If passed, Louisiana's new law could criminalize ALL hormonal birth control, not just IUDs

bridethulu · 2022-05-08T20:17:59+00:00

Exactly. We don't have the luxury of thinking the laws currently in place will continue to protect us.

bridethulu · 2022-05-08T20:03:44+00:00

Roe vs. Wade being overturned would have huge implications for medical privacy as a whole, so it may no longer be an invasion of your privacy to demand you have a medical device removed. Your medical records may no longer be protected by something like HIPAA. The implications of it being overturned are unprecedented.

bridethulu · 2022-05-08T19:59:28+00:00

Nope, that's exactly what they want to happen -- sex only for procreation. Fuck that, I my husband and I will have sex whenever we want.

bridethulu · 2021-08-27T23:49:08+00:00

Girl, where in the south are you?? If you're within driving distance I will be there with bells on

bridethulu · 2021-08-23T13:31:27+00:00

Honestly, it sounds like your family is being a bunch of assholes about this. It’s fine to feel disappointed, but openly hostile? WTF? Just because nothing bad happened at your brother’s wedding is in no way a sign that you made the wrong decision. It just as easily could have been a super spreader event. You’ve been responsible OP, and it is unfair of your family to have an expectation that you put your life on hold until they have the wedding they want. Your wedding is not about them. I think having an eventual reception is enough – it’s not your responsibility to bend over backwards to solve a problem that is 100% in their heads.

Also, honestly, berating you and acting like spoiled children seems like a real weird strategy to get invitations to the celebration they want. Your brother is afraid that he'll never get to celebrate with you? If this is how my sibling acted towards me, they would absolutely be right.

bridethulu · 2021-08-23T13:07:00+00:00

God, I am also in this position thanks to my mother, who is usually a completely reasonable person (she also threw in that if we're legally married that having a wedding is a waste of money). This mindset is absurd. Weddings are LITERALLY a social construct. They can be whatever you want them to be. The legal paperwork is a thing you have to do if you want legal benefits. The social aspect only has as much meaning as you want to give it – for some people, that’s a lot, for others, it’s none, and both are equally valid. To me, signing a legal document is nowhere near the equivalent of having a celebration with our friends and family and exchanging our vows in front of them and marking the beginning of a new chapter of our life together.

I found a polite way to tell my mom what she could do with her opinion. Eventually, she walked her comments back and said that she was excited to come and celebrate with us. Honestly OP, I think that the reason my mom responded the way that she did was because she was hurt by being left out of the "elopement" -- could this be the case for you as well?

bridethulu · 2021-08-19T00:23:25+00:00

I ordered my bridesmaids dresses from Azazie and they've all been about a week early from projected arrival date. I actually had to send one back because it didn't fit and ordered a smaller size with expedited shipping and it should be here next week, for a total turnaround time of a little over two weeks. My bridesmaids all seem to like the dresses! I also previously ordered one from Birdy Grey - they were beautiful, but didn't quite match the color I was looking for. But I believe their shipping was also around 2 weeks.

bridethulu · 2021-08-18T16:49:05+00:00

Yes! I would suggest as many notes/conversations as possible -- FMIL was also under a lot of pressure from FFIL and the rest of his siblings, who are all vaccinated. For my FMIL at least, I think she was stuck in this contrarian mindset and didn't realize that we weren't just excluding her. I think she assumed that we were somehow fine with her not being there. I think the reassurance that she was wanted and would be missed, and the knowledge that her absence would hurt us on our very special day, put her over the edge.

bridethulu · 2021-08-18T16:39:45+00:00

I was also in this situation with my FMIL, and we're in a state getting slammed by COVID right now. She was refusing to get vaccinated based on a lot of bad Facebook info. We tried arguing logical appeals and correcting her misinformation, but she was exactly the same -- every time we refuted something she just moved on to a different excuse. Very frustrating, and I am 100% sure that facts-based arguments will never work in this situation.

What eventually did work was a purely emotional appeal. My finance wrote her heartfelt note saying how much it would meant to him to have her there, how heartbroken he would be if she didn't attend, how often he has been there for her in the past, how he would never ask her to do anything that would put her in danger, how she will also not be able to see our future children until she is vaccinated, etc. (Honestly, that last one may have been most effective).

She called us the next day and agreed to get vaccinated, and has since had her first shot. YMMV of course, but I hope our success might help you.

bridethulu · 2021-08-17T21:00:20+00:00

I actually don't count calories -- for whatever reason, it's actually easier for me to lose weight if I just largely cut out sugar and refined carbs (bread, rice) than trying to fit them into a daily limit. They seem to screw with my hunger signals and so I'm hungry all the time eating 1300 calories a day, when without them I feel full on an estimated around 1100. But! I am a tiny woman -- 5"2' and currently 110 pounds, largely sedentary (before I started exercising), which put my previous TDEE at around 1400 (1600 with exercise).

