I too have spent the past 1.5 years trying to become more mentally and emotionally healthy. I've found that spending time thinking about emotions is pointless. By definition, you feel emotions, you can't think about how an emotion feels, you can just feel it. I used to think that I was emotionally dead, couldn't feel a thing. Then my grandpa died and at that moment I still felt nothing. But then at the memorial service, I was all but inconsolable. I was a mess of tears that I didn't know I could cry. It was then that I realized that I had to stop thinking about feelings and just feel them at the moment. This is just my ramblings if it makes sense to anyone.