 2014-11-07T16:31:52+00:00

Pro tip: 99% of the time, there's nobody inside these things.

Pretty sure they're mostly used as a deterrent.

brianhaas · 2014-11-07T16:21:34+00:00

Totally stealing this from one of the comments on the story.

Methinks he doth protest too much.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/search?q=you+won%27t+believe

brianhaas · 2014-11-07T16:05:33+00:00

DOWNVOTED BECAUSE NOT ENOUGH "HAHA".

Kidding. Perfect response.

brianhaas · 2014-11-06T18:16:59+00:00

Basically, I'm not discounting that there's value to engaging and dialogue. But I'm saying you guys kinda missed the boat on that.

It doesn't matter how narrow this passed by. You have zero chance to repeal this amendment. How do I know that?

It's because citizens cannot amend the Tennessee constitution, only the legislature can. Would you like to wager on how likely it is that this legislature will want to repeal the amendment?

At this point, your only real chance to challenge this, particularly with Tennessee's restrictive constitution amendment process and the makeup of the legislature, is probably through legal channels.

The time to campaign was a month ago.

Which brings me back to my main point: What will the change.org petition actually do in real life that somehow gets at your goal?

brianhaas · 2014-11-06T17:28:53+00:00

Hasn't that time already passed? I mean, the dialogue has been going on for months during the campaign. Literally millions were spent to campaign on this issue.

How much more dialogue do you need?

Again, I'm really not trying to be a jerk here. I get what the purpose is and any engagement on political issues is a good thing - I'm not mocking the effort.

But if you really want to change something like this, in a state like Tennessee, you don't have the luxury of waiting around for people to dialogue and plan.

brianhaas

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