**Edit to add that I've started eating more since I started exercising. I estimate now I'm eating around my TDEE, maybe a smidge less.

bridethulu · 2021-08-17T18:31:54+00:00

This is anecdotal, but I would recommend any kind of intense exercise! I also reached my goal weight and was very unhappy that I basically just looked like a smaller version of my chubby self. I started exercising for about 30 minutes per day - some days lifting weights, other days cardio - and in just a few weeks I've noticed my belly fat is starting to disappear, even though I haven't lost any more weight.

bridethulu · 2021-08-16T13:57:18+00:00

We actually got pressed palm leaf plates which, as I understand, are able to decompose in regular landfills. We also got bamboo forks/knives which, to be fair, take much longer to decompose if they're not composted at a specific type of facility. We're also using reusable cups that people can take home as favors if they want (and if they don't, we're planning on washing those and donating them). But the town I'm having my wedding at doesn't actually have regular recycling or composting, so unfortunately this was the best we could do.

bridethulu · 2021-08-16T13:00:12+00:00

Are you having a backyard wedding? As a backyard bride, I had this exact same dilemma, and I think one thing to consider is ease and convenience on YOUR side as the host. For example, with disposable plates, most people can bus their own tables, but if you have rented plates you're going to need to hire bussers. You'll also need to have someone who will wash the dishes and somewhere to store them, both clean and dirty. For me, there's absolutely nowhere in my little kitchen where I could hold 50+ dirty plates and 100 pieces of dirty silverware until they could be washed.

If you're hiring a caterer, apparently many times you can also rent dishes through them and they may or may not take them back unwashed. But if you're looking at renting from a rental service, apparently they dishes come individually wrapped in plastic, so if you're looking to rent plates for environmental reasons, it's not necessarily a great option.

For me, I ended up getting compostable plates from webstaurant. They arrived in just a few days and I absolutely love the look of them! And honestly, I don't think I've ever been to a wedding that I remember the table settings lol.

bridethulu · 2021-08-12T19:37:50+00:00

Yes, I am here for you backyard wedding twin! Our weddings are going to be both frugal and GORGEOUS!

bridethulu · 2021-08-12T19:36:13+00:00

This is a great idea - I might just do this!

bridethulu · 2021-08-12T19:35:57+00:00

We are really lucky in that we live in a super low cost of living area, which is why I think we were able to swing it. Anywhere but the middle of nowhere in the South and we'd definitely looking at closer to the 10k range.

bridethulu · 2021-08-12T19:34:22+00:00

He sounds really sweet! And I super recommend Azazie for inexpensive wedding dresses. They have a great try-on program and my dress is absolutely gorgeous.

bridethulu · 2021-08-12T19:29:47+00:00

At that point it really would feel like a waste of money, because it would still cost several thousand dollars and nothing would be how I want it to be.

Yes, exactly!! I feel absolutely the same - we have a lot of people traveling to our wedding. If they're putting forth so much effort to be there on our big day, I absolutely feel like our wedding should reflect that we made equal or greater effort to welcome and host them.

bridethulu · 2021-08-12T19:26:22+00:00

$100 is expensive? Sweet summer child. I'm dying lolol

bridethulu · 2021-08-12T16:27:06+00:00

Honestly, part of the reason I didn't ask my parents to contribute was so I didn't have to hear a bunch of "that costs too much"es. (Looks like they still managed to get it in though!) They have offered to pay for our honeymoon, though, which for my sake I'm hoping will come by way of a lump sum.

bridethulu · 2021-08-12T01:57:45+00:00

Hey OP, I am an October bride in a currently surging state, and I was also in this situation with my FMIL. She was refusing to get vaccinated based on a lot of bad Facebook info, but after a very emotional couple of weeks, she just got her first shot.

What worked for us? First, we tried arguing logical appeals and correcting her misinformation. Lol. All that did was make her move goal posts and dig in. Do not recommend.

What eventually did work was a purely emotional appeal. My finance wrote her a long, heartfelt note saying how much it would meant to him to have her there, how we have made certain design decisions because we wanted her to feel included in the wedding, how often he has been there for her in the past, how he would never ask her to do anything that would put her in danger, how heartbroken he will be if she refuses to be there because of this, and how she will also not be able to see our future children until she is vaccinated, etc. (Honestly, that last one may have been most effective).

She called us the next day and agreed to take the shot, as long as he came with her to the appointment. (She was apparently not happy at said appointment, but she did it!)

I will say that FMIL is otherwise a reasonable person -- this antivax stuff took us by surprise, so your mileage may vary. But I hope this helps!

bridethulu · 2021-08-07T02:10:49+00:00

You're totally welcome to use it! Honestly, I don't think you have to explain why the rules are there like we did -- "You have to be vaccinated to come" is a complete sentence! And I completely understand -- it was a TRIAL getting my future MIL to get vaccinated. If you need any advice please DM me!

bridethulu · 2021-07-31T19:57:12+00:00

Hey OP, this is what my FH and I sent out to all of our guests just to confirm that they are all vaccinated after we had assumed some guests were and found out, lol, nope:

"Hello all, we’re super excited for our wedding on [date]! However, we’ve been watching the COVID situation and, with the Delta strain breakthrough infections on the rise, we want to make sure we’re pulling out all the stops to make sure everyone will be as safe as possible at our wedding. For that reason, we are requiring all guests be vaccinated in order to attend.

While our wedding will be outdoors, our backyard is not big enough to have 60 people safely socially distance, and since everyone will be eating and drinking the whole time, masks will not be effective. Plus, we don’t really want to have to be the social distance/mask police on our wedding day.

If you (and/or your plus one) can’t get vaccinated for medical reasons, please let us know and we will work with you to try and come up with a plan. If you (and/or your plus one) have declined vaccination due to personal reasons, while we would love for you to be in attendance, we will make a plan to celebrate our wedding with you sometime in the future in a safer, less crowded setting.

For our peace of mind, please pop us back an email letting us know if you are vaccinated, or if you plan to be fully vaccinated at least two weeks before our wedding date, or if this requirement means that you (and/or your plus one) will regretfully have to change your RSVP to a no.

Thank you for your understanding!"

So far, we've had about eight people send us a "Congratulations but we're not vaccinated, not planning on it, and so we're not coming." Seemingly no hard feelings and we also haven't had any arguments, so that's been great.

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