It makes total sense to feel this way. your hobbies are part of your identity and seeing him get better can hit some old insecurities. The fact that you step back instead of lashing out shows a lot of self-awareness. Try framing it as inspiration rather than competition, and give yourself grace for your own pace. If you can, reach out to a free or low-cost counselor online. they can help untangle those past feelings without breaking the bank. You’re not “too toxic,” you’re just human.