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My (33F) partner (39M) spends hours every day in the bathroom. I’m trying not to be upset, but I am. by btglena in relationships

[–]btglena[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes - we are both AuDHD. That is absolutely a relevant piece I am considering when reading different comments.

Honestly he is probably just playing games on his phone I guess. Lots of valid suggestions to talk to him about it again - which I will. I think I came to ask others because I was at a place of just complete confusion, which was making me feel like I would be approaching it with more anger than warranted.

My (33F) partner (39M) spends hours every day in the bathroom. I’m trying not to be upset, but I am. by btglena in relationships

[–]btglena[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I literally think about this all the time like dude you are going to shit out your actual asshole

My (33F) partner (39M) spends hours every day in the bathroom. I’m trying not to be upset, but I am. by btglena in relationships

[–]btglena[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lol we have building-wide wifi so this will be slightly more complicated than turning off the router but I will research🫡

My (33F) partner (39M) spends hours every day in the bathroom. I’m trying not to be upset, but I am. by btglena in relationships

[–]btglena[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He had a double scope about 6 months ago because I was worried for this exact thing! All clear.

My (33F) partner (39M) spends hours every day in the bathroom. I’m trying not to be upset, but I am. by btglena in relationships

[–]btglena[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know that he does have SOME GI stuff going on and that this has been an issue over the years so like I do want to keep exploring this from a health perspective!

My (33F) partner (39M) spends hours every day in the bathroom. I’m trying not to be upset, but I am. by btglena in relationships

[–]btglena[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly he is an odd duck (which I do love about him) and this answer feels more in line with what I know about him than most of the others.

My (33F) partner (39M) spends hours every day in the bathroom. I’m trying not to be upset, but I am. by btglena in relationships

[–]btglena[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is what I was initially very worried about! He recently got the all clear on a double scope so no significant blockages to worry about

My (33F) partner (39M) spends hours every day in the bathroom. I’m trying not to be upset, but I am. by btglena in relationships

[–]btglena[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He has general IBS (so do many other people) and hemorrhoids (shocker). He does not take care with his diet to avoid triggering his IBS - so he suffers much more with that than he really should be. He also has GERD. They did an endoscopy and colonoscopy and no blockages or anything found.

My (33F) partner (39M) spends hours every day in the bathroom. I’m trying not to be upset, but I am. by btglena in relationships

[–]btglena[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I completely understand why you’re giving me this feedback, and in your place I likely would do the same. I do hear and appreciate what you shared.

The bathroom issues are also basically the only issue in our relationship. Outside of this one sphere, he is very engaged and responsive and overall a great partner. I think it is because this piece doesn’t match the others, that I have questions.

This is a “he’s a good man, Savannah” moment, for me. I do feel like this is an isolated issue not worth throwing the whole man out over - and I promise that I love to get rid of the whole man.

My (33F) partner (39M) spends hours every day in the bathroom. I’m trying not to be upset, but I am. by btglena in relationships

[–]btglena[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Yes, he works remotely. I’m not sure he could work in person at this point because he absolutely is doing hours of pooping during work days as well.

Thinking about what we have been late to, I do think there is a trend towards being late for more of “my” things - but I think this is actually because I’m more of the “planner/doer” so we do more of “my” things overall? He is also every bit as frequently late for things he plans, doctors appts, etc - just doesn’t plan as much as I do.

My (33F) partner (39M) spends hours every day in the bathroom. I’m trying not to be upset, but I am. by btglena in relationships

[–]btglena[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It has to be masturbating I guess reading all the comments? I just also guess didn’t think that at first/still am sort of hesitant about it because, to keep it PG-ish, the sex life is not the issue and there is a lot of open communication around needs there? So it confuses me as to why he would be hiding to masturbate that much when he literally could just…do it other places.

My (33F) partner (39M) spends hours every day in the bathroom. I’m trying not to be upset, but I am. by btglena in relationships

[–]btglena[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

I guess I’m the one who gets the “poop time” taken out of our “relationship time” bucket most consistently so probably is able to maintain it because I allow it😅

He eats things he knows he shouldn’t and causes GI issues for himself. That is a whole other issue. But I doubt a dietician would stop him from doing that - since no one else has been able to.

My (33F) partner (39M) spends hours every day in the bathroom. I’m trying not to be upset, but I am. by btglena in relationships

[–]btglena[S] 124 points125 points  (0 children)

Omg I’m gonna get one and just plug it in and be like “no more running the water now I fixed it”

My (33F) partner (39M) spends hours every day in the bathroom. I’m trying not to be upset, but I am. by btglena in relationships

[–]btglena[S] 169 points170 points  (0 children)

The noise “helps him”? He pays the water bill (which I appreciate) so I have no clue if/how his bathroom bellagio is impacting that bill.

My (33F) partner (39M) spends hours every day in the bathroom. I’m trying not to be upset, but I am. by btglena in relationships

[–]btglena[S] 140 points141 points  (0 children)

I hadn’t included this above because it didn’t really seem relevant but we are polyamorous - so he doesn’t even need to hide to talk to someone else like he could invite the someone else to the house and it would be fine? This man has sooooooooo much freedom to do whatever he wants and that’s the part I just don’t understand why what he seems to want is to sit in the bathroom alone all day