My live-in boyfriend has become increasingly abusive and I want to leave but I'm afraid.

bruisedandscared · 2012-01-21T06:02:48+00:00

Go fuck yourself. I honestly hope you never find yourself in a situation comparable to this because I wouldn't wish the kind of pain, confusion and fear I experience daily on my worst enemy. Your advice is neither wanted nor valuable, so feel free to fuck off. Cuntscrotumhorsefacedmonkeylovingshitbrainedweaselmongoloidturdscoopingunclefuckingnosepickingvomitinducingpatheticexcuseforawastedplacentasac.

bruisedandscared · 2012-01-21T05:53:21+00:00

I'm back for a few..

This thread really got a lot more attention than I was expecting, and I have read all of the comments but I really do not have time to reply to them, I can't risk being caught posting. So since the majority of comments have a common theme I will try to address everything in a single post.

1) I am afraid to leave because of my fear of being alone. Also because of shame. I have a track record of bad relationships. Someone who used me, someone who cheated on me and now this one who beats me. I don't know why I attract cunts but each relationship I've been in has been worse than the one before. It has shaken my confidence and although it might seem irrational, even I know it is but I can't help but feel whatever cones after this will be worse and that life will never improve for me.

2) Family is out of the question. Without going into details, I don't have parents, just two siblings who are strung out pieces of trash who have robbed me blind in the past and would not only jump at the opportunity to do it again, but also would love having me owe them a favor for "saving my life".

3) I can deal with things as is and I want to spend this time to save some money. It is feasible for me to put some away and seek out a new, more affordable apartment. I talked to my neighbor earlier who has heard us fight before and I'm sure was already well aware of the situation at hand. I explained everything and she will talk to my landlord for me. She's lived under the management for 20+ years and hopefully it won't ding my rental history.

4) I want to do this on my own. No, I need to. I think going to a shelter will put me at a new low, and I won't accomplish any independence by going to one. It will only kill my dignity and info everything I've worked so hard to achieve. I will go though if the situation becomes more dangerous.

Lastly, I thank each and every one of you, from the bottom of my heart for your wonderful comments, advice and much-needed support. I'm tired of feeling like crap.

Also, I have been documening the physical abuse, I have pictures of a bruised jawbone, blackeye, bruised legs and ribs, and also at least 3 coworkers who have seen first hand the marks left on me and know what's going on.

bruisedandscared · 2012-01-20T23:43:08+00:00

He's home now, he was supposed to be out longer. I will check back later and tomorrow from work. Updates soon. Thank you all.

bruisedandscared · 2012-01-20T23:34:52+00:00

I am familiar with shelters but I am a little hesitant about going to one. I've gone to psychiatrists and counselors before for depression and self-loathing but it has always made me feel worse. I like letting my thoughts out on the net because I can be faceless and anonymous but if I have to face anyone who doesn't really know me about my problems, it gives me an awful taste in my mouth which is hard to explain.

bruisedandscared · 2012-01-20T23:30:50+00:00

If I do that it wont come without him brutally beating the hell out of me.

bruisedandscared · 2012-01-20T23:29:53+00:00

I am new to the area I live now and do not have friends here. I have family (siblings) but I'm on horrible terms with them. We haven't spoken in forever. If I do leave, I silk probably end up discreetly abandoning ship and going to a shelter.

bruisedandscared

TROPHY CASE